Evelton McBlase II
Evelton McBlase II is a pitcher for the Broken Ridge Jazz Hands, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. McBlase II has played for the Houston Spies, Hawai'i Fridays, Baltimore Crabs, Core Mechanics, Chicago Firefighters, Yellowstone Magic, Tokyo Lift, Mexico City Wild Wings, and New York Millennials.
Official League Records
McBlase II joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Houston Spies during the Season β6 elections via the Party Line blessing, which created a clone of Hawai'i Fridays player Evelton McBlase and sent Donia Bailey to the Shadows. McBlase II then immediately became a lineup player via the The Best Offense blessing.
On Season β20, Day 78, McBlase II was swept and gained the Negative modification as a result of Nandy Slumps's Undertaker modification. During the Season β20 elections, McBlase II wandered to the Mexico City Wild Wings due to the Roamin' modification.
McBlase II was traded to the Baltimore Crabs in exchange for Fran Beans during the Season β21 elections via the Wild Wings' Equivalent Exchange will. They then wandered to the New York Millennials due to the Roamin' modification.
On Season β22, Day 74, McBlase II retreated to the Millennials' Shadows in exchange for Andrew Solis at New York, New York Arena, Arena via the Ratified Voicemail. On Day 100, McBlase II joined the Millennials' pitching rotation in exchange for Anathema Elemefayo as a result of New York, New York Arena, Arena's Fax Machine.
Over the course of Season β23, McBlase II entered and exited the Millennials' Shadows two times as a result of New York, New York Arena, Arena Fax Machine events, ending the Season on the pitching rotation.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Box of Evelton McBlase II Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-45.921 and start reading...
On the day of the Season β6 election, Evelton McBlase, who was taking a stroll along the beach at the time, was observed to suddenly widen to his left. When his head was of an appropriate size to look like two blaseball blases glued together rather than the usual one, a pair of eyes were seen to suddenly open. Then, there was an instant in which everyone in the world blinked at the same time, and when everyone's eyes were open again, there was an (almost) identical McBlase, however without a blaseball cap, standing to McBlase's left. Unfortunately, before the new McBlase could be given the usual Fridays welcome of having a cold one to crack open with the boys, girls, good girls, birds, trees, and otherwise disposed, an unknown member of the Houston Spies was lowered in, grabbed the new McBlase, and was airlifted away. While he was eventually returned to the Fridays in later seasons it is unclear, as many things are with the Spies, what exactly occurred while he was away.
Nonetheless McBlase II's return was met with the same chill vibes that we have all come to expect from the Friday's legendary hospitality despite the occasional trail of black ichor that seem to follow him on the rare times he managed to run the bases.
Trade to the Baltimore Crabs
McBlase II has claimed that the Season β10 People's Champions trade for themselves, Baldwin Breadwinner, and Bevan Underbuck was part of an scheme to "steal ascension" from the Baltimore Crabs. While no other reports from the Hawaii Fridays have backed this up as an intentional plan, it is clear that the trade did take place from the presence of Nagomi McDaniel, Sutton Dreamy, and Montgomery Bullock (and Bontgomery Mullock) in the ILB even as the Crabs were called up.
From the Telescope
While it is unclear exactly what happened in the Big Leagues, Baltimorean telescope watchers reported catching glimpses of McBlase II developing a fascination with the process of carcinization, though notably they seem to have decided they wish to use it to become an eel. Based on our current understanding of Carcinization it is unclear if that is possible, but the Crabs' resident cultural and biological anthropologist Pedro Davids has gone on the record to say that his idea is, "theoretically possible, but I hate it and if Evelton asks me to be their sidekick one more time I'm going to throw them into Chesapeake Bay myself so they can figure it out on their own".
Trade to the Core Mechanics
After the Season 13 election, McBlase II was last seen floating in the Chesapeake Bay, notably failing to carcinize. Several days later, fishermen in the Core caught McBlase II as bycatch. The Mechanics were subsequently assigned to monitor McBlase II for any "evil activities" and "delayed transformations into an eel and/or crab."
On the Firefighters
After four seasons on the Core Mechanics, McBlase II Roamed away from them and spent Season β18 with the Chicago Firefighters. McBlase II was eager to test their latest invention, the Unflamethrower, a device that ejects a stream of Unfire to extinguish fires. Undeterred by comments from their new teammates such as "isn't that just a fire extinguisher," McBlase II proceeded to put out fires with a frequency that matched the most zealous of the Firefighters.
However, as was noted by Chicago news reports, McBlase II seemed only to be putting out fires that weren't in need of extinguishing, including but not limited to beach party bonfires, backyard barbecues, and the pilot lights of stoves in numerous Chicago homes.
The most infamous accomplishment during their time with the Firefighters was when McBlase II extinguished the Solympic Flame as it was being carried to signal the start of the Hellmouth Sunbeams regular season. The head of PR for the Firefighters was unable to be reached for comment about this incident, nor any of the other incidents, due to the Firefighters being busy hosting Party Time as mandated by the ILB.
Declaring their new invention a success, McBlase II Roamed away from the Firefighters during the Season 18 elections.
On the Magic
During Season 19, McBlase II played for the Yellowstone Magic. At the end of the season, they were traded.
On the Lift
McBlase II played for the Tokyo Lift during Season 20, and spent the siesta immediately following the Season 20 Elections creating and refining her many nefarious inventions. Chief among them was an old invention they had once created to pass the time while Ascended with the Crabs: the "Ray Gun that trans your gender." The Ray Gun’s only previous subject, Forrest Best, had claimed it worked perfectly and seasons later, McBlase II tried it for herself. She, like Best, claimed it worked perfectly. At the end of the season, she Roamed.
On the Wild Wings
McBlase II played for the Wild Wings during Season 21.
On the Crabs
McBlase II was traded to the Baltimore Crabs at the end of Season 21. Upon arriving, they were reminded of the multiple rivalries, half finished evil science machines, and active warrants waiting for them in Baltimore. McBlase II quickly roamed away to make their exit, though they did receive a “Sorry we missed you” card from Pedro Davids which McBlase II (correctly) took to be a threat.
On the Millennials
McBlase II has stated that she came to New York for two reasons; first, that “it wasn’t Baltimore”, and second that “all the best supervillains went to New York at some point!” However, some have speculated that New York City’s reputation as a place people come to start over played a role in her Roam as well.
Whatever the reasons, at the end of Season 21 McBlase II arrived at the Apartment, declared herself a new member of the team, and immediately took the last eggs from the Apartment fridge to use in a “super-chicken experiment”.
McBlase II proceeded to wreak havoc, as was her wont. Initially, she offered to weaponize the Apartment, but after Patty Fox politely yet firmly denied, she released a quantity of eels into the Apartment plumbing. It is currently unclear whether this was out of revenge or just because she wanted to.
Despite her shenaniganry, McBlase II seemed to thrive on the Millennials. She bonded quickly with Mullen Peterson, whose engineering know-how and level-headed demeanor provided a good counterbalance to McBlase II’s large and explosive plans, and during her time in the Millennials’ Shadows befriended Charlatan Seabright, who gave her a crash course in both makeup and piracy. Despite some initial awkwardness with former Spy Andrew Solis, tensions lessened considerably when Solis reminded McBlase II he had left the Spies long before her creation, and had no more preexisting bias against her than any of the other Millennials.
When asked if McBlase II’s villainous schemes had been disruptive to the team, Mills player Conrad Vaughan said “Oh, Eve’s really a sweetie when you get down to it! And her ‘machinations’ are actually kind of helpful sometimes.” Theodore Cervantes added that “We will not shun Eve for her machinations, and in return we ask only that she deal with the consequences herself. This arrangement is working nicely.”
As the Season 22 Elections approached, many assumed McBlase II would again Roam away. However, for the first time since Season 17, McBlase II didn’t leave. She has stated that she “just sort of liked it here”, although an anonymous tip suggested that the Millennials had insisted she not leave until she cleared all the eels out of the plumbing.
Whatever the reason, Evelton McBlase II stayed with the Millennials for an additional two seasons, and was with them when the Black Hole(Black Hole) arrived.
Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
Art by @glassgoblin
Art by @corpserevivers
Evelton behind their mask, art by @corpserevivers
Eve and the Broken Ridge by Cori
A Tlopps card of Evelton McBlase II, by @VoxiSour.
Eve by Cori
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