Alexandria Rosales

From Blaseball Wiki

Alexandria Rosales is a lineup player for the Houston Spies, and has been with the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

Rosales joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Houston Spies with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season 6 elections, Rosales swapped positions with Evelton McBlase II as a result of the The Best Offense blessing, which swapped the best pitching hitter (Rosales) with their worst pitcher (McBlase II).

During the Coffee Cup, Rosales played for the Cold Brew Crew as a pitcher.

During the Season 18 elections, Rosales gained the Undefined modification as a result of the Inexplicable blessing.

On Season 21, Day 12, Rosales retreated to the Spies' Shadows in exchange for Plums Blather via An Undisclosed Location's Fax Machine. On Day 16, Rosales rejoined the Spies' pitching rotation in exchange for Blather via An Undisclosed Location's Fax Machine.

On Season 22, Day 3, Rosales retreated to the Spies' Shadows in exchange for Plums Blather via An Undisclosed Location's Fax Machine. During the same game, Rosales rejoined the Spies' pitching rotation in exchange for Blather via the Fax Machine. On Day 17, Rosales retreated once more to the Shadows in exchange for Bennett Bluesky due to the Fax Machine. On Day 18, Rosales rejoined the Spies' pitching rotation in exchange for Plums Blather, again via the Fax Machine. On Day 70, Rosales again retreated to the Shadows in exchange for Blather via the Fax Machine. During the same game, Rosales once more returned to the Spies' pitching rotation in exchange for Blather due to the Fax Machine. On Day 72, Rosales retreated to the Shadows in exchange for Blather via the Fax Machine once again. On Day 81, Rosales joined the Spies' lineup in exchange for Siobhan Chark via the Ratified Voicemail.

History

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Humble Roots

Alexandria Rosales's childhood is a mystery. Records prior to their adulthood have all been destroyed, and Rosales themself is not forthcoming about their life before recruitment to the Spies.

In interviews, Rosales has discussed being a high achiever, with multiple undisclosed lofty goals and aspirations. According to Rosales, when they want something, they go for it, whatever the cost may be. Nowhere is this more clear than in the events immediately preceding their recruitment to the Houston Spies.

According to what few reports survive and what little information Rosales and the Spies have provided, it began when Rosales was working as a bartender. Infuriated by exploitative work practices and rampant mistreatment, Rosales and their coworkers began organizing for fair treatment, only to face retaliation from their employers.

Several weeks of negotiations passed before the bar's owners fired and replaced the striking workers. Rosales's family heirloom—a cursed sword with such terrible power that it refused to be sheathed—activated along with their fury. In what can only be described as a berserker rage, Rosales wielded the heirloom sword against their former workplace and managers, destroying them utterly.

Its bloodlust finally sated, the sword allowed itself to be sheathed, but Rosales was still surrounded by destruction with the weapon in hand, obviously to blame. Jordan Hildebert of the Houston Spies approached Rosales with an offer: join the Spies, let us take a look at your cursed sword, put your viciousness to use for the mission, and we'll protect you from retaliation. Seeing no other alternative, Rosales accepted.

Reception and Outreach

From those humble roots, Alexandria Rosales has quickly risen up the ranks of the Houston Spies to become one of their most senior players. Lovingly referred to by the fans as the "heart of the team, plus the brain of the team, and indeed the soul of the team, and honestly the muscle of the team, but also, when you think about it, they're like the fist of the team as well."

Rosales has swapped positions several times in their time with the Spies, but is always known for being one of the strongest and most consistent performers. In fact, their origin story and their ruthlessness on the field have led to them being known as the Spies' "Most Vicious Player."

Rosales is particularly popular amongst the Spies' many LGBT fans, thanks to their commitment to outreach programs designed to make the splort more welcoming to minority groups. In their spare time, Rosales is the general manager of a local lesbian Blaseball league, and has said that in many ways this work is just as important as their full-time job.

Despite many attempts by Spies fans and others to visit Rosales at the league they manage, there are never any records of them having ever been there. Only the actual members of the league have reported any actual sightings, which almost always involve Rosales smiling joyfully.

Pitching

At the end of Season 6, Jaylen Hotdogfingers was resurrected and immediately began beaning batters with blaseballs. Inspired by this event, Rosales decided to swap places with Evelton McBlase II and took the mound, aiming to strengthen their reputation as one of the "Most Vicious Players" in the ILB. As it turned out, all their time managing the local lesbian blaseball team taught them all the fundementals of proper pitching, and they ended up being the best pitcher on the Spies roster.

Off the Mound

After recruitment, Rosales quickly became one of the Spies' most dedicated agents. Though the details of their many successful missions are classified, they could be counted upon for the agency's most dangerous and delicate operations. Following Jordan Hildebert's temporary retirement from the Spies, Rosales rose through the ranks to become one of the organization's senior agents—and one of its greatest players.

Personal Relationships

As the "Most Vicious Player" of the Spies for all recorded seasons, Rosales is regarded as a rival of similar title holder Jessica Telephone. This rivalry became the subject of much public attention in Season 1, when members of the press reported that both players had stone carvings of each other on their Piety Altars. This continued into Season 2, when photographs of Rosales emerging from an alleyway holding a broken bat and wearing a Philly Pies skirt were published. As standard operating protocol for the Spies dictates, Rosales denies the existence of any relationship, and of themself.

In more recent interviews, Rosales has stated that the previous connection with Telephone—which they maintain did not exist—has ended. Rumors suggest that once Rosales and Telephone's rivalry on the field ended, especially with the dissolution of the Evil League at the end of Season 5, Rosales lost interest, as if it was the competition itself that drove their connection. "Rosales doesn't know how to say 'I love you' without a 105-mile-per-hour fastball attached," said one source close to the subject.

Whatever the truth may be, rumors of brief romantic flings tend to follow Rosales.


A Short Story on Alexandria Rosales

Space twists. Dimensions shiver. Something new springs forth. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-87.445 out of its Rumor Registry...

True Name

Though the details of the incident that led the Spies to recruiting Rosales are classified, at least one eyewitness report suggests that, on the moment of the sword's activation, the blade began to glow with inscribed runes. These runes spelled Alexandria Rosales—the name they chose for themself—in a forgotten tongue. Despite the language being long dead, anyone who looks upon the runes knows for certain that they spell Rosales's chosen, true name, and that no other name will suit.


Fan Works