Axel Trololol

From Blaseball Wiki

Axel Trololol was a player for the Kansas City Breath Mints, Chicago Firefighters, Baltimore Crabs, THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS, and The Hall Stars.

Official League Records

Axel Trololol joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Kansas City Breath Mints at the start of Season β1.

Trololol was the recipient of the Season β2 blessing Literal Arm Cannon, maximizing their pitching rating.

Trololol was traded to the Chicago Firefighters in exchange for Atlas Guerra during the Season β3 elections via the Vulture blessing. The Performance Enhancing Demons blessing (awarded to the Firefighters after Trololol's trade) then further increased Trololol's pitching rating.

On Season β5, Day 30, Trololol became a lineup player due to Reverb.

Trololol was traded to the Baltimore Crabs in exchange for Joshua Watson during the Season β5 elections via the The Plan? Pitch from the Plate blessing. This blessing also made Trololol a pitcher again.

On Season β7, Day 66, Trololol siphoned some of Chicago Firefighters pitcher Caleb Alvarado's pitching ability in a game with Blooddrain weather. This made Trololol the best rated pitcher in the ILB at .

After Day 99 of Season 7, Trololol was  SHELLED.

During the events of Season 9, Day X, Trololol was stolen from the Crabs and made the sole pitcher of THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.

During the events of Season 10, Day X, Trololol was repeatedly exchanged between the Hall Stars and THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS due to Feedback caused by Jaylen Hotdogfingers' Fliickerrriiing. Trololol ultimately settled on the Hall Stars, replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers. After The Hall Stars' victory over the PODS, Trololol was Released from Internet League Blaseball.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Axel Trololol Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-35.529 and start reading...

There are those who hold great power, who wield such power without understanding, unaware of the gravity of their strength or its consequences. They become a danger to themselves and others through ignorance.

Axel Trololol is a different kind of danger. He understands the gravity of his power. He doesn't care.

Team interviews with the Firefighters have had Axel described as "a cannon with a lit fuse, who defers to his teammates' judgment on which direction to be aimed." He appeared quite proud at the description, and followed up with "the trigger was pulled a long time ago." When asked about Axel's relationship to the team after season 6, Kennedy Loser replied, "I think there's a sense of cosmic irony to it all, that we, the crustiest, most bastard team in the league, are tasked to play moral compass to a friggin' nuke. We love Axel, we're glad to have him, blessed even! But it's a little scary sometimes, to stand between him and his goals. We're doubly blessed, then, to be on his good side."

Those goals are still quite murky in the eyes of the public, but given Axel's perpetual tango with chaos, escalation, and immense power, it is practically routine to find him at the heart of any storm that brews over the league.

Personal Life

Nobody is entirely certain of Axel's origins, whether it was an incantation or possession gone wrong, or the forbidden love between a demon and a truck. The earliest written record of him was a newspaper report, "[he's] a toddler, tailed and toothy, breaking and entering into auto body and machine shops throughout Charleston." He was eventually captured and made a ward of the state.

"Happy-go-lucky" was a phrase used to describe him since his earliest days. He often got in fights at the group home, according to employee interviews, coming back inside with missing milkteeth and black eyes smiling like he doesn't even notice. Even in the worst of circumstance, Axel has always just been happy to be here.

Reports state that Axel and sibling Stu Trololol were inseparable as kids, and were eventually adopted together. When asked about Axel's early life, Stu deflected, saying "it was a rough time for both of us. We looked out for each other...the rest isn't my place to say." Both were scouted for blaseball early on, pitching in the local underleagues and forming a friendly rivalry of sorts, that Stu has repeatedly said she doesn't really care about as much as the excuse to spend time with her brother. Axel was kicked out of his team due to allegations of using Nitrous Oxide while pitching, though the investigation was quickly swept under the rug. He did make it to the Internet League, however, by moving to Kansas City because their insurance plan would cover his constant cybernetic surgeries.

Blaseball Career

Axel has continually sought radical self modifications throughout his tenure in the Internet League. He believes that restriction breeds creativity, and has encased himself in layers of chassis, hydraulic limbs, entire additional vehicles of various make, and so on, so that he may think up ways to overcome every obstacle he puts before himself. He explained in interviews that he has replaced every shred of vestigial flesh with machine, "restraints to contain his intrinsic power." Even though his original body is completely gone, even with his entire physical form designed to hinder himself with a malice, he still cannot be contained, and the body yet moves. And moves fast.

Despite being one of the highest ranked pitchers in the league, he is actually ranked very low in strikeout percentage, as he enjoys the art of making esoteric lobs at the batter to gauge their reactions, "just to see what will happen." Batting against Trololol has been described as less a test of skill and more a complex psychological war across the no-man's-land of his throwing range. Even batters who get walked often feel like they somehow lost that war. They trudge to first with shoulders slumped and eyes staring into space, and break down into tears on the plate.

When Axel was first spared from shelling after season 6, ranking just beneath the deciding line on the idol board, he was reportedly excited for the future of blaseball. "Up until now, the only person who could stop me has been myself," he said, "this prison may be the only thing that could pose a challenge to me, and I intend to try." The following season, fans treated his trajectory towards the peanut as inevitable, and strove to work around him to conduct the Snackrifice, rather than fight him head on. Since then, Axel has, as far as can be observed, been successfully restrained. When asked for comment, the Baltimore Crabs have repeated the belief that he is probably having the time of his life in there trying to think up ways to break free of the shell, plotting how to completely dismantle everything standing in his way in whatever way feels most interesting to him.

"It's more of a time bomb, wondering what ideas have been brewing in his head without us to temper them. Without a guiding hand to keep him from doing serious damage. I'm just glad he's still here and didn't get poached by another team again. We're used to him, you know? I don't know if I could trust another team to know all the best ways to guide him in the right direction. He's been agreeable, he's always agreeable, you know? Happy-go-lucky Axel just here to have a chill time and try new things, but...I just hope when he comes out of there, he's just gonna still, you know, be happy to be here, with us. That the bridges we've maintained didn't fall apart all this time, and he'll be disconnected from the people who try and point him in the best direction. That he'll still see the Crabs as family like we see him."

In Literature

Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote to following about Trololol:

The fans of blaseball laugh and cry
The whims of Gods are never dull
And all the league did find it wry
When Crabs gained Axel Trololol.

A firefighter, true and true
Dear Axel mourned to leave his team
The Gods forced him to say adieu
To be a pitcher was his dream.

In Crabs he found a ready home
Their joy in water proved their worth
And as a red-shelled truck his chrome
Now glistened with a dewy mirth.

For now he is our honored guest
Until the Gods demand a switch
For Axel’s sake, we’ll try to jest
So long as he’s allowed to pitch.

Fan Works