Sixpack Dogwalker

From Blaseball Wiki

Sixpack Dogwalker was a player for the Philly Pies, and was with the team from Fall Ball until being Alternated and replaced by a player from the Static. Dogwalker has previously played for the Hawai'i Fridays, Dallas Steaks, and Canada Moist Talkers.

Official League Records


Dogwalker joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Hawai'i Fridays on Season β4, Day 86 after the incineration of Thomas England.

Bangers & Smash

See the main article on this topic: The Waveback Event#Death & Rebirth of Sixpack Dogwalker

Following The Waveback Event on Season 4, Day 88 (only two days after joining the League), Dogwalker began wielding the unique bat Bangers & Smash — the first of its kind to not be granted by a blessing. Additionally, Dogwalker's pre-game ritual was updated to "Talking to the Microphone," which is the first in-game mention of The Microphone as a character.

Discipline Era

On Season β5, Day 6, Dogwalker became a pitcher due to Reverb.

At the conclusion of Season β8, Dogwalker was 18th on the Idol leaderboard, in a Feedback position. Dogwalker now has the Modifications Receiver and Flickering, and their Ritual changed in quick succession:

hi friends
it is Wyatt
I have a plan

During the Season β9 Preseason, Sixpack's Ritual changed twice more:

Time for Phase Two

The ritual then returned back to "I have a plan".

On Season β9, Day 69, Dogwalker was exchanged to the Dallas Steaks due to Feedback. Dogwalker was replaced by Gabriel Griffith.

During the Coffee Cup, Dogwalker played for Macchiato City as a lineup player.

Expansion Era

On Season β15, Day 70, Dogwalker became  SHELLED due to receiving an echo from Wyatt Mason X. However, Dogwalker was already pitching that game, and continued to do so, making Dogwalker, along with Mason X (who continued the at-bat after the echo) the first players to do anything other than field while  SHELLED. Dogwalker was traded to the Canada Moist Talkers in exchange for PolkaDot Patterson during the Season β15 elections via the Steaks' Plunder will.

During the Season β16 elections, Dogwalker retreated to the Moist Talkers' Shadows in exchange for Augusto Reddick as a result of the Moist Talkers' Foreshadow will, resulting in a combined 9.2 9.8 stat increase.

During the Season β21 elections, Dogwalker Evolved to Base 1 as a result of the Shadow Evolution blessing.

Fall Ball

During the December 16, 2022 Fall Ball, Dogwalker fell to the Philly Pies.

On January 9, 2023, upon the reopening of the site, it was revealed that, being a Receiver who fell to an Entangled team, Dogwalker had been alternated and subsequently replaced with Static charge Dimi Wobbler. Prior to this, her coffee style and blood type were the last part of her player page that had gone unchanged from Thomas England's.

Personal Life

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Some Fridays fans have described Dogwalker as a "conglomodog," or a conglomeration of dogs, dogs, dogs. No one has been able to describe Dogwalker the same way twice, as Dogwalker's appearance seems to change whenever you look at her. Notably, York Silk claims he sees the same dogs every time, but when asked to describe her, reporters only hear static. Baldwin Breadwinner says she can understand Silk just fine, but the description does not match what she sees when looking at Dogwalker. Breadwinner also refuses to relay Silk's description, saying, "I ain't no snitch."

Per Hawaiian Klennel Cllub rules, the individual splortsdogs comprising Dogwalker have registered show names and breed information, as follows:

  • Reis Plumbife (Cocker Daniel)
  • Chawin' Tom (Great Albertine)
  • Mister Mister Mister (White Chocolate Mendez)
  • Eoin Perlmutter (Lesser Coyhowler)
  • His Duchess Goodlad Unitary III (Maltese)
  • Margaritas Baby! (Chicanery Retriever)

The conglomeration identifies as bisexual in aggregate and is a Very Good Girls. Though Dogwalker is generally called a "dogs" rather than "dog," and other descriptor nouns used to describe her are, similarly, always plural, she is always referred to by singular grammar.

Dallas Steaks management didn't expect Dogwalker to stay on the team long. Philomena A. Minyon explained to the press that taking care of a conglomodog was a lot of responsibility, especially one prone to flickering through walls. In response, someone asked Dogwalker to "Sit!" so she did. Dogwalker is often seen enjoying ribs, ham hocks, roast duck, brisket, tri-tips, and fresh bell peppers from Adams's.

Bangers & Smash

Sixpack Dogwalker wields a special bat named Bangers & Smash. Shortly after the game ended on Day 86, wherein Thomas England was incinerated and Dogwalker appeared, the spacetime continuum broke. Godwalker says she didn't notice anything, even though when the day started at Day 88, she was now holding what appeared to be Thomas England's still-flaming femur. Dogwalker has been reported to growl sternly at anyone who tries to take her bone away.

After Dogwalker became a Receiver and Flickering at the end of Season β8, observers noticed that Bangers & Smash began to flicker and produce messages, possibly from the Microphone. Wherever her bone would flicker to, Dogwalker would chase after.

Fan Works