Lucas Petty

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Lucas Petty is a pitcher for the LA Unlimited Tacos, and has been with the team since the Season 21 elections. Petty has previously played for the Kansas City Breath Mints.

Official League Records

Petty joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Kansas City Breath Mints with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season 18, Day 27, Petty joined the Breath Mints' pitching rotation in exchange for Uncle Plasma as a result of the Kansas City FreshDome's Fax Machine. On Day 32, Petty retreated to the Breath Mints' Shadows in exchange for Uncle Plasma, again due to the Fax Machine.

On Season 18, Day 69, Petty rejoined the active roster in exchange for PolkaDot Zavala, as a result of the Kansas City FreshDome's Fax Machine.

During the Season 18 elections, Petty retreated to the Breath Mints' Shadows as a result of the Breath Mints' Move will.

On Season 19, Day 13, Petty joined the Breath Mints' pitching rotation in exchange for Leach Ingram as a result of the Kansas City FreshDome's Fax Machine. On Day 31, Petty retreated to the Breath Mints' Shadows in exchange for Ingram, again due to the Fax Machine. On Day 80, Petty rejoined the Breath Mints' pitching rotation in exchange for Uncle Plasma as a result of the Kansas City FreshDome's Fax Machine.

On Season 20, Day 5, Petty retreated to the Breath Mints' Shadows in exchange for Plasma via the Kansas City FreshDome's Fax Machine. On Day 27, Petty rejoined the Breath Mints' pitching rotation in exchange for Leach Ingram as a result of the Kansas City FreshDome's Fax Machine. On Day 79, Petty retreated to the Breath Mints' Shadows in exchange for Ingram, again due to the Fax Machine.

On Season 21, Day 81, Petty rejoined the Breath Mints' pitching rotation in exchange for Ingram via the Kansas City FreshDome's Fax Machine. On Day 95, Petty retreated to the Breath Mints' Shadows in exchange for Kina Larsen, again due to the Fax Machine. On Day 105, Petty rejoined the Breath Mints' pitching rotation in exchange for Larsen via the Kansas City FreshDome's Fax Machine.

Petty was traded to the LA Unlimited Tacos in exchange for Michelle Sportsman during the Season 21 elections via the Breath Mints' Equivalent Exchange will.

On Season 22, Day 54, Petty retreated to the Tacos' Shadows in exchange for Yummy Elliott via Al Pastor Memorial Park's Fax Machine. On Day 65 of that Season, Petty rejoined the Tacos' pitching rotation in exchange for McBaseball Clembons via the Fax Machine. On Day 94, Petty returned to the Tacos' Shadows in exchange for Vito Kravitz, again via the Fax Machine.

On Season 23, Day 3, Petty rejoined the Tacos' pitching rotation in exchange for McBaseball Clembons at Al Pastor Memorial Park via the Ratified Fax Machine.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Lucas Petty Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-90.426 and start reading...

History

Lucas Petty joined the ILB as the designated relief pitcher for the Kansas City Breath Mints. Petty is also a stock car driver for NLASCAR.

During home games at The Meadow, fans can try their luck at racing Petty between innings. Petty has yet to lose a race to fans, though this is likely attributed to the fact that fans are required to run on foot while Petty drives their stock car.

On several occasions, Petty has been seen washing blood off of their car. Managemint has blocked all requests for information.

Due to a series of legal mishaps that Petty refuses to explain (or couldn’t if they wanted to, given that they failed the bar), Petty is legally the King of the small imaginary nation of “Pettistan”, which supposedly exists 10 miles off the coast of Texas.

Transfer to the LA Unlimited Tacos

At the end of Season 21, Petty wanted to challenge themself by doing a cannonball run from Kansas City to Los Angeli. They also expressed an interest in test driving the Tacos’ Chariot. Upon their arrival, Michelle Sportsman, seeking to expand her collection of trophies earned via combat, challenged them to a fight for the crown of Pettistan, reasoning that there wasn’t that much difference between a crown and a medal. As Petty was not interested in doing so, Sportsman instead stole their car and their spot in the Breath Mints’ rotation, having already intended to accompany NaN to Kansas City. This left an open spot in the Tacos’ rotation, which Petty agreed to fill.

Vito Kravitz tried to sell Petty an absolutely garbage car from his used car shop. However, while looking around the lot, Petty expressed interest in one of Kravitz’s project cars, firmly establishing that they had a common interest: vehicles. Once persuaded to not sell Petty a practically nonfunctional car, Kravitz helped Petty get a new and functional racecar.

First Season Trials And Tribulations

Petty was not the only new player to join the Tacos during the Season 21 elections. They arrived to the team at almost exactly the same time as Goobie Ballson. Petty and Ballson were not previously acquainted, but as well as joining the Tacos simultaneously, they also shared a pregame ritual of “washing the blood off”. Petty and Ballson got along well and became friends almost immediately.

Petty was pitching on Season 22 Day 9, and was actively on the mound when Ballson was incinerated. This was also the first instance of activation for the Tacos’ Heat Magnet, scoring them five runs which ultimately had no impact on the Tacos’ victory. Although Petty stayed composed and pitched a shutout that game, witnessing the incineration was an extremely negative experience for them. The loss of the person they arrived to this team with and befriended made their own status feel less secure, and resulted in more awkwardness between them and the rest of the Tacos for the next few weeks.

Ultimately, the Tacos were supportive of Petty and they got along excellently with the team, adapting to the team vibes well and continuing to put on a show on the pitcher’s mound. Meanwhile, with the assistance of Sportsman’s athletic advice and Underhanded pitches, the Breath Mints won the championship that same season. Despite the championship being, in some respects, directly attributable to the Mints trading Petty away, Petty did not hold a grudge over this, and was very happy for their former teammates. The championship made them feel slightly more separated from their former team, but they tried their best to ignore that distance. They eagerly attended the Mints’ parade.

Driving the Chariot (Season 24)

On Season 24 Day 4, the Breath Mints were incinerated. This rattled the usually easygoing Petty on a deep level, but they channeled their distress into focusing on the Tacos, trying to keep the team safe-- although initially there wasn’t much they could do to help achieve that.

Shortly afterwards, the Depth Chart became navigable by spaceship. Petty and Kravitz strapped several fireworks that they had picked up while on a road trip together to the top of the Chariot, and worked together to pilot it to try to direct the team to safety, in the form of the Desert. Fortunately for Petty, the Desert was also the destination of the Oxford Paws, the new home of fireproof former Mints Leach Ingram and Rodriguez Internet, who they reunited with there. Piloting the Chariot was an important role and almost a leadership position, with all the stress and responsibility that entailed, but also a very enjoyable experience for Petty.

Petty barely had any time to process the Mints’ exit from the Hall of Flame, because within days of that happening, the Black Hole(Black Hole) started expanding. This made staying on course crucially important, with the threat of nullification on the line, and so Petty funneled all their energy into driving the Chariot. Petty was quoted as saying,

“It’s a weird situation. Things are going just dandy here, but this is more responsibility than I’ve ever had in, like, ever, and on top of that I’m worrying about the Mints all the time. And I’m also worrying about the Paws; Rod and Leach are there! And on top of all that, people are depending on me! But on the other hand, I get to drive the Chariot! Do you know how many fireworks we strapped to this thing?”

The number of fireworks strapped to the top of the Chariot appears to be over one hundred.

Personality and Appearance

Petty is a flashy showoff dork. They are loud in all regards, delighting in loud clothes, loud colors, loud cars, and loud intro music, but are still a genuinely nice person and have been described as “chill”. Petty never goes easy in a competition, although they make sure to have fun with it. They are very good at matching their vibe to those around them and getting along with people. They are clutch, both in that that’s how they drive and in that that’s how they play blaseball. Notably self-assured, they have been described as a “fantastic, if reckless, thembo”.

Appearance-wise, Petty has fluffy hair that they dyed blonde at one point, although the dye may or may not have faded away by now. They are Black. They are often seen wearing a standard NLASCAR race suit in bright colors, covered in team logos.

Relationships

On the Breath Mints

Petty’s best friend on the Mints, and in general, is Marquez Clark. The two are both described as having “disaster vibes”, and have also both been described as kings. (Petty, of Pettistan; Clark, of having increasingly improbable and bizarre often-bad things happen to him.)

Petty is close friends with Leach Ingram and Rodriguez Internet. The three get along great. Since joining the Tacos, Petty has shown off their Acidic pitches to Ingram and Internet, who are delighted by them.

Petty is known to race against Grey Alvarado, who instead of using an actual car mimes racing in an invisible car. (Refresh to see Petty’s dynamic with another of the Breath Mints, or go to “View source” (under the “Editing and tools” menu at the top of the page) to look at all the options for these randomizations.)

On the Tacos

Petty and Vito Kravitz are the two car guys of the Tacos. They are friends, although they also have a friendly rivalry and often compete with each other so their friendship might not be immediately obvious. Petty can rein in Kravitz’s potential obnoxiousness when in a group, but enjoys it and can also enable him when they’re alone or when the dumb stuff they do together will not ruin the vibes of a group, in which case they are constantly goofing around together and giving each other heck.

Petty has a surprising amount in common with McBaseball Clembons. Both of them were actively using the Tacos’ fax machine a lot in the same time frame, and they are both nonbinary and Black. Although often chaotic and generally quite loud, Petty is very capable of having a calm and chill demeanor, and because of that the more relaxed Clembons can get along with them well. Clembons has learned about cars and thereby bonded with both Petty and Kravitz over vintage cars and improving at pitching.

Due to arriving at the same time and having the same pregame ritual, Petty immediately got along with Goobie Ballson prior to Ballson’s incineration, starting up a casual friendship. While proponents of the “Ballson Is A Murderer Theory” have questioned whether their interactions were secretly or inadvertently fuelling a sinister plan, Petty has stated that they do not care either way and enjoyed their time together.

Petty was willing to try the spicy milk that has become a trend among the Tacos, claiming that it wasn’t a big deal but that they very much were not a fan of it. They were able to list what they disliked about it (“First of all, the milk,”), and insisted that the team “better not waste any good hot sauce on it.” Their willingness to try unpleasant food even if they disliked it caused Yummy Elliott to invite them to take a food tour together, which they did. They also get along well with Elliott in general, having an “adult sibling vibe” with her, having similar music taste, and potentially teaching zir how to drive.

Petty was initially afraid of Pepito, since they were used to more murderous mascots, specifically the Spearmint. They avoid Lil Mijo.

Basilio Mason expressed initial disappointment at receiving two often-blood-covered teammates, but made both of them custom outfits regardless; Petty received some nice custom coveralls from him. (Refresh to see Petty’s dynamic with another of the Tacos.)

The Kit Crew

Petty’s pit crew is comprised of several pet cats, referred to as the Kit Crew. See also: Lucas Petty’s Kit Crew.

Trivia

  • Petty is the self-proclaimed #1 fan of Axel Trololol, citing Trololol as a major reason for joining the Breath Mints.
  • Petty is not an ambi-turner after being conditioned for years to only turn left while driving or running bases. Thanks to Los Angeli’s non-Euclidean city planning, it’s still possible to get anywhere by just turning left and believing.
  • Petty hates LA traffic, but loves its interesting roads.
  • Thanks to being in the vicinity of Hewitt Best, Petty’s Kit Crew is unionized. Upon joining the Tacos, Hendricks Richardson received and reviewed their union paperwork and confirmed it was all in order.
  • Petty experiences frequent nosebleeds.
  • Petty prefers dramatic entrances, sometimes driving through a large cardboard cutout of a fax machine to enter the field.
  • Petty has yet to beat Winnie Hess in a race, despite using a racecar while Hess gallops on hoof. Sexton Wheerer is not nearly as fast as Hess.
  • Petty collects gifts given to them by fans. They keep every gift they receive. (Refresh for more trivia.)
  • Petty’s intro music is Highway to Hell.


Chants

  • Start your engines!
  • Go off, King!
  • Show me the car fax!

Fan Works

Text Works

Gallery