Cannonball Sports

From Blaseball Wiki

Cannonball Sports is a lineup player for the Core Mechanics, and has been with the team since Season 18, Day 58. Sports has played for the Miami Dale and the San Francisco Lovers.

Official League Records

Sports joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Miami Dale on Season 7, Day 62 after the incineration of Murray Pony.

On Season 7, Day 95, Sports' pitching ability was siphoned by Wesley Poole during Blooddrain weather.

During the Coffee Cup, Sports played for FWXBC as a lineup player.

Sports was traded to the San Francisco Lovers in exchange for Parker Meng during the Season 15 elections via the Dale's Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

During the Season 17 elections, Sports became a lineup player via the Lovers' Move will.

On Season 18, Day 58, Sports was exchanged to the Core Mechanics due to Feedback. Sports was replaced by Foxy Pebble.

During the Season 19 earlsiesta Sports was given the Undertaker modification as part of the seasonal reading.

During the Season 21 elections, Sports' alternate was called and arrived with the Negative modification as a result of the Handful Alternate Trust blessing.

On Season 22, Day 5, Sports retreated to the Mechanics' Shadows in exchange for Allan Kranch at the Core Pillar Center via the Ratified Voicemail. On Day 35, Sports rejoined the Mechanics' lineup in exchange for Augusto Reddick at the Core Pillar Center via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the Season 22 elections, Sports gained the Skipping modification as a result of the Record Scratch blessing.

Over the course of Season 23 until Day 84, Sports entered and exited the Mechanics' Shadows two times as a result of Core Pillar Center Voicemail events, ending the Season on the lineup.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Overview

Cannonball Sports, sometimes called CB or CB Sports, is a batter for the Miami Dale. She is known for her raw strength, rollerblading skills, street fashion, hostility to authority, and possibly being made of stone. Sports has vitiligo and a number of graffiti-style tattoos, and is rarely seen without her headphones, rollerblades, and spray can.

Early Life

Sports is a Miami native, although there are conflicting reports of her origins. Many of her friends and neighbors say she was born in the XX80s in Hialeah, where she still lives near her parents, Rhiannon and Saul, and her brother, Cannonpaul. There is a widespread belief, however, that Sports was physically born from the Party Rock upon which the city sits. This belief is bolstered by reports that Sports's body, or parts of it, are made of stone. A profile in the popular extreme splorts blog Splorts Illest-rated: The Illest News in Splorts said that Sports "glitters like moonlight on the Bay, with streaks of white like bands of light reflected." Despite the questionably purple prose, this is good example of the popular depiction of Sports as made of a dark, shiny stone (obsidian?) with bands of white (believed to be Miami Oolite/limestone).

Skating Career

Sports started roller skating at a young age, and was a big name in the Miami roller derby scene before she even finished high school. Her notoriety as a derby skater initially led some people to believe that "Cannonball Sports" is a derby name, rather than her real name; however, in XX13, she went viral with the quote "with a name like mine, why would I ever need another?"

After winning the XX16 Miami Regional Derby Tournament with her longtime team, the Vice City Sirens, Sports set her sights on roller blading and hasn't looked back. She gained popularity outside the skating scene through her popular trick videos, bolstered by her growing interest in street fashion and art. During this time Sports got a large number of tattoos resembling graffiti art, solidifying her place as a local alternative style icon. Sports continued to expand her splorts horizons with the creation of the Urban Biathlon in XX18. This splort combines urban rollerblading along a predetermined course, with points awarded for trick difficulty and frequency, with periodic graffiti tagging of various surfaces and objects, with points awarded for style, originality, and how mad the graffiti will make some jerk at City Hall.

Blaseball Career

Conflicting reports exist of Sports' entry to the world of blaseball, but it is generally agreed that she came on the scene with a bang during game 62 of Season 7 following the incineration of Murray Pony. "I could have sworn I saw her fly out of a sinkhole, like some kind of reverse crash landing," said teammate Peanut Bong, who was not pitching that game. "No, all of us in the dugout saw her skate in and graffiti Mr. Wide's back while he was watching from the tunnel. He turned around to look for her and on his back was her complete resume. It was really impressive," said batter Raúl Leal. "All I know is she was tagging a hlotdog cart when I heard Mr. Wide yell 'YOU PLAY FOR US NOW,' and then she went and hit a triple," said Don Elliott. Sports has brought a more aggressive revolutionary spirit to the Dale, exemplified by her campaign to "tag the Gods."

Popular Depictions of First Game

Lightning strikes over and over as former batter Murray Pony is returned to dust, thunder echoing over the stands of Worldwide Field. There is one last boom, louder than any before, as something smashes a deep crater into the asphalt of Lot J. Moments later, the stands turn to the sound of wheels grinding along the railing behind the dugout. A figure dances—no, rollerblades—along the edge of the field, spraying graffiti over the advertisements on the wall: BOOM! in bright pink and aqua. Cannonball Sports skates up to the plate.
—Author Unknown

Abs of vibesbranium
Making a big splash
bat of titanium
hair of gray ash
Cannon the sportsball
Was a rad and vibin soul
With vibesbranium abs and her muscles swole
And her body wet and cold

Cannon the sportsball was a blaseball tale they say
She came from the ground
With a booming sound
Reverse cannonball partay

There must have been some magic in
That pony angel's ash
For when it fell upon the ground
It birthed a cannon crash

The fans in the stands are cheering
And the beats be popping
And its the bottom of the seventh inning
Party foam party foam party foam

THUMPITY THUMP THUMP THUMPITY THUMP THUMP TURN THE SPEAKERS UP

—Author Unknown

Time in San Francisco

Cannonball, during the various offseasons she experienced as a member of the Miami Dale, had produced quite the repertoire of street art, to the point that she now struggled to find space for new murals. Because of this, she sought out new stomping grounds for her art projects, due to the thriving street art scene in the San Francisco East Bay that is at the heart of the Romantic Collaborative of San Francisco, and a desire to test out their brand new grind rail.

However, due to an error in the application form, Cannonball instead ended up on the pitching rotation of the San Francisco Lovers, rather than in their Lineup as she had intended. However, Cannonball took this new role in stride, deciding that testing out the rail could wait. She bonded with her fellow Pitcher Karato Bean, the two of them taking trips down to Capitola together during the Siestas in order to surf, doing graffiti in her spare time.

However, after an initial season spent integrating herself in the team, everything was shaken up with the arrival of one Pitching Machine. While she had withheld from destroying it as a Pitcher on the Tacos, and hadn’t been able to get to it during its time on the Garages & the Worms, being put directly on a team with it forced Cannonball to reconsider her previous hardline stance.

Steadily, she grew to respect the batting skills of the machine designed only to pitch, and soon, to respect the machine not only as a player, but as a friend. Other members of the team noted the closeness of the two, and speculation arose about the exact status of their relationship. The two of them departed on good terms, Cannonball doing her best to be understanding of the arrangement, but the nature of the art she produced following its departure, soulful depictions of broken pitching machines, tells another story.

Even so, it was at this point the accounting error was corrected, resulting in Cannonball being moved to the Lineup, and finally getting to test out that grind rail. Which, for her, was a fine consolation.

Time in the Core

It has been said that Sports skated into the Core at the time when she was most needed. The Mechanics were eyeing a shot at the championship, but had some players who had other priorities like looking cute or causing trouble.

While no one knows for sure whether Sports and Foxy Pebble in some way planned or influenced their Feedback, both players certainly seemed to fit in well where they ended up. The Mechanics had - if not infinite, certainly an unknowably large amount of - space for her to do her art and were all excited to see Sports unleash her talent all over it. When asked about her work, Sports told reporters for the DownTown Tlimes that maintenance-tunnel art was pretty different from street art but that she was having a great time figuring out how to incorporate new and varied environmental oddities into her creative process before doing a series of 360 degree loops away down one of the maintenance tunnels, spraying paint behind her as she went.

Following their arrival in the Core, Sports moved in with another recent Feedback to the Core, Christian Combs. The two were next to each other in the lineup and, while Combs had already been with the Mechanics for a few years, the pair quickly grew close.

It’s said that Sports and Combs would often go out to some of the larger spaces within the Core where the pair constructed an airship based off designs Combs had come up with earlier in their life. Sports acted as Combs’ First Mate, however passengers on the ship would note that other than Sports referring to Combs as Cap’n, the pair seemed to act as equals with very little sense of hierarchy between them.

Combs and Sports were often referred to as the Cannon Crew and would back each other up with plays, being a dominant and powerful pairing in the lineup. After becoming an Undertaker, Sports didn’t notice other players being swept Elsewhere but immediately dived in when Combs was swept away.

Alternate

During the dimensional flareup in the Core at the end of Season 21, Sports was Alternated. She reported feeling little to no difference and denied any claims that she was from another universe, heavily implying that it would be very hard for the ILB to find a replacement for her on such short notice. While the dimensional flareup was happening, she was being fitted with a prototype Arm Cannon by Bottles Suljak. The shift in reality seems to have made it a part of her, something which has bolstered her pitching but has proven cumbersome in batting. While she has stated that she was planning on being able to remove the Arm Cannon, she has figured out how to load it up with paintballs which has had some interesting artistic implications and has also decorated in a way that she has described as 'kinda dope tbh'. Despite offers from Suljak and other Mechanics to find a way to detach it, she has said that it feels like a part of her now and that she's very excited to be Cannonball pitching cannonballs. She followed that up by telling the Pillars Express that she would like to pitch now please and would appreciate it if Fans would let her pitch.

While Sports seemed remarkably unchanged by her Alternation, other Mechanics were impacted by the flareup much more deeply. Combs had also been Alternated and had been replaced by a version of themself from another universe. While the pair remained close, their relationship underwent some strain and Sports moved into her own flat.

Late Expansion

Sports remained a batter for the Mechanics, despite her new aptitude for pitching. Over the course of the end of the Era, Combs was Redacted following being struck by a pitch from Niq Nyong’o. Sports retreated into herself, barely paying attention in games unless batters walked her or struck her out.

During Season 24, the Mechanics headed for the Desert alongside other teams including the Hellmouth Sunbeams.

It was one of the first times Sports had seen Zack Sanders in some years, prompting some revelations about the nature of their relationship for her teammates. Sanders, who had heard about Sports being Alternated, was surprised to find her still openly very much the same person with full knowledge of their past.

Over the course of their time in the Desert it came out that the pair were actually married and had been for some time, though hadn’t been actively together for a while. Self-identified divorce connoisseur and teammate of Sports, Kelvin Drumsolo offered to put Sports in touch with zir lawyer, something which she was very quick to turn down.

It’s unknown if the pair actually reconnected during their time in the Desert but they were seen talking privately a few times and the initial awkward atmosphere between the two notably improved over time.


Fan Works