Official League Records
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Kelvin Andante was born REDACTED in REDACTED to parents REDACTED. Records from REDACTED show that Andante was an academic child, placing highly in several Spelling Blees as well as achieving 'Most Improved' in the REDACTED hlandwriting competition 7 years in a row. Andante was reportedly not particularly athletic, struggling with hand eye coordination. Ey were diagnosed with Dyspraxia and comorbid Dysgraphia at the age of four.
Early Blaseball Career
Information on Andante's teen years is hard to come by. It seems that ey joined local little league Blaseball team, the REDACTED, at around 14 based on one picture published in a local newspaper claiming to depict the team's shadows players. The image shows an individual identifiable as Andante along with 18 other unidentified young adults, though without eir signature Unfire hair. It was republished by the same paper several years later with the caption 'Andrews at 15 with the rest of the shadows team', indicating that this might be the only picture containing star little leagues pitcher Kevin Andrews who holds the oft-disputed honour of having the owest absolute career ERA in the entire splort.
While Andante has confirmed that the image does show em, the REDACTED have no record of a player by eir name ever entering active play. This indicates that Andante spent eir early career entirely in the shadows.
While Andante's name was not explicitly tied to the scandal that rocked local play following the incineration of Arnaldo Caveat several minutes after being brought up from the shadows in the Season B32 local elections, REDACTED were deeply entangled in the revelations and it is highly likely that Andante was still on the team at the time due to there being no records of transfer or death.
Initially discussion was more about general little league culture and polls indicated that public opinion was that shadows players performed a vital role by being available to take hits for the team via coming up to e targets or cushions for aggressive blessings or to play in dangerous seasons. It was Kevin Andrews' famous intervew in which Andrews told several stores surrounding the treament of the REDACTED shadows with tales of players being idoled as incineration targets or sent to different teams to avoid star players being lost, in addition to Andrews' own story of being alternated several times due to the Season B11 election's Reforge the Link blessing caused a significant shift in public response.
As blaseball historians will know, this ultimately failed to persuade either team or league management and in the end the movement died with very little impact on the overall treatment of shadows players. The only real change was the eventual exit ofAndrews from play. While this might usually have generated more press attention, it was announced a day before the Descension of four teams into Internet League Blaseball and so was quickly overshadowed.
Andante has never talked about eir time in the team's shadows or whether any of the testimony was based on eir experiences.
Arrival in the Core
In interviews, Andante has claimed that ey struggled with exposure to heat as an adult and found that life in REDACTED was too hot for em, stating that ey fell into the Core in an attempt to leave. Andante is known to be a member of U.P. and joined just prior to signing up for the Core Mechanics, and the official records of that organization state that Andante was found in a supply closet a few days before the Decension wearing what appeared to be a false moustache that fell off five minutes later.
The U.P. report goes on to state that Andante did find the temperature fluctuations in the Core challenging and became unwell, requiring medical intervention.
While Andante's medical records are heavily redacted due to REDACTED's policy, information on eir blood type is accessible. It seems that this was AA originally before becoming REDACTED and then Fire following eir arrival in the Core.
Musical Career and Romantic Life
There is little evidence that Andante had been a musician prior to arrival in the Core. However, 14 months after eir arrival, ey and fellow Core Resident Kelvin Drumsolo announced the formation of their indie-punk-folk-new wave-experimental band Kelvin and the Kelvins. While they initially only performed covers for friends at open mic nights they achieved some popularity within the Core and began writing their own music, often in collaboration with other musically orientated Core Mechanics.
The pair have confirmed that they are married.
Andante was not originally part of the blaseball team the Core Mechanics as ey were apparently in REDACTED while the team was winning their first championships. During the Descension, when it became clear that the team were going to return to Internet League Blaseball, Andante signed on and joined the Shadows. When asked, ey stated that ey were not expecting to have to play due to general lack of splorting talent but wanted to be with eir fellow Mechanics and help out where possible.
The friendship bracelets that many members of the team now sport are credited to Andante, who would often be seen making them while on the Bench.
In the Season 17 Elections, Andante was called up to the rotation in exchange for Core veteran Jolene Willowtree. Andante and Drumsolo were seen arguing after this and it was announced that Kelvin and the Kelvins were going on hiatus shortly after. Andante stated that while fans were expecting em to return to the shadows via the Core Pillar Center's newly built Fax Machine, ey were very excited to have the opportunity to play. Andante initially proved unskilled on the mound, but seemed to have an odd habit of suddenly playing with surprising talent and failing to give up the required 10 runs. Due to the coincidental timing of Andante's arrival in the Core and Andrews' exit from little leagues play as well as reports of some physical similarities, rumours have arisen that the two are in someway connected. When asked, Andante apparently pressed down firmly on eir mustache which one fan noted seemed to be falling off and stated that while ey 'knew ol' Kev back in the day', Andrews had not had a mustache. Andante returned to the shadows after Season 18 day 84, stating that ey’d had eir fun but that if the team really wanted to win it, they’d need someone a bit more serious in play.
During the Season 18 Election, the Mechanics voted to Alternate-Trust Andante. The idea had been seeded early in the season due to Andante's apparent difficulties as a pitcher.
Andante has stated that eir original self was 'for certain 100% banished to another universe forever never to return.' The Andante who took eir space in the Mechanic's shadows is apparently 'absolutely a different player' and ey definitely are 'not just using [eir] incredible pitching skills to simply perform slightly less badly in a different way.' Ey also feel 'no loyalty to the team or the league' and have 'no motivation to improve [eir] pitching' so that ey can 'perform better and potentially play again' and there is 'no reason' why ey would 'fake being an Alternate in order to improve [eir] official star count without exposing [emself] as a star fraudster' because ey are 'definitely not committing star fraud.'
All of the above quotes are taken from eir response to a question about eir favourite brand of chips during a post game interview in Season 19.
Unbeknownst to the apparently alternate Andante, there was a heavy (or rather, Unheavy) price for eir alleged reality swap. Eir soul became Negative and on occasion ey have been noted to levitate both emself and blaseballs.
Andante allegedly felt that these aesthetic shifts were 'way less cool than I was expecting - I mean last time I got unfire hair and awesome pitching abiliti - wait are you writing this down I've never been alternated before who would ever have alternated me before! Hey! Stop writing!' and according to colleagues took drastic steps to make the impact of eir alternation more extreme, which apparently led to structural damage to eir residence. Andante has been described as having a 'total color scheme overhaul', with one Mechanic stating that 'blue hair Kelvin is purple now and I've had to come up with an entirely new class of Kelvin classification'. Bandmate and colleague Drumsolo has, perhaps relatedly, begun insisting that zir spouse is in a parallel dimension now and that it is 'very tragic that ey've been replaced by a legally distinct shampoo stealing bathroom destroying stranger but it is what it is' and has also stated that ze's grateful that zir 'divorce count has reset because oof'.
Andante is a median system comprised of several headmates who mostly go by 'Kelvin Andante'.
Headmates mentioned by Andante include:
- Bagels, a headmate who mostly only fronts when making bagels or certain other baked foodstuffs including pretzels and brioche.
- Not!Pitching Machine, a headmate who is not a pitching machine but fronts when pitching badly.
- Kelvin Kelvin Andante.
- Farenheit Guitarriff, a headmate who is possibly just made up to screw with people but also possibly exists.
Publication of this material was authorized by REDACTED.
- Records outside of Internet League play are hard to come by so not only is Andrews' actual ERA not a matter of public knowledge, it is also impossible to say what the actual lowest career ERA is.
- The Reforge the Link blessing stated that it would reroll the ten players with the lowest star count on the team. While it was believed that this would apply only to active players, it in fact targeted the entire roster leading to shadows player Kevin Andrews being alternated. Due to Andrews' alternates also falling behind the rest of the team, Andrews was alternated ten times. The machinery used to mimic divine action broke down following this mass alternation, leading to Andrews' alternates actually combining together and leaving the resultant summed Andrewses with the pitching skill that caused a meteoric rise to fame.
- While the official statement is that Andrews retired, a vocal subset of fans insist that Andrews was either murdered or fled. There is little evidence of this.
- Uncorroborated due to the lack of pictures showing Andrews.
- The act of falsifying one's stars so that they are not representative of true ability.
|Stats||Season||12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24|
|Ballpark||Core Pillar Center|
|Staff||ORBIT · Glolfbot · Horse Mister|
|Places||The Core · DownTown · The Manual · The Pillars (Structure) · The Shattered Pillar|
|History||Core Mechanics History · Core Organizations · Core Bestiary|
|Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏|
|We Can Fix This|