Fran Beans

From Blaseball Wiki

Fran Beans is a lineup player for the Mexico City Wild Wings, and has been with the team since the Season 21 elections. Beans has played for the Baltimore Crabs.

Official League Records

Beans joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Mexico City Wild Wings with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season 9 elections, Beans joined the Wild Wings' lineup in exchange for Kennedy Meh as a result of the Disappearing Acts blessing.

During the Season 12 elections, Beans received the Flippers modification due to the Wild Wings' Trust will.

Beans was traded to the Baltimore Crabs in exchange for Trinity Smaht during the Season 19 elections via the Crabs' Equivalent Exchange will.

Beans was traded back to the Mexico City Wild Wings in exchange for Evelton McBlase II during the Season 21 elections via the Wild Wings' Equivalent Exchange will, entering the Shadows.

On Season 22, Day 73, Beans joined the Wild Wings' rotation in exchange for Burke Gonzales via Basin of Mexico Park's Fax Machine.

Over the course of Season 23, Beans entered and exited the Wild Wings' Shadows four times as a result of Basin of Mexico Park Fax Machine and Voicemail events, ending the Season on the lineup.

History

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The day that Francisca K. Beans would show up in the Wild Wings clubhouse as a full member of the team was viewed as an inevitability by many. Despite a lucrative previous career as a Legal Team bodyguard, Beans's exceptional performance on the Legal Team's underleague blaseball team combined with her unshakeable love for the splort meant that it was not a question of if Fran would step onto the field, but rather a question of when.

One of Beans's most notable traits is her massive collection of various swords, carried with her at all times in a glolf bag slung over her shoulder. Each game, Beans selects what she considers the most ideal sword to bat with based on a long and obscure list of conditions that none of her teammates can comprehend—although quite often, she will simply discard all other options in favor of the largest sword on hand. Beans will then integrate her chosen sword fully into her arm.

Although Beans's status as a one-woman armory is very useful in the event of any unexpected sword duels, the incredible weight of all the swords she refuses to ever put down makes her a somewhat ineffective baserunner.

During games, Beans's cybernetic arms are often seen crackling with excess electricity due to the fact that before every game, she will plug them into the nearest electrical socket to siphon as much electricity into them as possible. This process of "charging" her arms appears to be a somewhat effective strategy—not only does it increase the power of her swing, but her metallic sword-bat also functions as an effective conduit for spare electricity. Beans's electrical hits will often result in the complete obliteration of the blaseball she’s trying to hit. This often results in an inside-the-park home run, as despite Beans's poor baserunning, the other team's fielders are unable to collect all of the charred scraps of the ball scattered all over the field in time to prevent her from running all the bases.

Due to her lack of taste buds, Beans is one of very few players in Blaseball who has drank Rafael Davids's infamous pitching juice without any adverse effects. She claims that her favorite food is beans because they are named after her and that the texture is "okay, I guess."  Her second favorite food is club sandwiches—not because of any real food preference, but because she once got served a club sandwich that contained a plastic toothpick shaped like a sword.

After the death of Case Sports, Beans withdrew into herself significantly. Despite taking a leadership role on the Wings Legal team, Beans was not often seen by her colleagues or teammates until she returned one night with Sports' signature briefcase welded to her arm. Faced with the many roster changes on the Wild Wings in a short time span, she found herself all at once stuck in place and adrift from the team she knew. In the Season 19 election, on a fluke, she was traded with Trinity Smaht of the Baltimore Crabs, and she was forced to start over again in Baltimore.

The Baltimore Crabs

Still recovering from a tumultuous few seasons with the Wings, Beans was not eager to adapt to a new life in Baltimore, however she was forced to adapt to the changing needs of her prosthetics due to the increased cold, salt, and Old Bay present in Baltimore. To assist with this, teammate, mechanic, and artist Zeruel Kramer spent many hours with Beans while explaining options for treating existing parts and mechanisms, adding plating to protect against the elements, and occasionally pitching cosmetic alterations, all of which Beans turned down. Despite that, the two of them could often be found in the Crabitat’s smithy together, with Kramer explaining zer latest project while Beans worked quietly on her newest sword. Kramer never asked about the briefcase.

The death of Sports still weighing heavily on her, Beans made a noticeable effort to avoid the team’s Haunted player, Kennedy Loser. Despite her attempts however things came to a head when Case Sports haunted Loser during a game forcing the issue. It’s unknown exactly what happened but records show that while Sports struck out, Beans was able to score that inning with assistance from both Kramer and Enid Marlow. After the game Beans was found in the smithy working on a new sword, this time using the cracked carapace of the Olde One herself. The sword she made was brittle, sharp, and imposing, and she used it to cut free of the chain she had used to weld Sports' briefcase to her.

Relationships

Fran Beans has a long history with the Wild Wings and has several significant relationships.

She attended law school with fellow Wild Wing Brock Watson, and the two have matching tattoos of a snake on their arms to commemorate their friendship.

Most importantly Beans had a long lasting friendship with deceased teammate Case Sports, having referred to them as her "Platonic Soulmate".

Fan Works