Parker Parra

From Blaseball Wiki

Parker Parra is a player for the Chicago Firefighters, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Parra has played for the Baltimore Crabs, Boston Flowers, and Seattle Garages.

Official League Records

Parra joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Baltimore Crabs with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season β5 elections, Parra received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season β10, Day X, Parra gained the Flinch modification after the Crabs lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS. Due to the Crabs' Ascension, Parra was absent from the ILB from the Season β10 elections until the Descension.

During the Season β12 elections, Parra's defense was increased by 2.8 3.7 as a result of the Crabs' The Rack blessing.

Parra was traded to the Boston Flowers in exchange for Nagomi Mcdaniel during the Season β14 elections via the Crabs' Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

Parra was traded back to the Baltimore Crabs in exchange for Brock Forbes during the Season β15 elections via the Flowers' Equivalent Exchange will.

On Season β17, Day 77, Parra retreated to the Crabs' Shadows in exchange for Lorcan Smaht as a result of Chesapeake Racetrack and Ballpark's Fax Machine.

During the Season β18 elections, Parra's batting increased 2.8 4 due to the Crabs' Shadow Infuse will.

Parra was traded to the Seattle Garages' Shadows with no replacement during the Season β22 elections via the Gachapon blessing.

During the Season β23 elections, Parra received a combined stat change of 14.5 15.9 as a result of the Season 1: Booster Pack blessing.

On Season β24, Day 4, Parra joined the Garages' lineup in exchange for Abner Pothos at The Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the November 25, 2022 Fall Ball, Parra fell to the Chicago Firefighters.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Parker Parra Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-208.20 and start reading...

In The Tabloids

Now defunct Baltimore based Blaseball Tabloid magazine "Shells Cracked" ran a supposedly in-depth article Titled "You won't BELIEVE what Parker Parra does in their spare time!" about Parker Parra on their personal life. This article, written by Camilla R.A. Bubblegum, included the following things:

  • A "Non-exhaustive" list of their hobbies, including; Knitting, painting, drinking coffee, breathing, not making direct eye contact, swimming, petting crabs, breathing life into inanimate objects, walking, practicing Blaseball, origami, and looking at the stars.
  • Segments of what is assumed to be an interview, but due to informal and sometimes nonsensical answers from Parra to the questions asked, some readers speculate that it was actually a recording of an eavesdropped conversation. Excerpts include "Hi, sorry I'm late [inaudible], Bustacean was late. Thanks for the coffee!" in response to a greeting, "Oh, yeah, the little crabs are my favourite origami to make" when asked about their teeth brushing habits, and "Of course I will. You know me." When asked about aspirations for reaching the Season 4 ILB Finals.
  • REDACTED featuring REDACTED and REDACTED of Parra, presented in "marvelous 3D, now with sound" according to the magazine headline. Issues with this part of the article still in tact are collector's items, as some claim after witnessing this part of the article, the pages it was inscribed on burst into flames. It's unknown whether these rumors are true as prices for this issue of the magazine are so astronomically high that fans and museums alike are afraid to test the validity of this claim.
  • Supposed evidence of Parra's ability to shape-shift. This claim was not founded with sources or pictures within the article and thus is largely considered to be a baseless rumor.
  • Pictures of Parra on the Blaseball field. These inclusions made this particular issue of the magazine legally required to say "The Commissioner is doing a great job!" and "We are all love Blaseball" on both the front and back cover or face ramifications of REDACTED. Luckily, this is a frequent occurrence for Shells Cracked so no one had to face the ramifications.
  • A segment about Parra's rumored relationship with Hades Tigers pitcher Yazmin Mason. This claim in the article being supported by the two of them being "seen practising together in both the Sixth Circle Stadium and the Crabitat during the Grand Siesta, despite Mason being a pitcher, and Parra a batter." When asked about these rumors in the article a flustered Parra was quoted as saying: "What? Uh, no! That'd be against league regulations... Well, I mean... Plus it would affect my career, yeah? So when we practise together it's strictly, uh, friendly!" These rumors have been REDACTED.


Fan Works

Parker Parra features in the following fics: