Jaxon Buckley

From Blaseball Wiki

Jaxon Buckley is a pitcher for the Core Mechanics and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Buckley has previously played for the Philly Pies. Additionally, Buckley played for the Rising Stars during the ILB Semi-Centennial.

Official League Records

Buckley joined the league on Season β6, Day 95 as a -star hitter for the Philly Pies, after the incineration of Mickey Woods.

In the Season β8 Elections, Buckley was subjected to Who? You too?, which would steal the least popular player in the league and max their stats. In a twist of fate, the Pies won this Blessing, but because Buckley was already on the Pies, Buckley remained with the team while earning maximum batting stats.

During the Season β9 election, Buckley received Fire Eater due to the passing of the Forecast: Eclipse decree.

During the Coffee Cup, Buckley played for the Light & Sweet Electric Co. as a lineup player.

On Season β16, Day 99, Buckley was named an MVP and gained the Ego+ modification.

On Season β22, Day 83, Buckley picked up The Fifth Base from the George Fourman Stadium. On Day 84, The Fifth Base was stolen from Buckley by Baldwin Breadwinner from the same stadium via the Ratified Tunnels. During the Season β22 elections, Buckley gained the Subtractor modification as a result of the Subtractor Avoidance blessing.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Buckley played for the Rising Stars. Buckley then returned to the Philly Pies as a pitcher.

Buckley ended the Expansion Era with 7.4 in Batting, 4.7 in Pitching, 4.3 in Baserunning, and 4.1 in Defense. Buckley had a Wooden Helmet and the Fire Eater, Subtractor, Ego+++, and Magmatic modifications.

During the November 18, 2022 Fall Ball, Buckley fell to the Core Mechanics. On Season 1, Day 1 of the Return(s), Buckley became a pitcher for the Mechanics.

Biographical Information

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Jaxon Buckley (they/he) was born the fifth child of a large family in Hackensack, New Jersey. Suffering badly from middle child syndrome from being wedged solidly in the middle of eight siblings, young Buckley dreamed of standing out. Obsessed with hlorses, the old west, and cowboy poets, Buckley fantasized of becoming a cowpoke poet themselves.

Displaying a modicum of athletic talent in college, Buckley was recruited by the Trenton Centrists, where they spent several years refining their cowpoke aesthetic and serving as the team’s poet laureate. Buckley's focus on the poetry and hlorseriding aspects of their life, combined with their fierce commitment to economic justice, rendered them largely a benchwarmer, until a tragic riding accident cost them their arms.

While in the hospital, a mysterious and anonymous benefactor sponsored Buckley to receive a new set of experimental prosthetics. Buckley’s new metal arms proved a crowd draw at Centrists games, and when the sudden incineration of Mickey Woods left a hole in the Philly Pies roster, Buckley was called up.

Since moving to Philly, Buckley has taken the opportunity to join up with the Urban Rliders, a city-based hlorse-riding/cowpoke organization. This community of cowpokes finally gives Buckley the fellowship they’ve sought for so long, even as they try eagerly to win over the hearts of the grieving Philly flans.

Postseason 8 and Experimental Cybernetics

After the Philly Pies' defeat in the semifinals of the β8th season ILB, Jaxon Buckley received approval for a series of experimental cybernetic procedures, including the upgrading of their arms, and the implementation of nanomachines. These procedures were made possible by the discovery that Jessica Telephone's signature brand SK8 JUICE was a perfect suspension fluid for the nanomachines, and provided coolant to the arms.

Financing for the procedure was secured by a sponsorship deal with a vape juice company, also obtained due to Telephone, during her brief stint outside of the peanut shell during Season 8.

The nanomachines and new arms have massive power requirements, causing Buckley to go through several battery packs every at bat. While the cybernetics look impressive - particularly the horsehead pauldrons with glowing eyes - approximately 99.5% of the power used goes to powering the RGB lights that are responsible for Buckley's now iconic glow.

Procedure documentation obtained after the cybernetics' installation offer little evidence that the upgrades are the cause for Buckley's recent improvement in blaseball playing, as the majority of changes to the cybernetics were simply made to allow the implementation of the RGB Lights. Whether Buckley is aware of this fact is unknown, and it may be that the power to be a star hitter was inside him all along. In an interview about the procedures, Buckley said this.

"Ya know, tha one thing I can say is that tha glow I've been givin' off has been givin' our pitchers a mighty bit of trouble keepin' the blaseballs on target. Hopin' we can make a strategy outa' that next season."

A Short Story on Jaxon Buckley

Space twists. Dimensions shiver. Something new springs forth. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-89.110 out of its Rumor Registry...

Bigfoot Enthusiast

During their free time, Buckley devotes their time to their hobby, "Bigfoot Hunting". During these trips, which can last from a few days to several weeks, Buckley disappears into the many forests and valleys of Pennsylvania, accompanied only by their horse, Fletcher, and any friends or colleagues unfortunate enough to give it a go.

Buckley's "Skunk Ape" Kit consists of assorted camping gear, rations, revolver (loaded with store-bought firecrackers) and several trail cameras, including Buckley's custom made "underslung" trail camera, worn under the neck by Fletcher (A device Buckley claims lets them "really see what's coming"). Buckley's hunting gear is also aided by their "Deer piss flask", a small bottle of concentrated deer piss, used for disguising both Buckley and their companions scents as that of "A seriously ill deer". Though never intended as a hunting aid, Buckley credits the Deer Piss Flask to their late grandfather, whose portrait is engraved onto the bottle.

Despite Buckley's careful preparations, they have yet to record a definitive sighting of a Bigfoot, citing their wily and cautious nature, though they have recorded several verifiable tracks, calls, and spirit box encounters across their career , making them an expert among the "BF Hunter" community. Buckley has also recorded several accidental sightings of a "Loch Ness", and describes the encounters as "really not what I'm looking for".

Buckley's hobby is respected (and sometimes joined) by their fellow Blaseball players, most notably Lang Richardson, with whom Buckley discusses paranormal hunting techniques, and the late Jessica Telephone, who frequently engaged Buckley about the plausibility of "Bigfoot Weed" and "Bigfoot Liquor".


  • Chews cinnamon bark like tobacco. Frequent spitter.
  • Rides their hlorse Fl’tch’r up to the plate. Greets umpires and catchers with a friendly, "Howdy!"
  • Wears a cowboy hat, vest, and chaps at all times. Over the uniform. Hat goes under the helmet when batting.
  • Prone to breaking out a guitar and singing cowpoke poems to anyone who will listen.
  • Staunch socialist.
  • Buckley insists on riding Fl’tch’r when running the bases. This is not as much an advantage as it might seem as Fl’tch’r is surprisingly slow and Buckley loses precious time having to mount up after getting a hit.
  • Fl'tch'r seems to be absolutely terrified of former Pies player Summers Pony and quickly flees at the mere sight of them.
  • Fan's celebrate Buckley's homeruns by chanting "BE ROOTIN'/BE TOOTIN'/AND BY GOD/BE SHOOTIN'/BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY/BE KIND"
  • Knows how to sew and enjoys customizing own clothing
  • Buckley has spend a notable amount of time Elsewhere, most notably 39 days in Season β16 and the entire siesta between Seasons β14 and β15.
  • Of all the pies, Buckley considers themself closest to Yusef Puddles

Fan Works