Philladeltrix: The Marquis of Pain

From Blaseball Wiki

Philladeltrix: The Marquis of Pain is a signature blaseball play by the Philly Pies. The move came to Philly Pies GM Sam Hinkie in a dream and was furthered developed with help from Mickey Woods despite subsequent undeveloping attempts by Ruslan Greatness. Blaseball scholars are not sure how in REDACTED's name this move is legal.


The move can only be performed when the fourth vectors are aligned in the 3rd inning. By doing the Recumbent Form pitch in the backwards manner, a spacial rift is opened on the field. This rift leads directly to the heart of Philadelphia. The City of Philadelphia then focuses on its memories of its late godson, Philly Pies outfielder Juan Rangel. The resulting grief cause Philadelphia to transform into its shadowed persona - the titular Philladeltrix. Philladeltrix squirms out from the rift and proceeds to cause a wriggling REDACTED of pain to the opposing team. This is accompanied by further REDACTED pain and REDACTED more pain until REDACTED the pain REDACTED pain pain REDACTED pain eternal. After several hours Philadelphia passes back through the rift where it resumes its usual form and proceeds to sleep for the next fortnight.

Despite the raw power of the play the effectiveness of Philladeltrix: The Marquis of Pain is subject to debate. Critics claim that the move "does nothing to help score points" and "just causes pain." Sam Hinkie has defended the move citing the "spectacular demoralizing effect" it has on the opposing team.