Michelle Sportsman

From Blaseball Wiki

Michelle Sportsman is a pitcher for the Seattle Garages, and has been with the team since the Season 22 elections. Sportsman has played for the LA Unlimited Tacos, Kansas City Breath Mints, and Baltimore Crabs.

Official League Records

Sportsman joined the ILB as a lineup player in the Shadows for the LA Unlimited Tacos as the Tacos' Season 11 Playoff Birth.

On Season 18, Day 3, Sportsman joined the Tacos' active roster in exchange for Fish Summer as a result of Al Pastor Memorial Park's Fax Machine.

During the Season 19 elections, Sportsman gained the Underhanded modification as a result of the Underhanded blessing.

Sportsman was traded to the Kansas City Breath Mints in exchange for Lucas Petty during the Season 21 elections via the Breath Mints' Equivalent Exchange will.

Sportsman was traded to the Baltimore Crabs in exchange for Jon Halifax during the Season 22 elections via the Crabs' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process. Sportsman was then immediately traded to the Seattle Garages in exchange for Fairwood Patchwork via the Breath Mints' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher again in the process.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Michelle Sportsman is a British-Indian immigrant with a storied career in other splorts. Sportsman originally joined the Tacos in a coaching role, and after many seasons of the Tacos’ poor performance in blaseball, her background in physical therapy and coaching techniques has led to improved performance from the team. She is often seen disagreeing with Tacos’ team captain Mcdowell Mason during practices, though not on gamedays.

Sportsman is usually found wearing team issued tracksuits. She has perfect posture. Her teammates occasionally call her “team mom” as she tries to ensure each member of the team gets adequate rest and recovery. It is rumoured that her treatments have been a factor in the improved performances of Basilio Mason, Rat Mason, Yummy Elliott and Wyatt Mason IV.

Journalist Notes

The following is an excerpt from a handwritten draft of an article by an unknown journalist, found discarded near Al Pastor Memorial Park during the Offseason before Season 18:

rude to scare our guests like that!” she said. “Funny, though,” Vito Kravitz said, and pulled his signature sunglasses from somewhere and put them on as he walked off. When my heart finally stopped racing, I thanked Michelle Sportsman for her time. As I headed out, she’d already started talking to Rat Batson and Basilio Mason about adjusting the fit on Yummy Elliott’s uniform to give zir better range of motion.

Fan Works