Rodriguez Internet

From Blaseball Wiki

Rodriguez Internet is a lineup player for the Oxford Paws, and has been with the team since Season 24, Day 3. Internet has previous played for the Kansas City Breath Mints.

Official League Record

Internet joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Kansas City Breath Mints with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season 3, Day 13, Internet swallowed a peanut and had a allergic reaction.

During the Season 3 elections, Internet had their stats randomized as a result of the Summoning Circle blessing.

During the Season 4 elections, Internet was affected by the Alternate Reality decree, which replaced them with an Alternate, randomizing their stats.

During the Season 9 elections, Internet received the Fire Eater modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Eclipse decree.

During the Season 10 election, Internet received the Repeating modification as a result of the Rogue Waves blessing.

During the Coffee Cup, Internet played for Royal PoS as a lineup player.

On Season 12, Day 11, Internet's defensive ability was siphoned by Hawai'i Fridays lineup player Nagomi Mcdaniel in a game with Blooddrain weather.

On Season 13, Day 65, Internet swallowed a peanut and had a allergic reaction.

During the Season 16 elections, Internet's batting was increased 1.6 -> 3.1 and pitching decreased 1.5 -> 0.9 as a result of the Breath Mints' Transfuse will.

On Season 17, Day 5, Internet was  SHELLED in a game with Peanut weather by San Francisco Lovers player Pitching Machine. On Season 17, Day 49, Internet was freed from their shell by birds.

On Season 19, Day 91, Internet's Superallergic modification was removed by The Meadow’s Peanut Mister.

On Season 20, Day 28, Internet's allergy was cured by The Meadow’s Peanut Mister.

During the Season 21 elections, Internet gained the Cluttered modification as a result of the Cluttered blessing.

On Season 22, Day 4, Internet retreated to the Breath Mints' Shadows in exchange for Bright Zimmerman at the Kansas City FreshDome via the Ratified Voicemail. On Day 56, Internet rejoined the Breath Mints' lineup in exchange for Zimmerman at the Kansas City FreshDome again via the Voicemail.

During the Season 22 elections, Internet gained the Reload modification as a result of the Autosave blessing.

Over the course of Season 23, Internet entered and exited the Breath Mints' Shadows 2 times as a result of Kansas City FreshDome Voicemail events, ending the season on the lineup.

During the Season 23 elections, Internet gained the modifications 2x and Ego as a result of the Season 21: Big Head Mode Blessing.

On Season 24, Day 3, Internet joined the Oxford Paws following the incineration of the Breath Mints, avoiding incineration due to their Fire Eater modification.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Internet's perceivable form is constructed of several ASCII characters artfully pieced together into the shape of a very kind and talented Blaseball player. In his current form he appears stuck at only dial-up speeds, however, Kansas City's high speed fiber-optic internet may unlock his full potential.

As a personification of the internet itself, the playfully nicknamed "Rod.Net" is well known for his quick thinking and love of cat pictures. Some fans have reportedly seen him keeping a small plush cat on a keychain around his belt, though none can seem to agree as to what the cat looks like. When asked to present the keychain during interviews, Internet consistently laughs to themself before informing the reporter that the alleged feline is "a bit camera shy."

Internet is also known to wear JNCO jeans, both in regular blue and a custom made mint green, which they swear are his secret to being a good player. More often than not, however, it's theorized that this leads to him getting caught stealing more than anything, though Internet has been yet to be seen tripping on their jeans in his day to day life.

After Season 4, Internet was replaced by a doppleganger, nicknamed instead "Rod.Com". At a glance the two appear almost identical, but there are subtle differences between the two.

Original Rodriguez Internet's walk-out music was "Spybreak!" by English electronic duo Propellerheads. Alternate reality Internet's preferred walk-up music is a 15 second unskippable ad. This new Internet always waits for the entire ad to be over before he starts swinging, often resulting in several strikes.

Alternate Internet likes to hand out cookies to fans between at-bats, and then obsessively checks on the status of said cookies throughout the game (and even at future games if he recognizes the fans).

Abilities

  • Very good at recommending gift ideas (often unsolicited).
  • Uses pop-up ads to deflect pop flys into his glove.
  • Experiences lag while base-running, making him easier to tag out.
  • His power increases based on how many fans like and subscribe.

Chants

  • Rod.net! He’s the internet!
  • Hot singles in your area! (after hitting a single)
  • Rod.net/dinger (after hitting a home run)
  • Beep boop, beep boop, Rod.com is in a loop!

Fan Works

Audio

Fan Sites

Videos

Gallery