Official League Record
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
His Majesty King Roland (any/all) is the current monarch of the Royal Kingdom of San Francisco. He is a short, slender man with snowy white hair, which is always topped with a rose gold crown. He wears expensive medieval finery, and occasionally dons a set of armor so ornamental that it would be useless in protecting him.
Roland is largely known for his foul personality. He is incredibly arrogant and self-absorbed, with a staggering level of overconfidence in his mediocre abilities, and he is quick to assert how superior he is to anyone around him. His wealth and his position as king have made him incredibly entitled, believing that the world should bend to his whims. While he means no harm, his thoughtless rudeness often offends others. Even when he attempts generosity, his compliments are often unwittingly backhanded, and his frequent gifts are inappropriately expensive.
Underneath it all, he simply craves attention, affection, and respect, but he has absolutely no idea how to go about obtaining them legitimately.
Roland is incredibly wealthy, due to the fact that his father is a Silicon Valley tech elite from the corporation that bought out the Meh.com shopping empire.
When an out-of-hand ren faire evolved into the Royal Kingdom and Queen King I rose to power, Roland secured a place as a nobleman in her court by funding a large portion of the period-accurate renovations the new kingdom required. He developed a tense relationship with the crown prince, Theo King—the two openly did not get along, but Roland had to deny the attraction he felt towards Theo’s genuine, humble confidence, while Theo couldn’t shake the soft spot he developed by seeing through to Roland’s inner insecurities.
At the same time, Roland had been charmed by the court’s resident knight in shining armor, Knight Triumphant. He expressed this crush by regularly giving them frivolous orders, and Knight fulfilling them only added fuel to the fire.
When Queen King I passed away, Roland was both a little pleased and very jealous to watch Theo take the throne. When Theo then abandoned the crown, and him, to run off with Knight and start the Romantic Collaborative of San Francisco, he was furious.
After a small period of chaos following Theo’s abdication that allowed Theo and Knight to claim one fourth of the Kingdom’s territory for the Collaborative, King Roland was able to take control of the throne by throwing more cash around. He did his best to improve the Kingdom with his rule, but was clumsy and ill-informed in his attempts.
Several years into his rule, Roland claimed to have successfully “fixed” the kingdom, allotting himself much more free time. Still having a minor obsession with Theo and Knight’s “betrayal”, he managed to get recruited onto the San Francisco Lovers Blaseball team, in order to “extend an olive branch” to the Romantic Collaborative.
In addition to his romantic tension with Theo and Knight, Roland has had failed attempts at relationships with several other Lovers.
When Roland was a late teen, in the midst of his father’s company’s acquisition of Meh.com, he met Kennedy Meh, former heir to the website. The two had a short, messy relationship, which Kennedy still taunts him about.
As a young adult, Roland briefly courted Ortiz Lopez, who was taken in by his gifts of expensive jewelry. She couldn’t take his personality for too long, and promptly dumped him. Over time the sting of rejection has faded and he has started to contemplate the advice she gave him during the break up.
Before Helga Moreno left the royal court for the Collaborative, the princess character she LARPed as had a political betrothal to Roland’s character. He attempted to extend this relationship into their everyday life, but she didn't feel the same way.
Unbeknownst to him, Don Mitchell has been robbing his estate for years.
- Roland attempts to speak in Ye Olde English to sound dignified, but is very inconsistent in its usage, leading to random uses of “thou” and “verb-eth” strewn throughout his speech.
- Roland is an avid fan of jlousting, but is abysmal at the splort. That doesn’t stop him from carrying around a custom made “lance bat” during Blaseball, despite the fact that he is a pitcher.
- He has a pitcher’s mitt made of silk and velvet named Durandal. It is just as unsuited for play as it sounds.
- He employs a team of squires to handle “period inaccurate” technology for him, forcing them to either read or transcribe electronic content so that he doesn’t have to look at a screen.
- Roland is often accompanied by a pair of large, dimwitted bodyguards named Rozen and Thorne. They serve more to stroke his immense ego than to protect him.
- Roland claims to be a period accuracy purist, but when Bontgomery Mullock points out the weird mix of medieval and renaissance inaccuracies riddling the Royal Kingdom, he refuses to acknowledge them.