Hendricks Richardson

From Blaseball Wiki

Hendricks Richardson is a player in the Shadows for the LA Unlimited Tacos, and has been with the team since the Season 22 elections. Richardson has previously played for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands and Hellmouth Sunbeams.

Official League Records

Richardson joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands on Season 2, Day 80 after the incineration of Alexandria Dracaena.

On Season 3, Day 11, Richardson swallowed a peanut and had a allergic reaction, decreasing their batting ability from to . During the Season 3 elections the Jazz Hands received the Evil Wind Sprints blessing, which increased Richardson's baserunning from to .

On Season 6, Day 44, Richardson was exchanged to the Hellmouth Sunbeams due to Feedback. Richardson was replaced by Randall Marijuana. During the Season 6 elections the Sunbeams received the Move the Mounds Closer blessing and benefited from the Sharing Signs blessing the Boston Flowers received, which increased Richardson's pitching from to .

During the Season 7 elections, the Sunbeams received the Stickum blessing, which boosted Richardson's Defense from to .[1]

On Season 8, Day 70, Richardson's pitching ability was siphoned by Baltimore Crabs pitcher Brock Forbes in a game with Blooddrain weather, dropping it from to a star.

On Season 9, Day 24, Richardson siphoned some of Chicago Firefighters batter Justice Spoon's baserunning ability in a game with Blooddrain weather, increasing their own ability to . During the Season 9 elections the Sunbeams received the Mutually Arising blessing, which increased Richardson's defense from to .

During the Season 10 elections the Sunbeams benefited from the Sharing Signs blessing the Unlimited Tacos received, which increased Richardson's batting to , after losing stars to siphoning throughout the season.

During the Coffee Cup, Richardson played for Club de Calf as a lineup player.

On Season 13, Day 56, Richardson's baserunning ability was siphoned by LA Unlimited Tacos batter Halexandrey Walton in a game with Blooddrain weather, decreasing it 3.6 -> 3.2 . During the Season 13 elections the Sunbeams benefited from all four "Bubble" blessings, which increased Richardson's batting, baserunning, and defense by 4%.

During the Season 15 elections, Richardson's baserunning was boosted 3.4 -> 3.5 as a result of the Running Practice blessing.

During the Season 17 elections, Richardson's moxie increased 2.9 -> 3.6 and thwackability increased 3.6 -> 4.1 as a result of the Buddies and Last Not Least blessings.

During the Season 20 elections, Richardson's moxie increased 3.6 -> 4.6 and thwackability increased 4.1 -> 4.4 as a result of the Global Guts blessing. Richardson also gained the Walk in the Park modification as a result of the Solo Stroll blessing.

Richardson was traded to the LA Unlimited Tacos in exchange for Son Jensen during the Season 22 elections via the Tacos' Equivalent Exchange will

On Season 23, Day 20, Richardson retreated to the Tacos' Shadows in exchange for Vito Kravitz at Al Pastor Memorial Park via the Ratified Voicemail.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Jazz Hands refer to Richardson as Hendricks "Richie 'Eat the Rich' Rich" Richardson.

Life and Curses

Growing up, Hendricks Richardson was not close to or supported by his rich parents. He transitioned post-high school and soon after he stole his family’s sledding dogs and ran away to Breckenridge. Once he had saved up enough money to attend college, he discovered Marxism and fell in love with the study, and soon entered the world of academia. He soon gained his PHD in Marxist Studies and later became a professor at the same university.

Richardson was a destitute professor who spent decades studying economic systems and writing papers assailing capitalist structures. His graduate dissertation, Historic Examples of Functioning Communism and the Capitalist Structures that Broke Them, included interviews with Alexandria Dracaena, whose lived experience with an African commune proved invaluable to his work. During the writing phase, he once again met Dracaena, and the two eventually became close friends.

On his 70th birthday Richardson was attacked by a Trustchild, a rabid and privileged creature that hunts the poor by the light of the Gold Moon. Multiple reports seem to state that when Richardson first met the players on the Crabs he stated that a player in the rotation seemed quite familiar and that he "remembered how hard he bit his arm" and that it was "unnecessary" implying that the pitcher was the one who bit him. However, sources are unreliable. This scarred Richardson's credit identity with the Curse of the Funded Trust, permanently giving him access to billions of dollars, and turned his withered body into the monstrous hybrid he was known as during his career on the Jazz Hands: an old man with a bushy beard and a baby's face.

After being traded to the Sunbeams, the Hellmouth cursed him for his wealth, transforming him into a giant, non-humanoid dragon. Despite now being a literal, fire-breathing dragon with molten gold for blood, Richardson's blaseball performance only improved a small amount.

In Season 16, Richardson received the first and only non-standard-issue item he would receive: a Golden Bat, granting Super Idol. This cursed bat made him a tool of the economy, sometimes even being the most valuable “solo seeds” idol, much to his chagrin. Despite Richardson’s best efforts, it refuses to break.

Pannonica Oko has expressed much interest in Richardson’s curses, not entirely kindly.

Transition to life in Hellmouth

Richardson and Sigmund Castillo became fast friends, due in part to both being new residents of the Hellmouth. When asked about the blooming friendship, Richardson began a lecture about Castillo being a wonderful example of a community governing itself, calling Castillo his "lair buddy".

Outside their blaseball career, Richardson still maintains a keen interest in participating in academia and educational outreach focused on capitalist critique. Their new draconic form has posed some logistical issues,[2] which they have mostly overcome with assistance from teammates (detailed below).

Hellmouth Community College has been asking Richardson to become their new economics professor since his move, but Richardson has instead been wandering the desert in order to teach the native flora and fauna about communism. His sessions have become very popular with the local cacti. Fellow lineup players Lars Taylor and Nagomi Nava will occasionally be seen at Richardson's lectures, transcribing them for Richardson to later submit to academic journals.[3] The transcriptions are then, reportedly, sent to Sandoval Crossing for proofreading, who then submits[4] the completed papers at the Community College on their way from their apartment to the Stadium. Richardson also streams the lectures on Twlitch, with the stream modded by his TA, Throckmorton Smooth. Richardson is work friends twice over with fellow academic Nerd Pacheco.

Richardson's new reptilian anatomy has made him a fan of basking, a hobby enjoyed by many ectothermic entities around Hellmouth. His teammate Zack Sanders runs a blog reviewing ideal sunbathing spots around Eastern Utah, which the two love to discuss in the locker rooms before games.

Transfer to Los Angeli

In the Season 22 elections, Richardson volunteered for a work exchange with Son Jensen, in order to study Los Angeli’s anticapitalism and compare the post-scarcity economies of LA and the Hellmouth, locations of vastly different population sizes. He had heard about Los Angeli from Nicholas Vincent, who took some classes with him during xer visits to Hellmouth. Richardson was abundantly warned of the dangers of Looking Too Close, and so warned off of studying space-time continuum fluctuations while there in too much detail. For the first few weeks, Richardson continued to stay in Castillo, thereby giving Castillo their long-awaited Infinite Wing, from which Felix Garbage can cautiously research the Hellmouth and the scuttles can escape into the wild.

Since this was not his first time somewhere new and was a less hectic situation, Richardson bonded with the Tacos faster than he initially had with the Sunbeams. He became especially close friends with Felix Garbage, a gravitational physicist who helped him settle in, and who had experience living in close quarters with dragons due to having been in the same apartment as Glabe Moon. He also bonded with Peanut Bong, partially due to their philosophical academic leanings and estrangement from their family. Although Richardson does not blame Bong for shelling Pacheco, there is still some undiscussed emotions in their friendship, including Bong being somewhat jealous that Richardson appeared to have an easier time with his supply of curses than Bong. Despite this tension, they are still friends.

LA Taqueria grew an in-stadium lecture hall to welcome Richardson, where he can be seen educating the various creatures around the stadium, including Lucas Petty’s Kit Crew, the scuttles, various rats, and on one notable occasion, Lil Mijo. The rats and one of the scuttles also act as TAs, and are skilled in this due to their long experience with anticapitalism, while Richardson’s former TA at HCC, Throckmorton Smooth, has received his position at HCC and also continues to be his Twlitch mod. Smooth also appears to be cousins “for real” with Tacos pitcher Yummy Elliott. In his free time, Richardson appears to have entered his gamer era, streaming various games on Twlitch. These include solitaire (often very long streams of it, where he explains communist theory), Smooth’s Master’s project (a Marxist dating sim), and demonstrating how broken economy games can be.

Within just a few games in active play, Richardson was voicemailed into the shadows in exchange for Vito Kravitz. Kravitz, being easily the least anticapitalist member of the Tacos, was eager to rub that in despite performing markedly worse for his star rating than Richardson. Richardson has what could be described as a sports anime-esque rivalry with Kravitz despite not caring that much about the splort itself, but is large enough to cover Kravitz entirely with one paw when he gets too annoying. Richardson and Kravitz had opposite reactions to the Coin’s death resulting in all coins melting, and Richardson has been trying to help Kravitz cope with post-capitalism since.

It is unclear whether the demise of the economy has broken Richardson’s curse. Coins do not exist, but the Golden Bat still does. Richardson continues to teach History of Economics and Communist Theory in Los Angeli.

Professor Richardson's Non-Biney Binder

This is a fork of the IRM, and chooses one entry of many written by the Blaseball community when the page is loaded. Hendricks Richardson has a folder full of memes sent to him by his students at Hellmouth Community College. If you would like to see the full contents of Hendricks Richardson's Non-Biney Binder, add additional entries; click Rumor Registry. If you would like to edit this entry, click Page-32.
This system is based on the Interdimensional Rumor Mill, which can be read about at Interdimensional Rumor Mill.

Page 32

Source: Email

From: Throckmorton Smooth ([email protected])

Subject: For Your Consideration

Message body:

Sup Prof,

A nonbinary flag colored frog sitting under text that reads: “You’re none biney? That’s poggers bro.”

See you at ECON 313!

-Throcky

Trivia

  • After Richardson’s transformation into a dragon, he was adopted as a cousin by a large red dragon from Wales. They have a rather tense correspondence mainly based around scale care tips.
  • Due to a clerical error, this Welsh dragon was accidentally set as Hellmouth Community College’s sports mascot rather than, as initially intended, Richardson. As a result, Richardson does not attend any HCC sporting events.[5]
  • Richardson will act insulted if you ask him if he's got a hoard, but never mentions his cupboard full of trans flag themed merchandise students keep buying him, or his binder full of trans memes Throcky sends him, which he prints out and laminates. Throcky named the binder “The Non-bindey.”
  • Richardson has 20 minutes of office hours every third Tuesday, but you're welcome to speak to him whenever he's out in the wilderness, assuming you can find him.
  • One of the many events Richardson funds with his blaseball salary is the annual Randall Marijuana Memorial Ski Trip, an opportunity for the Hellmouth’s trans youth to go skiing and to give them a social opportunity.
  • Richardson has a tendency to buy an excessive number of expensive items while under the effects of the full moon. After one such fugue state where he unknowingly bought a Tlesla, teammates Iggy Delacruz and Miguel James set up a stream where viewers could donate money to watch a, quote, “Dragon go to town on a Tlesla (NOT CLICKBAIT!!)” All money raised from this stream was donated to Hellmouth Fund for Trans Adaptation, a charity devoted to allowing trans people in the Hellmouth to succeed post-adaptation.
  • Richardson spends most blaseball practices reading rather than participating, neither causing nor preventing chaos. He will, however, occasionally retrieve things that chaos-causers wind up needing, since his flight lets him get places faster. This is also not a form of practicing blaseball skills.
  • Richardson is a founding member of the Nicholas Vincent Memorial Blaseball Academics Network, a formal to semiformal organization of academics playing or associated with Blaseball that seeks to coordinate research efforts and get players who change teams in contact with local opportunities to continue their education. As a result of this, he is acquainted with many other academically inclined blaseball players, even some not affiliated with this network directly.
  • Although Los Angeli is also too hot for sled dogs (and the Richardson family’s sled dogs have stayed in Breckenridge since his first team transfer), Richardson has also adopted and fostered stray dogs, and gets exercise by flying and taking the dogs for walks. One of the dogs he takes care of is Jeffrey, a big, dark grey dog who is one of the calmest of the lot.
  • Richardson tried to get Rat Batson to take the Golden Bat off his hands, on the premise that Batson’s complete lack of bat knowledge would render the curse ineffective. Unfortunately, Batson already had a bat that it could not use, and did not know how to take the bat, so this did not work. (Refresh to see Richardson’s dynamic with another of the Tacos.)
  • Hendricks Richardson hit a ground out to Joshua Butt. This play occurred on Round 1 of the Season 9 Wild Card series against the Chicago Firefighters, and it temporarily stopped time. Following this incident, Richardson has become interested in studying fluctuations in the space-time continuum, particularly those caused by butts. Some witnesses to the event report that, instead of time stopping, Richardson took his time at the plate as an opportunity for an impromptu lecture on capitalism, which stopped game proceedings. These reports are disputed.

Fan Works

Fanfiction

References

  1. This change was not reflected in the Season 7 Election Results. Stickum was only applied to pitchers when it should have been the entire roster. Seemingly as consolation, three Sunbeams' batters were given a 1 star increase in defense.
  2. the main one being "big ol' claws".
  3. Taylor's preferred method of recording is ten laptops simultaneously, while Nava "apparently makes do with just typing it all out on her phone. Damned if I know how she does it."
  4. "Submission" of any academic correspondence for publication consists of dropping the printed work (or a USB drive) into a mini-hellmouth on the college campus. The process is described as "generally less agonizing" than more typical submission processes.
  5. https://twitter.com/ch4zm_of_hell/status/1317931011284652035