Paula Turnip

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Paula Turnip is a player in the Shadows for the Hades Tigers, and has been with the team since the Season 13 elections. Turnip has played for the Seattle Garages.

Official League Records

Turnip joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Hades Tigers on Season 3, Day 110 (game 2 of Internet Series) after the incineration of fan favorite Landry Violence.

On Season 4, Day 105 (game 2 of the semifinals against the Breckenridge Jazz Hands), Turnip achieved the rare feat of scoring a run without a single hit by being walked and then stealing second, third, and home before the next at-bat ended.

On Season 8, Day 22, Turnip siphoned some of Moist Talkers pitcher Jenkins Good's baserunning ability in a game with Blooddrain weather.

On Season 8, Day 71, Turnip was exchanged to the Seattle Garages due to a Feedback. Turnip was replaced by Paula Mason.

During the Coffee Cup, Turnip played for Cream & Sugar United as a lineup player.

Turnip was traded to the Hades Tigers in exchange for Carmelo Plums during the Season 13 elections via the Tigers' Exchange will.

During the Season 18 elections, Turnip gained the Super Idol modification as a result of the Center of Attention blessing.

On Season 19, Day 6, in the fourth inning of a game against the Miami Dale, Turnip was targeted by a Rogue Umpire. Due to the Tigers' Umpire Cream rendering Turnip Fireproof, the attempted incineration failed, backfiring and instead incinerating the umpire.[1]

During the Season 19 earlsiesta, Turnip was given the Uncertain modification as part of the seasonal reading.

During the Season 19 elections, Turnip's Super Idol modification was changed into the Credit to the Team modification by the Tigers' Reform will.

During the Season 20 elections, Turnip's Credit to the Team modification was changed into the Homebody modification by the Tigers' Reform will.

During the Season 21 elections, Turnip become a lineup player via the Liability blessing. Turnip also became an Alternate and gained the Negative modification due to the Rotation Alternate Trust blessing.

During the Season 22 elections, Turnip retreated to the Tigers' Shadows via the Tigers' Move will.

After Day 99 of Season 23, Turnip was Preserved.

COMMUNITY REPORTS

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Paula Turnip is a bog dryad and "legitimate businesswoman." She is the only daughter of Christafiore "The Sprout" Turnip, matriarch of the Turnip crime family. She grew up in Elysium, where she was a childhood friend of Yazmin Mason. The two had a falling out at some point, which Turnip has refused to comment on and Yazmin only states was due to "unethical business practices."

Before her possession and eventual conscription into Blaseball, Turnip could be found sailing between islands on the river Styx peddling her eponymous turnips as well as Hades pomegranates. Her claims about the health benefits and market value of said turnips were dubious at best. The body doubles her mother hired to protect her allow Turnip to seemingly appear in multiple places at once.

For her part, Christafiore Turnip has eagerly encouraged her daughter's Blaseball career. "Little Paula was always better at stealing hearts than money," she says. Hades Tigers games are mandatory viewing for Turnip family members, under penalty of pruning.

Recruitment into the Tigers

After walking into the field at the beginning of Game 2 in the finals of Season 3, she became the final host for Landry Violence before his tragic incineration, during which Violence sacrificed himself to save her life. In that moment, she says, the energy of Violence flowed through her. Vowing to avenge him, Turnip picked up Violence's bat, screamed "Violence begets violence!" and immediately tried to steal third. This proved to the rest of the team that she really was a Tiger, and they accepted her with open arms—including Yazmin Mason, who agreed to put their past aside in the pursuit of Violence.

The fire of incineration seared a braise of Violence's iconic jacket patch into her back. Turnip says she wears it as a badge of honor in her quest to carry on the works of Violence. The brand smolders eternally, never spreading nor causing her pain; its luminous embers matched by the fiery conviction in Turnip's eyes.

Turnip still sells turnips under a pseudonym during the off-season, mostly as an excuse to shamelessly flirt with customers. Her girlfriends can always be found in the stands at Tigers games supporting her. Turnip has said that Violence's sacrifice affected her deeply, causing her to reconsider her life choices and making her "much more anticapitalist." She has since dropped many of her more dubious business practices, and now runs the turnip shop as a co-op.

Career In Seattle

After swapping to the Seattle Garages in Season 8, Paula Turnip quickly acclimated to the Pacific Northwest and began construction of a new greenhouse atop the Garages' stadium to support a second co-op franchise in Seattle. A contingent of her capable polycule rotate back to Hades to maintain their original location. The Garages' resident cat-people, Nolanestophia Patterson and Malik Destiny, soon got wind of this new sunny, warm location and regularly can be found lounging amongst the greenery.

Turnip has a contentious relationship with former Garages' star pitcher Jaylen Hotdogfingers. The two seem to avoid one another, and when asked on the subject, Turnip has been quoted saying, "Look, I know Jaylen can't control what she does, but that doesn't make this any easier for me. In the course of two seasons, I have lost four friends to her pitching, and now I've been uprooted from the only home I've ever known to come work on the same team as someone who's caused a ton of grief for me. So, yeah, that's going to cause more than a little friction."

Personal Life

During the Extended Siesta, Turnip partook in grief counseling to reckon with the sacrifice of Violence, and afterwards channeled her passions into the Blaseball Players' Union. There, she became president and began to openly call to stop the rogue umpires, which has earned her a rocky relationship with Commissioner Parker MacMillan III.[2]

Over the course of her Blaseball career, Turnip became close to Hades Tigers' team captain Moody Cookbook, eventually growing to consider them family. After their incineration on Day 32 of Season 7, she vowed to play the rest of the season in their honor. During the remaining season, Turnip put up career bests in batting average, plate appearances, triples hit, stolen bases, and more.[3]

Since arriving in Seattle, Turnip has turned inwards, reconnecting with her roots. Giving herself space from the events of the last few seasons, she has found more free time to dedicate to old past times. Oliver "Oll-E" Notarobot has offered her full access to his dinghy, which she accepted in a heartbeat. She can be found sailing around the Puget Sound on days she deems nice enough. She has also been seen enjoying hikes with team captain Theodore Duende and team mascot Lori Boston.

Music

Shortly after her arrival, the band asked her what instrument she intended to play. Turnip, unaccustomed with the Garages ways, was surprised to hear they expected her to pick up an instrument. When she stated she didn't have one in mind, they escorted her to the Instrument Containment Center located within the depths of the Big Garage. After looking around a bit, she picked up a fancy-looking violin and started fiddling with it. Shocking everyone, the instrument attuned to her electric blood and activated on its own. She noodled around with a few other instruments to see what else her blood would interact with, but ultimately settled on the electric violin. "It just... it sounds right to me. You feed it your sorrow and anger and grief and it turns that into something... alive." Turnip has been practicing the electric violin since, often taking it up to the rooftop garden to play in the dead of night.

Fan Works

Paula Turnip is the focus of the following songs: