MeatCute the Abstract Force of Romantic Fate

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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.



Meatcute is the mascot for the San Francisco Lovers.

Meatcute loves you. While those unfamiliar might find its outward appearance as a hyper-realistic REDACTED heart off-putting, its team and fans adore it for its love of everyone and everything. MeatCute is an incredibly wholesome being who embodies the abstract force of romantic fate, and the power of love.

Meatcute is kept securely contained in its Playpen. Do not feed MeatCute. MeatCute has no "need" to consume physical matter. Feeding MeatCute is strictly forbidden. If someone were to feed MeatCute, it would "...REDACTED blood and meat REDACTED than REDACTED," according to Ortiz Lopez. The Playpen is fitted with multiple speakers, to let MeatCute hear how much the team loves it.

When asked about their opinions on MeatCute, the following players had this to say:

"I love MeatCute and MeatCute loves everyone" — Don Mitchell

"I love MeatCute and MeatCute loves everyone" — Theo King

"I love MeatCute and MeatCute loves everyone" — Kichiro Guerra Prime

"............." — Sigmund Castillo

Ever since The Grand Unslam, there have been reports of duplicate MeatCutes found in and around the Polyhedron. Lovers staff urges that sightings of any duplicate MeatCute should be reported immediately to the nearest authority.

Researchers suggest that the Hungry Heart should be kept in a place of powerful love, and adored at least once per day. This keeps MeatCute happy, and prevents Incidents. As such, the PolyHedron makes for an ideal storage location. Rarely, researchers speculate on what happens if, or when, MeatCute will be fed. Their speculative papers were burned during peer review, to prevent catastrophic decisions.

MeatCute loves you. MeatCute loves everyone.