Holden Milk

Holden Milk
Holden Milk Tlopps card, template by @shenaniglenn
Affiliation	Charleston Shoe Thieves
Title	Chief Marine Biologist and Legal Advisor
Species	Held Milk

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Holden Milk is a bunch of milk that is held in the cupped hands of 4-10 people. They are the current Chief Marine Biologist and Legal Advisor of the Charleston Shoe Thieves.

Not much is known about Milk or how it operates, but when the people holding it are exhausted it seems to exert a psychic pull on nearby hand-having entities. Milk is so often surrounded by these people that they cannot be seen, and the ritual for shifting Milk into the hands of new participants has not been properly observed. They seem to speak through their handlers, as when asked of themself, it's the handlers who will respond, referring to Milk in first person.

Former Milk holders have reported consistently sweating milk from their hands for extended periods of time. It is unknown how long the milksweat lasts, though it should be noted that there have been no reports of the sweat ever ceasing.

Additionally, Milk often drips but never seems to run out. On first glance, things that Holden has dripped upon don’t seem to be any different. However, some closer studies of drip-targets have shown that they have experienced rapid bone-growth, greatly increasing structural integrity. Bystanders report grass feeling "crunchy" on blaseball fields that Holden Milk has recently walked through in performing their various duties.

Holden Milk has not yet been observed participating in a game of blaseball, but it is widely presumed that if they did they would certainly be an above average, average, or below average player. Milk's handlers insist that the former is the case, stating "[They] would definitely be a 7-star player." This is reflected in the Tlopps card Milk made for themself.

Milk is primarily responsible for the Shoe Thieves policy of never setting foot in court, and their expert legal strategy has made the thieves impossible to convict.

They specialize in stealing slip-on shoes, though nearby thieves are often tempted by the multiple pairs Milk's handlers tend to wear, which keeps Milk's net gain of shoes in the negative.

Err: Missing Format Argument

This IRM is missing a valid format argument. Please set format to filebox, dimensions, concept, vignette, lens, replica, or summary in the template call. If this IRM previously contained rumors they can be viewed in the Rumor Registry. Please propose a format on the Talk page.

,

Gallery

• 

  Holden Milk Tlopps card, template by @shenaniglenn