Cannonball Sports

From Blaseball Wiki

Cannonball Sports is a lineup player for the Core Mechanics, and has been with the team since Season 18, Day 58. Sports has played for the Miami Dale and the San Francisco Lovers.

Official League Records

Sports joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Miami Dale on Season 7, Day 62 after the incineration of Murray Pony.

On Season 7, Day 95, Sports' pitching ability was siphoned by Wesley Poole during Blooddrain weather.

During the Coffee Cup, Sports played for FWXBC as a lineup player.

Sports was traded to the San Francisco Lovers in exchange for Parker Meng during the Season 15 elections via the Dale's Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

During the Season 17 elections, Sports became a lineup player via the Lovers' Move will.

On Season 18, Day 58, Sports was exchanged to the Core Mechanics due to Feedback. Sports was replaced by Foxy Pebble.

During the Season 19 earlsiesta Sports was given the Undertaker modification as part of the seasonal reading.

During the Season 21 elections, Sports' alternate was called and arrived with the Negative modification as a result of the Handful Alternate Trust blessing.

On Season 22, Day 5, Sports retreated to the Mechanics' Shadows in exchange for Allan Kranch at the Core Pillar Center via the Ratified Voicemail. On Day 35, Sports rejoined the Mechanics' lineup in exchange for Augusto Reddick at the Core Pillar Center via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the Season 22 elections, Sports gained the Skipping modification as a result of the Record Scratch blessing.

Over the course of Season 23 until Day 84, Sports entered and exited the Mechanics' Shadows two times as a result of Core Pillar Center Voicemail events, ending the Season on the lineup.

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Overview

Cannonball Sports, sometimes called CB or CB Sports, is a batter for the Miami Dale. She is known for her raw strength, rollerblading skills, street fashion, hostility to authority, and possibly being made of stone. Sports has vitiligo and a number of graffiti-style tattoos, and is rarely seen without her headphones, rollerblades, and spray can.

Early Life

Sports is a Miami native, although there are conflicting reports of her origins. Many of her friends and neighbors say she was born in the XX80s in Hialeah, where she still lives near her parents, Rhiannon and Saul, and her brother, Cannonpaul. There is a widespread belief, however, that Sports was physically born from the Party Rock upon which the city sits. This belief is bolstered by reports that Sports's body, or parts of it, are made of stone. A profile in the popular extreme splorts blog Splorts Illest-rated: The Illest News in Splorts said that Sports "glitters like moonlight on the Bay, with streaks of white like bands of light reflected." Despite the questionably purple prose, this is good example of the popular depiction of Sports as made of a dark, shiny stone (obsidian?) with bands of white (believed to be Miami Oolite/limestone).

Skating Career

Sports started roller skating at a young age, and was a big name in the Miami roller derby scene before she even finished high school. Her notoriety as a derby skater initially led some people to believe that "Cannonball Sports" is a derby name, rather than her real name; however, in XX13, she went viral with the quote "with a name like mine, why would I ever need another?"

After winning the XX16 Miami Regional Derby Tournament with her longtime team, the Vice City Sirens, Sports set her sights on roller blading and hasn't looked back. She gained popularity outside the skating scene through her popular trick videos, bolstered by her growing interest in street fashion and art. During this time Sports got a large number of tattoos resembling graffiti art, solidifying her place as a local alternative style icon. Sports continued to expand her splorts horizons with the creation of the Urban Biathlon in XX18. This splort combines urban rollerblading along a predetermined course, with points awarded for trick difficulty and frequency, with periodic graffiti tagging of various surfaces and objects, with points awarded for style, originality, and how mad the graffiti will make some jerk at City Hall.

Blaseball Career

Conflicting reports exist of Sports' entry to the world of blaseball, but it is generally agreed that she came on the scene with a bang during game 62 of Season 7 following the incineration of Murray Pony. "I could have sworn I saw her fly out of a sinkhole, like some kind of reverse crash landing," said teammate Peanut Bong, who was not pitching that game. "No, all of us in the dugout saw her skate in and graffiti Mr. Wide's back while he was watching from the tunnel. He turned around to look for her and on his back was her complete resume. It was really impressive," said batter Raúl Leal. "All I know is she was tagging a hlotdog cart when I heard Mr. Wide yell 'YOU PLAY FOR US NOW,' and then she went and hit a triple," said Don Elliott. Sports has brought a more aggressive revolutionary spirit to the Dale, exemplified by her campaign to "tag the Gods."

Popular Depictions of First Game

Lightning strikes over and over as former batter Murray Pony is returned to dust, thunder echoing over the stands of Worldwide Field. There is one last boom, louder than any before, as something smashes a deep crater into the asphalt of Lot J. Moments later, the stands turn to the sound of wheels grinding along the railing behind the dugout. A figure dances—no, rollerblades—along the edge of the field, spraying graffiti over the advertisements on the wall: BOOM! in bright pink and aqua. Cannonball Sports skates up to the plate.
—Author Unknown

Abs of vibesbranium
Making a big splash
bat of titanium
hair of gray ash
Cannon the sportsball
Was a rad and vibin soul
With vibesbranium abs and her muscles swole
And her body wet and cold

Cannon the sportsball was a blaseball tale they say
She came from the ground
With a booming sound
Reverse cannonball partay

There must have been some magic in
That pony angel's ash
For when it fell upon the ground
It birthed a cannon crash

The fans in the stands are cheering
And the beats be popping
And its the bottom of the seventh inning
Party foam party foam party foam

THUMPITY THUMP THUMP THUMPITY THUMP THUMP TURN THE SPEAKERS UP

—Author Unknown

Time in San Francisco

Cannonball, during the various offseasons she experienced as a member of the Miami Dale, had produced quite the repertoire of street art, to the point that she now struggled to find space for new murals. Because of this, she sought out new stomping grounds for her art projects, due to the thriving street art scene in the San Francisco East Bay that is at the heart of the Romantic Collaborative of San Francisco, and a desire to test out their brand new grind rail.

However, due to an error in the application form, Cannonball instead ended up on the pitching rotation of the San Francisco Lovers, rather than in their Lineup as she had intended. However, Cannonball took this new role in stride, deciding that testing out the rail could wait. She bonded with her fellow Pitcher Karato Bean, the two of them taking trips down to Capitola together during the Siestas in order to surf, doing graffiti in her spare time.

However, after an initial season spent integrating herself in the team, everything was shaken up with the arrival of one Pitching Machine. While she had withheld from destroying it as a Pitcher on the Tacos, and hadn’t been able to get to it during its time on the Garages & the Worms, being put directly on a team with it forced Cannonball to reconsider her previous hardline stance.

Steadily, she grew to respect the batting skills of the machine designed only to pitch, and soon, to respect the machine not only as a player, but as a friend. Other members of the team noted the closeness of the two, and speculation arose about the exact status of their relationship. The two of them departed on good terms, Cannonball doing her best to be understanding of the arrangement, but the nature of the art she produced following its departure, soulful depictions of broken pitching machines, tells another story.

Even so, it was at this point the accounting error was corrected, resulting in Cannonball being moved to the Lineup, and finally getting to test out that grind rail. Which, for her, was a fine consolation.

Fan Works