Kennedy Loser

From Blaseball Wiki

Kennedy Loser is a player for the Mexico City Wild Wings, and has been with the team since Season 1, Day 19. Loser has previously played for the Baltimore Crabs.

Official League Records

Loser is perhaps best known for their home run in the 20th inning that brought the Crabs to an 8-6 victory over the Breckenridge Jazz Hands on day 52 of Blaseball Season β2.

During the Season β5 election, Loser received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations, Falling Stars, and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season β10, Day X, Loser gained the Flinch modification after the Crabs lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.

During the Season β12 elections, Loser's defense was increased by 3.2 3.9 as a result of the Crabs' The Rack blessing.

On Season β13, Day 89, Loser became Reverberating due to Reverb weather.

During the Season β15 elections, Loser's Flinch modification was changed into the Haunted modification by the Crabs' Reform will.

During the Season β22 elections, Loser became an Alternate and gained the Negative modification due to the Handful Alternate Trust blessing.

On Season 1, Day 19, Loser fell to the Mexico City Wild Wings during a game in Horizon (weather) weather, becoming Buried.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Kennedy Loser Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-121.90 and start reading...

In Literature

Crabs poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following poem about Loser's most famous game:

The score was tied, and the time was dire
When Kennedy Loser grabbed his bat.
We shouted his name, a chaotic choir,
As he rose from the dugout and doffed his hat,
He took a step, tripped, and fell down flat.
And at this sign, we all sighed and knew
This game might never end, and also that
This man was a loser, through and through.

The inning was twenty, the hour ticking down,
And Kennedy wiped his hands on his pants.
He minced to the plate, his face in a frown,
He tested his swing and his feet did a dance.
He stared at the pitcher, awaiting his chance,
Then, just incredible! He tumbled to!
He had fallen again, and lay there askance.
This man was a loser, through and through

There were two outs, and a man on first base,
As Kennedy pushed himself to his feet.
Our hopes were dismal as he took his place,
And everyone said he looked slightly beat.
He stood like a stone; felt the first fastball’s heat,
“Strike one!” We all heard. And then a “Strike two!”
He looked gone and lost, like he couldn’t compete;
This man was a loser, through and through.

A double spillover? We looked at the clock.
Kennedy readjusted, tense but unbowed,
And met the next pitch with a titanic knock.
The ball raced away, disappeared in a cloud,
And Kennedy turned and spoke to the crowd
“Ask not what Mother Crab can do for you!”
Then he rounded the bases, beaming and proud.
This Loser a winner, through and through.

Fan Art