Official League Records
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Box of Nora Perez Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-66.804 and start reading...
The Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper immortalized Perez in his famous poem "Perez at the Bat":
There is a place called Mudville
In B'More's Crabitat
Where players sit and wait until
They get a chance to bat.
And from those soggy dugout seats
Rose Nora—"The Perez"
She slowly dusted off her cleats
Then screamed, the story says.
Her battle cry was felt all 'round,
And fans raised pincers high.
She stamped her foot upon the ground,
Then looked out to the sky.
The sun was blotted, black and dark,
And shadows bathed the bleachers.
The Discipline had brought this stark
And somber set of features.
But Nora boldly grabbed her bat,
And marched upon the field,
The Crabs were losing; given that
She knew she could not yield.
She passed the umpire by the plate
And glanced into his eyes—
She witnessed boundless depths of hate
And learned her own demise.
She paused to try to understand
What vision she had spied.
She felt a tremor in her hand.
But Nora never cried.
She looked down to the pitcher's mound,
Resolved to see things through.
And though she contemplated death, profound,
Blaseball was all she knew.
The pitch came fast, both high and in
She wasted little time
Her bat swung hard, she hoped to win
A final hit, sublime.
A heavy thwack did echo out
The ball floated away.
The fans all rose to give a shout.
It sailed into the bay.
She dropped her bat, began to trot
Then looked over her shoulder
And saw the umpire, eyes white hot
His body all a smolder.
There was flash, the crowd went mute,
And from the murky harbor deep,
A great crab rose, gave a salute,
And honored Nora's final sweep.
Oh, somewhere in some universe
The sun is shining bright,
The Crabs are not under a curse,
and somewhere hearts are light;
Forbidden books lie closed somewhere,
Despite our base desire.
But there is no joy in Mudville—
The mighty Perez has been incinerated by a rogue umpire.
Art by @glassgoblin
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