Squid Galvanic

From Blaseball Wiki

Squid Galvanic was a player in the Shadows for the Baltimore Crabs, and was with the team from the Season β9 Endseason until Fall Ball.

Official League Records

Galvanic joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Baltimore Crabs as the Crabs' Season β9 Playoff Birth.

Galvanic joined the Crabs' lineup during the Descension.

During the Season β12 elections, Galvanic's defense was increased by 3.5 4.2 as a result of the Crabs' The Rack blessing.

During the Season β15 elections, Galvanic retreated to the Crabs' Shadows as a result of the Crabs' Move will, resulting in a combined 11.1 12.1 stat increase.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Squid Galvanic Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-23.354 and start reading...

Personal Life

Squid Galvanic is a “mervampire,” a vampire from the waist up and a vampire squid from the waist down. While out of water, it uses what it describes as “cool vampire powers” to float above the ground, visually appearing as if it is underwater. It is never seen without some sort of dad-adjacent unbuttoned button-up or jean jacket, as it is also never seen wearing a shirt.

Galvanic has redirected most questions about its history before coming Down with the rest of its team. When asked, they chose instead to say “I was in the shadows,” or, on the occasion that a reporter was rude to them, “dating your mom,” in a notably cheerful tone of voice. However, according to conversations it had with Finn James overheard by Baltimore citizens by the Bay, Galvanic did not exist before its playoff birth, and had never seen Baltimore before the Crabs came down.

Galvanic does not have an apartment; instead, they have taken up permanent residence inside of the Crabitat alongside Jacoby Podcast, inside one of the several rooms meant for standing defense.

Relationship to the Baltimore Crabs

Galvanic got off on a rough foot with the Crabs, having told them to “████ off” on behalf of someone in the Shadows that it refused to name, or perhaps couldn’t. However, due to its anxious apologies and the respect for, quote, “going through with it,” it was quickly brushed off.

It has been seen most often in public swimming with Finn, both enjoying the opportunity to have a friend to swim with in water that is incredibly toxic to most others. On occasion, they have used their combined abilities to scare others in the Crabs, including one instance involving Forrest Best that all of them refuse to acknowledge happened. Galvanic has also been seen with Luis Acevedo, after several plays to score involving them both and Galvanic being informed of Luis’ vampiric nature. Both of them have been spotted exploring Baltimore, sometimes accompanied by Parker Parra, who “wants to show them all the places with good 5D reception.”

Relationship with Jacoby Podcast

Galvanic and Jacoby Podcast are close friends, both having known each other from the Shadows. It has previously expressed relief that Podcast was “able to get out into active play too,” soon after the Season 12 Elections. In some of Podcast’s tapes from the Shadows released to the public, Galvanic’s voice can clearly be heard amongst two other, incomprehensible ones, laughing after some prank or making bright comments about the pitcher’s performance.

When asked about Podcast’s performance now that they’re in active play, Galvanic told reporters that it “would never say anything bad about their performance, and has never done so, ever, in [its] life,” much to the fond annoyance of Podcast, who was sitting right next to it and told reporters that it was “absolutely lying, the ███████.”

Player Chants

  • You're a Squid now (when doing well)
  • You're a Kid now (when doing poorly)
  • Don't worry about it (regardless of performance)

Fan Works