Axel Trololol

From Blaseball Wiki

Axel Trololol was a player for the Kansas City Breath Mints, Chicago Firefighters, Baltimore Crabs, THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS, and The Hall Stars.

Official League Records

Axel Trololol joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Kansas City Breath Mints at the start of Season β1.

Trololol was the recipient of the Season β2 blessing Literal Arm Cannon, maximizing their pitching rating.

Trololol was traded to the Chicago Firefighters in exchange for Atlas Guerra during the Season β3 elections via the Vulture blessing. The Performance Enhancing Demons blessing (awarded to the Firefighters after Trololol's trade) then further increased Trololol's pitching rating.

On Season β5, Day 30, Trololol became a lineup player due to Reverb.

Trololol was traded to the Baltimore Crabs in exchange for Joshua Watson during the Season β5 elections via the The Plan? Pitch from the Plate blessing. This blessing also made Trololol a pitcher again.

On Season β7, Day 66, Trololol siphoned some of Chicago Firefighters pitcher Caleb Alvarado's pitching ability in a game with Blooddrain weather. This made Trololol the best rated pitcher in the ILB at .

After Day 99 of Season 7, Trololol was  SHELLED.

During the events of Season 9, Day X, Trololol was stolen from the Crabs and made the sole pitcher of THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.

During the events of Season 10, Day X, Trololol was repeatedly exchanged between the Hall Stars and THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS due to Feedback caused by Jaylen Hotdogfingers' Fliickerrriiing. Trololol ultimately settled on the Hall Stars, replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers. After The Hall Stars' victory over the PODS, Trololol was Released from Internet League Blaseball.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Axel Trololol Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-66.73 and start reading...

Personal Life

Axel is a self-proclaimed "regular old guy". He likes cars, beer, and hanging with his pals. He has very generic features, some even claim he resembles an amalgamation of every single blaseball player overlain, despite simultaneously being a car. Axel is also known for his prehensile tail and his striking red hair. He is a member of the Flast Family from The Flast and the Flurious movie series.

Axel is the sibling of Charleston Shoe Thieves' batter Stu Trololol.

Cybernetic Enhancements

Following the end of Season β2, Axel Trololol voluntarily underwent cybernetic surgery under the hands of an umpire. When asked to comment on this enhancement, Trololol said "I love cars! I am one step closer to becoming a car! Soon, I will be a car!"

Trade to Chicago Firefighters

Following the end of Season 3, Axel Trololol was stolen by the Chicago Firefighters. Axel was apparently quite pleased with this, as upon entering The Fire House, he realized his true destiny was to become not a regular car, but a firetruck. His jersey number is now Truck 62, reflecting his status as the 62nd firetruck in Chicago.

Axel repurposed his Literal Arm Cannon as a firehose that he uses to both pitch balls and spray down the crowd with Royal Crown Malort. He reportedly said "I am now closer to vehicle than I am to man! I am glad!"

Trade to Baltimore Crabs

After the Firefighter's Season 5 championship, Axel was on cloud nine. He loved the team, but was also ready to move on. Due to some bizarre auditory feedback issues, the Gods were insisting that Axel could not be a pitcher as long as he remained on the Firefighters. After an offer to return to pitching with the Baltimore Crabs, Axel readily accepted and drove the 11 hours from Chicago to Baltimore in one sitting. Once he arrived at the beautiful waters of the Patapsco River, Axel knew he had to get out there. Now he is an amphibious truck boat, sailing free in Baltimore Harbor when he's not pitching wins. Axel reportedly said "I can never die! I am beautiful and love Blaseball! I am a water car!"

In Literature

Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote to following about Trololol:

The fans of blaseball laugh and cry
The whims of Gods are never dull
And all the league did find it wry
When Crabs gained Axel Trololol.

A firefighter, true and true
Dear Axel mourned to leave his team
The Gods forced him to say adieu
To be a pitcher was his dream.

In Crabs he found a ready home
Their joy in water proved their worth
And as a red-shelled truck his chrome
Now glistened with a dewy mirth.

For now he is our honored guest
Until the Gods demand a switch
For Axel’s sake, we’ll try to jest
So long as he’s allowed to pitch.

Fan Works