Charleston Shoe Thieves

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The Charleston Shoe Thieves are an Internet League Blaseball team in the Awful Good division of the Good Conference. They have been a part of the League since Season A. They have previously played in the Chaotic Good division of the Good League and the Mild Low division of the Mild League.


Lineup Rotation

Expansion Era

Lineup Rotation

Player History

For a list of all former players, see Category:Former Charleston Shoe Thieves Players.

Date Removed Added Cause
Toggle Intrateam Moves (Fax, Voicemail, etc.)
β03 40 - Sebastian Townsend + Atlas Jonbois 👟 Incineration
β03 43 - Atlas Jonbois + Sebastian Woodman 👟 Incineration
β03 57 - Matteo Prestige + Gunther O'Brian 👟 Incineration
β03 75 - Blankenship Fischer + Blood Hamburger 👟 Incineration
β03 EL1 - Forrest Bookbaby + Kevin Dudley 🥧 Blessing (🥧) Go Away
β04 28 - Workman Gloom + Joe Voorhees 🗣️ Feedback
β04 58 - Morrow Doyle + Hotbox Sato 🌹 Feedback
β04 83 - Ren Hunter + Richardson Games 📱 Feedback
β06 23 - Antonio Wallace + Lachlan Shelton 🗣️ Feedback
β06 EL1 - Joe Voorhees + Howell Franklin 🕵️ Blessing (👟) Who?
β08 44 - Lachlan Shelton + Eugenia Garbage 🗣️ Feedback
β08 44 - Eugenia Garbage + Simon Haley 🗣️ Feedback
β08 EL1 - Kevin Dudley + Fitzgerald Wanderlust 🌮 Blessing (👟) Thief in the Night
β09 64 - Beasley Gloom + Jaylen Hotdogfingers 🗣️ Feedback
β09 99 + Conditional Yuniesky 👟 Playoff Birth
β10 99 + Tevin Melcon 👟 Playoff Birth
β10 ES - Jaylen Hotdogfingers + Tillman Henderson Idol Board Swap
Following the end of the regular season, Hotdogfingers, who was at the 14th slot of the Idol Board, was swapped with Henderson, who was at the 14th slot of the Hall of Flame at the time.
β11 99 + Gallup Murphy 👟 Playoff Birth
β12 99 + Tad Seeth 👟 Playoff Birth
β12 EL1 + Pudge Nakamoto 🍬 Will (🍬) Revoke
β13 20 - Hotbox Sato + Alx Keming 👟 Incineration
β13 GD0 - Tillman Henderson + Simba Davis 👟  Returned
13 GD1 - Tad Seeth Redacted
β14 22 - Sebastian Woodman + Bennett Bluesky 👟 Incineration
14 72LS + Wyatt Mason XII 👟 Second Wyatt Masoning
β14 84 - Wyatt Mason XII Static
β14 EL1 - Bennett Bluesky + Jordan Hildebert 🕵️ Will (👟) Exchange
β14 EL2 + Bright Zimmerman 🗣️ Will (🗣️) Revoke
β15 71 - Alx Keming Redacted
β15 EL0 - Conditional Yuniesky + Jaylen Hotdogfingers 🎸 Will (👟) Plunder
β15 EL1 - Jaylen Hotdogfingers 🎸 Will (🎸) Move
β15 EL2 + Halexandrey Walton 🌮 Blessing (👟) Blood Pact
β15 EL3 + Stew Briggs 🕵️ Roamin'
β16 32 - Howell Franklin + Oliver Loofah 🎸 Feedback
β16 99 + Drosophila Fashion 👟 Playoff Birth
β16 EL1 - Halexandrey Walton + Goodwin Morin 🏋️‍ Will (👟) Plunder
β17 12 - Pudge Nakamoto + Donna Milicic 👟 Incineration
β17 13 + Oscar Dollie Attraction
β17 15 - Fitzgerald Wanderlust + Jaylen Hotdogfingers 🎸 Feedback
β17 55 + Ren Hunter 📱 Attraction
β17 79 - Jaylen Hotdogfingers + Inky Rutledge Feedback
β17 EL1 - Inky Rutledge + Alejandro Leaf 🏋️‍ Will (🏋️‍) Equivalent Exchange
β18 ES - Goodwin Morin Preservation
β18 GD - Stew Briggs 🐌 Roamin'
β19 72LS + Goodwin Morin III 👟 Gift Shop
β19 99 + Badgerson Stromboli 👟 Playoff Birth
β19 EL0 - Bright Zimmerman 🍬 Will (👟) Shadow Revoke
β19 EL1 + Agan Harrison 🛠️ Blessing (👟) Now Hiring
β20 79 - Alejandro Leaf + Vernon Shotwell 👟 Incineration
β20 99 + Dovydas Peeps 👟 Playoff Birth
β20 EL2 - Oliver Loofah + Terrell Bradley 🎸 Will (🎸) Equivalent Exchange
β20 GD - Goodwin Morin III Dust
β21 EL0 - Terrell Bradley + Inky Rutledge 🏋️‍ Will (👟) Equivalent Exchange
β22 72aLS + New Megan Ito IV 👟 Gift Shop
β22 72bLS + Liquid Friend VII 👟 Gift Shop
β22 72cLS + Uncle Plasma VII 👟 Gift Shop
β22 EL0 - Herring Winfield + Jessica Telephone 🦀 Will (👟) Equivalent Exchange
β22 EL1 - Jessica Telephone + Conner Haley 🥩 Will (🥩) Equivalent Exchange
β22 EL2 - Ren Hunter + Tad Seeth 🥧 Blessing (👟) Big Swap
β22 EL3 - Winnie Loser 🎸 Blessing (🎸) Gachapon
β22 EL4 - Liquid Friend VII Dust
β22 EL5 - Uncle Plasma VII Dust
β22 EL6 - New Megan Ito IV Dust
β23 81 - Rhys Rivera 🛠️ Phantom Thieves' Guild
β23 90 - Gunther O'Brian + Orion Ultrabass 👟 Incineration
β23 99 + Slosh Gulp 👟 Playoff Birth
β23 117 + Abbott Wright 💫 Drafted from Semi-Centennial
β23 EL0 - Bennett Takahashi - 🌮 Blessing (🌮) Gachapon
β24 44b + Fenry Stickybeak 📱 Phantom Thieves' Guild
β24 63 + Parker MacMillan 🥧 Super Roamin'
β24 72a - Parker MacMillan - 🐅 Super Roamin'
β24 72b + Castillo Turner 🥧 Super Roamin'
β24 81 - Castillo Turner 🏗️ Super Roamin'

Season Results

For a list of individual season pages, see List of Charleston Shoe Thieves Seasons.
The Discipline Era (Seasons 1 to 11)

Season Record Place in Subleague Postseason Elections
1 51-48 5th
2 50-49 4th ILB Finalists

W 3-2 vs. Dallas Steaks
W 3-0 vs. Boston Flowers
L 1-3 vs. Philly Pies

The Yes Plz! Blessing, improved the Shoe Thieves' hitting by 10%.
3 60-40

The Grand Unslam granted 2 Wins to the Shoe Thieves

2nd Eliminated Round 1

L 1-3 vs. San Francisco Lovers

The Philly Pies sent Kevin Dudley to the Shoe Thieves with Go Away! They took Forrest Bookbaby in return.
4 51-48 4th Eliminated Round 1

L 1-3 vs. Chicago Firefighters

5 46-53 7th The High Filter Decree moved the Shoe Thieves to the Mild Low division.
  • Bad Neighbors impaired the overall rating of the rest of the Mild Low division by 3%.
  • Soul Swap randomized the 5 worst players on the team:
6 48-51 6th
  • Who? stole the least popular player in the league, hitter Howell Franklin, from the Houston Spies, and maxed their stats. Their worst hitter, Joe Voorhees, was sent in return.
  • Mutually Arising improved the overall rating of the Mild Low division by 2%
7 56-43 2nd Eliminated Round 1

L 2-3 vs. Seattle Garages

  • The Bless Off decree prevents the top 4 teams from getting Blessings.
  • The Hawai'i Fridays protect Mild Low with the Shame Bubble.
8 49-50 6th
9 62-37 1st ILB Champions

W 3-1 vs. Hades Tigers
W 3-1 vs. Seattle Garages
W 3-2 vs. Baltimore Crabs

  • The Crabs get the Fifth Base bubble, protecting Wild High. A fifth base is installed in the Choux.
  • The Flowers get the Shame bubble, protecting Wild Low. The thieves are subject to Targeted Shame.
10 65-34 2nd ILB Finalists

W 3-2 vs. Kansas City Breath Mints
W 3-0 vs. New York Millennials
L -1-3 vs. Baltimore Crabs

  • Noise-Canceling Headphones equipped all 14 active players with  Soundproof Headphones.
  • Traveling Team gave  Traveling to the Shoe Thieves.
  • Tag-Team Fourth Strike gave the Shoe Thieves and the Hellmouth Sunbeams  The Fourth Strike.
  • Haunted gave Esme Ramsey the  Haunted Modification.
  • Shadow Ban Together boosted the Mild Low division's shadows by 3%.
11 59-42

Sun 2 and Black Hole were introduced.

2nd Eliminated Round 1

L 2-3 vs. Seattle Garages

The Shoe Thieves were assigned the Arcana X The Wheel of Fortune.

The Expansion Era (Seasons 12 to 24)

Season Record Place in Subleague Postseason Elections
12 42 (42-57) 8th

(Wild Card)

Mild League Finalists

W 2-1 vs. New York Millennials
W 3-1 vs. Philly Pies
L 1-3 vs. Seattle Garages

13 42 (41-58) 9th
14 36 (37-62) 12th The Shoe Thieves benefited from the newly introduced  Free Will.
15 44 (43-56) 12th
16 44 (43-56) 9th

(Wild Card)

Eliminated Round 2

W 2-1 vs. Kansas City Breath Mints
L 2-3 vs. Dallas Steaks

17 52 (52-47) 6th
18 39 (40-59) 10th
  • Alternate Trust turned Ren Hunter into a  Negative  Alternate, removing  Attractor.
  • Reform turned Esme Ramsey's  Haunted into  Flippers.
  • A Blood Type gave the team  A Blood Type.
  • Afterparty gave the team  Afterparty for the first 9 days of the following season.
  • Bon Voyage gave the team  Good Riddance.
  • Stew Briggs Roamed to the Ohio Worms, triggering Good Riddance.
19 -38 (35-64)

Turntables was introduced.

3rd Eliminated Round 2

L 0-3 vs. Yellowstone Magic

20 46 (46-53) 8th Underbracket: Eliminated Round 2

W 2-1 vs. Philly Pies
L 1-3 vs. Seattle Garages

21 50 (37-62) 8th
22 64 (50-49) 5th
23 67 (57-42) 3rd Overbracket: Eliminated Round 2

L 0-3 vs. Seattle Garages

24 30 (58-40) N/A No Elections took place.

Team Overview

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

For an in-depth look at the Shoe Thieves' history, see Charleston Shoe Thieves/History.

The Charleston Shoe Thieves are from Charleston. They are known for stealing shoes, especially from rival teams. The Shoe Thieves are also known as "the second gayest team in Blaseball" after losing the top spot to the New York Millennials in a game of paper scissors rock. They have a long-standing friendship with the Halifax-based Canada Moist Talkers, with whom they have traded players no fewer than fives times.

The team originally formed as a front for a heist, led by legendary master thief Cornelius Games. Once they realized that they were somewhat competent at the game, the team continued to play professionally. The current roster is a mixture of Games' original crew, professional blaseball players, and Gunther.

Shoes Thieves signal to each other by holding up coded shoes.


The Choux Stadium is a French Patisserie in the forest of Mt. Pleasant, although its exact location is unknown. The stadium is maintained by a team of mysterious Gnomes who seemed to appear not long after the stadium was established. Their role in the disappearance of patrons' shoes is unconfirmed. Rumours that the gnomes are just mutant raccoons are unsubstantiated.



The Shoe Thieves do not have a traditional owner. Ownership of the team is distributed among every patron of the Choux Stadium and returned upon exit.

Current Staff

  • General Manager: Cornelius Games functions as the team's general manager, as well as being their ace pitcher.
  • Manager: You!
  • Pitching Coach: After their unfortunate delacing, Matteo Prestige's spirit became trapped in the upper decks of Choux Stadium. In between cries of eternal anguish, the spirit can be heard coaching the team's pitching staff. They have been given the honorary title of head pitching coach as a result.
  • Chief Marine Biologist and Legal Council: Holden Milk makes sure that if a shoe thief is ever caught, no one ever sets foot in court.


Sneaker Pete is the Shoe Thieves' current mascot and ward. Gunther O'Brian was the previous mascot until he was mistakenly drafted as Matteo Prestige's replacement.

Fan Culture

For a more in-depth look at Shoe Thieves fan culture, see Charleston Shoe Thieves/Fan Culture

Fans of the Charleston Shoe Thieves are also known as "Accomplices" or "Thieves". There is an emphasis on mutual respect, supporting fellow thieves, and the search for fresh kicks. The most common chant heard from fans is a call and response: "Whose Kicks? / Our Kicks!"


Following the Grand Unslam, the Charleston Shoe Thieves did not gain any performance stars as the result of a feedback trade (or set of single game feedback trades,) between the advent of feedback in Season 4 and Day 63 of Season 9, despite being affected by feedback six times over five seasons. This string of bad luck was attributed to a splorts curse brought into effect by an entity or entities affiliated with the city of Los Angeles or the Unlimited Tacos to punish the Shoe Thieves for their role in opening the Bad Gateway and shattering the city of Los Angeles into the infinite Los Angeli. In a statement to press regarding the curse, Shoe Thieves pitcher and general manager Cornelius Games noted that the team “...bear no ill will toward the Tacos or the city of Los Angeles. We don't even know that there is a curse, or that Los Angeles is its source. Our sins are manifold and we are unrepentant. We will not be returning Wyatt Mason's 1985 Air Jordans.”

The curse was broken on Day 63 of Season 9, when Beasley Gloom was traded to the Canada Moist Talkers for Jaylen Hotdogfingers. Fans have speculated that Jaylen's relationship to The Microphone, an entity closely associated with the Grand Unslam, may have had some bearing on the breaking of the curse.

Further Curses

Following their defeat at the hands of the Shelled One's Pods, the Shoe Thieves acquired the Flinch and Mild curses. Hitters afflicted by the Flinch curse cannot swing until a strike has been thrown in the At Bat. Pitchers with Mild will occasionally throw a mild pitch, which counts as a ball but causes all runners on base to advance.

The Shelled One is known to have asserted that players defeated by the pods would receive five curses. It is therefore possible that the Shoe Thieves are subject to several as-yet undetected curses.

Historic Moments

Stu Stole Home
On Day 26 of Season 2, in a game against the Hawai'i Fridays, Stu Trololol stole fourth base in the bottom of the 14th inning to put the Fridays into shame.

Stu Stole Home 2
On Day 71 of Season 2, in a game against the New York Millennials, Trololol again stole fourth base in the bottom of the 8th inning to secure a 6-5 win for the Shoe Thieves.

Box score of Stu Trololol stealing fourth base against the Hawai'i Fridays

The Grand Unslam
See the main article on The Grand Unslam.

On Day 73 of Season 3, in a game against the Los Angeles Tacos, Morrow Doyle hit a grand slam at the top of the 15th inning that shook the very foundations of Blaseball itself.

Gunther's Great Heist
On Day 97 of Season 4, Gunther O'Brian holds the Hawai'i Fridays to only a single run and secures the Shoe Thieves' place in the playoffs.

Beasley's Boss Battle
On Day 63 of Season 5, Beasley Gloom pitched 14 great innings against the Chicago Firefighters, holding them to only three runs, then Esme Ramsey hit a home run to shame them in the bottom of the 14th.

Dudley Shames Dudley
See the main article on Dudley Shames Dudley.

On Day 76 of Season 5, Wesley Dudley scored the winning run in the bottom of the 10th inning, shaming Shoe Thieves pitcher Kevin Dudley.

Gunther's Supercharged Shutout
On Day 22 of Season 6, Gunther O'Brian pitches his first shut out against the Canada Moist Talkers in a 10-0 stomping.

Workman's Last Stand
On Day 81 of Season 7, Canada Moist Talkers batter Workman Gloom was tragically incinerated to repay a debt. Though no longer a Shoe Thief, accomplices celebrated their accomplishments and mourned their incineration alongside Moist Talkers fans all the same. In the bottom of the 4th inning, Gloom posthumously hit a solo home run, bringing the Moist Talkers out of a 1-1 tie. Gloom's heroic final run stands as a testament to their dedication and skill to the splort of Blaseball.

The Double Swap
On Day 44 of Season 8, the Canada Moist Talkers and Charleston Shoe Thieves (an already infamous pair with respect to player trades) were the first teams to ever experience two Feedback swaps in one game. On Day 40, Eugenia Garbage had been hit by a pitch and began Flickering. In a later game against the Shoe Thieves, still flickering, Garbage was swapped for Lachlan Shelton in the bottom of the 2nd inning. Garbage played for the Shoe Thieves in the top of the 4th inning, before being swapped again in the top of the 7th for Moist Talker Simon Haley. By the end of the transaction only two players ended up on different teams, but Garbage was moved to the top of the Moist Talker's lineup, where previously they had been second to last.

Stu Stole Ascension
In Game 5 of the Season 9 Internet Series, Stu Trololol hit a three-run home run in the bottom of the 9th inning to secure the internet series title, shame the Baltimore Crabs and prevent them from ascending. Due to the application of the Shame Bubble blessing at the end of Season 9, the shame from this home run carried over into the following season.

Fan Works