Jode Preston

From Blaseball Wiki

Jode Preston was a lineup player for the Kansas City Breath Mints, and was with the team from the Season β14 elections until Fall Ball. Preston has previously played for the Miami Dale and Philly Pies.

Official League Records

Preston joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Miami Dale with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season β9 elections, Preston joined the Philly Pies' lineup in exchange for Kennedy Cena as a result of the Grab and Smash blessing.

On Season β10, Day 40, Preston's defensive ability was siphoned by Dallas Steaks lineup player Cory Ross in a game with Blooddrain weather.

Preston was traded to the Kansas City Breath Mints in exchange for Jessica Telephone during the Season β14 elections via the Pies' Plunder will.

On Season β17, Day 16, Preston's ruthlessness and coldness were siphoned by Philly Pies pitcher Tiana Takahashi in a game with Blooddrain weather.

On Season β18, Day 22, Preston’s allergy was cured by the Cookout’s Peanut Mister.

During the Season β20 elections, Preston Evolved to Base 1 as a result of the Targeted Evolution blessing.

During the Season β22 elections, Preston gained the Reload modification as a result of the Autosave blessing.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Jode Preston is a collective hallucination caused by an airborne fungus found in all major blaseball stadiums. Those that breathe in the fungus see and experience a hitter named "Jode Preston" who plays for the Philly Pies, despite no such player existing or ever having existed. Players, officials, and fans collectively experience the Jode Preston hallucination, allowing Preston's non-existent runs, catches, and outs to officially count for the purpose of blaseball gameplay.

The Fungus

Early in season 9, a strange fungus was found growing in Tastykake Stadium. The source of the fungus was traced to one of Jessica Telephone's stashes of SKATE JUICE, which Peanut Holloway had been modifying for use in Project MAXON. At the time of discovery, the fungal spores had spread throughout the stadium, making its eradication not financially feasible. Luckily for Pies management, inhalation of these fungal spores has been deemed "safe" by a local health official.

The fungus appears as a translucent teal mold near many of the air vents and even as a series of small mushrooms in the outfield. While not harmful, when the fungal spores interact with the brains of humans and other animals, they cause collective hallucinations. By the end of the season, these spores had become pervasive enough to reach everyone in the stadium. When Kennedy Cena was sent away in the season 9 elections, one Pies intern hallucinated a player being sent back in return, whom they claimed was named Jode Preston, vaguely remembering the health official's name. Also affected by the fungus spores, everyone else latched onto this idea, claiming that Preston, an older woman, had just been signed from the Miami Dale shadows.

Unaffected by the hallucinations for whatever reason, Nicholas Mora was initially confused, but, only being able to speak Latin, was unable to communicate this with anyone. After searching for the source of the hallucination, he soon discovered the fungus. Rather than attempt to remove it, however, he saw this as an opportunity for profit and enrolled Preston as an official member of the Pies lineup, setting up their check to be forwarded to a P.O. Box where Mora could pick it up. Mora quickly realized that "Preston" would be unable to travel during away games and collected samples of the fungus, which he spent the off-season between seasons 9 and 10 distributing to stadiums throughout Internet League Blaseball.

Jode Preston

The fungus is not sentient and does not interact with humans and animals intentionally. However, the nature of the chemical reaction of the spores with the human brain is such that they cause those they interact with to see or hear what they want to, such as a local health official letting Pies management off the hook for what would be an expensive cleaning operation, while also leading them to accept others' descriptions of their hallucinations.

Because of these things, Jode Preston is seen as a friendly and helpful member of the team who offers useful advice. Many view Preston like a kind aunt, except Ruslan Greatness, who sees Preston as his giant crow friend. When Greatness describes Preston as such to his other teammates, they assume that "crow" is one of his idioms that they are unfamiliar with. A typical response is "Yeah, Rus, she's a real crow alright!"

Despite her at-plate appearances mysteriously not being televised, Jode has become a fan-favorite, staying after games to sign autographs. When fans return to their homes, however, they are invariably disappointed to learn that they the autographs have been misplaced. Following Preston's plate appearances, groundskeepers are often surprised to find an unusual number of blaseballs lying scattered on the grass behind home plate.

Biology

The species of the fungus is Hypocrella vaikai, although Mora claims that the scientific name of the fungus is Amicus lucrosus, or profitable friend.

Chants

  • Sicko Jode!
  • Bases Joded! (when up to bat while the bases are loaded)
  • (To the tune of “Hey Jude”) Hi Jode, dun't mock ot beed / Teek a seed sang and moke eet bootar / Romoomber tay leetaar eentoo yeer hort / Thin yee con sturt tah moke eet bootar / Hi Jode, dun't boo ifrayed / Yee waar meed ta gu oot end gat hor / Thu munite yau latter indar yar skun / Thun yi bigen tu moke ot bootar
  • woh ynnuf
  • Funny like a clown? well you see the mints spun off of one person saying something about a tiny sun into a riff on a small italian person because the emoji looked similar so then they thought of joe pesci, the prototypical small italian man, and then they made a funny image with this corresponding chants

Fan Works

Gallery


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