Michelle Sportsman

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Michelle Sportsman was a pitcher for the Seattle Garages, and was with the team from the Season β22 elections until Fall Ball. Sportsman has played for the LA Unlimited Tacos, Kansas City Breath Mints, and Baltimore Crabs.

Official League Records

Sportsman joined the ILB as a lineup player in the Shadows for the LA Unlimited Tacos as the Tacos' Season β11 Playoff Birth.

On Season β18, Day 3, Sportsman joined the Tacos' active roster in exchange for Fish Summer as a result of Al Pastor Memorial Park's Fax Machine.

During the Season β19 elections, Sportsman gained the Underhanded modification as a result of the Underhanded blessing.

Sportsman was traded to the Kansas City Breath Mints in exchange for Lucas Petty during the Season β21 elections via the Breath Mints' Equivalent Exchange will.

Sportsman was traded to the Baltimore Crabs in exchange for Jon Halifax during the Season β22 elections via the Crabs' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process. Sportsman was then immediately traded to the Seattle Garages in exchange for Fairwood Patchwork via the Breath Mints' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher again in the process.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Michelle Sportsman is a British-Indian immigrant with a storied career in other splorts. Sportsman originally joined the Tacos in a coaching role, and after many seasons of the Tacos’ poor performance in blaseball, her background in physical therapy and coaching techniques has led to improved performance from the team. She is often seen disagreeing with Tacos’ team captain Mcdowell Mason during practices, though not on gamedays.

Sportsman is usually found wearing team issued tracksuits. She has perfect posture. Her teammates occasionally call her “team mom” as she tries to ensure each member of the team gets adequate rest and recovery. It is rumoured that her treatments have been a factor in the improved performances of Basilio Mason, Rat Mason, Yummy Elliott and Wyatt Mason IV.

Journalist Notes

The following is an excerpt from a handwritten draft of an article by an unknown journalist, found discarded near Al Pastor Memorial Park during the Offseason before Season β18:

Who is Michelle Sportsman? That’s the question I set out to answer when I donned my third-best splort coat and grabbed a bus to Al Pastor Memorial Park this morning. Little did I know that I would end up ☁☁☁☁☁.

❥❥☁☁❥❥ was (is?) the physical therapist for the LA Unlimited Tacos. During the Grand Siesta, she started practicing with the team as well. As far as I can tell, she wasn’t recruited by the infamous but reclusive Al Pastor, but joined the team willingly, which makes her an outlier among the Tacos. I first saw Sportsman during a Lateseason 17 game, when she was in the bullpen talking very intently with Mcdowell Mason about something. She was standing with a player I’d never seen before, and am still not sure was ✹✹✹✹✹ gesturing at the newly-installed Fax Machine. M. Mason shrugged and walked out to the field, and that half-visible player relieved Yummy Elliott at the pitcher’s mound an inning later. I think. It’s all rather vague in my memory, to be entirely honest, except for Sportsman, who was dressed in an impeccably-tailored tracksuit in Tacos colors.

Fan Works