Percival Wheeler

From Blaseball Wiki

Percival Wheeler was a pitcher for the San Francisco Lovers, and was with the team from the Season β21 elections until Fall Ball. Wheeler has previously played for the Hawai'i Fridays.

Official League Records

Wheeler joined the ILB as a pitcher for the San Francisco Lovers with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season β13 elections, Wheeler retreated to the Lovers' Shadows in exchange for King Roland as a result of the Lovers' Foreshadow will, resulting in a combined 11.9 12.5 stat increase.

During the Season β14 elections, Wheeler rejoined the Lovers' active roster in exchange for Helga Burton as a result of the Lovers' Foreshadow will, becoming a lineup player in the process.

On Season β21, Day 70, Wheeler was exchanged to the Hawai'i Fridays due to Feedback. Wheeler was replaced by Jacob Winner.

Wheeler was traded to the San Francisco Lovers in exchange for Bates Bentley during the Season β21 elections via the Lovers' Equivalent Exchange will.

Over the course of Season β23 until Day 86, Wheeler entered and exited the Lovers' Shadows four times as a result of San Franstadium Fax Machine and Voicemail events, ending the Season on the pitching rotation.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Blaseball Career

Wheeler (she/her) is best known for her "Knighthood MAX" pitch, which comes with a charge of cavalry units across the field, Percival "Percy" Wheeler is an avid fan of chivalric etiquette. She has been known to take tokens of affection from fans and rivals alike and wear them into battle games. While the most likely to start a fight of the Lovers, Wheeler is also the most likely to end one by asking her opponent on a date.

Knight Triumphant met Wheeler when she fell from a time portal and ended up crashing into Triumphant's bowl of oatmeal. Due to this time portal, which supposedly lead to a land of Arthurian Myth, Wheeler's appearance constantly fluctuates between that of a knight in shining armor, a single tire with a glove taped to it, and a 1940s airline attendant, the three most chivalrous things that Wheeler can personally think of. This fluctuation has, as time has gone on, settled into Wheeler's primary form of knight, but occasionally can be triggered on purpose to fit Wheeler's needs.

While initially wanting to be a batter for the team because it seemed "more like swinging a sword, wouldn't you say loves?" Triumphant requested she stick to the mound when she refused to remove her armor for blaserunning. "It just isn't practical, my sweet, I mean, we really should put those guns to good use," Triumphant was heard to have said in the privacy of their kitchen.

Wheeler enjoys long walks on the blaseball field. She can often be found walking the opposing team's lineup just so that she can walk alongside them, holding hands, towards home base. In her time as co-captain Parker Meng tried to break her of this bad habit, to little effect.

Since joining the lineup in Season 14, Wheeler has shown an amazing aptitude for "Grinding yonder sick rail" and hitting dingers. Her fantastic performance as a batter is largely thought to be because of their mastery and control of a batsword, honed over years of swordplay and practice with a blade.

Pre-Blaseball Background

Being descended from a portal in time, Percival Wheeler spent most of their pre-blaseball life as a practicing and questing knight. As such they have a history of slaying monsters of all kinds, including dragons, sea serpents, trolls and ogres of all kinds. In interviews Wheeler has been known to talk at length about various battle scars and blemishes, telling the stories of each one and what caused it. As such they are fairly unfazed by the vast variety of creatures and creeds presented in Blaseball.

Upon coming to the present Wheeler was shocked, and maybe a bit delighted, to find that their exploits had lasted into the modern day. When questioned about the accuracy of the events as portrayed in the literary record by Professor Nerd Pacheco, Wheeler laughed raucously and spent several hours filling Pacheco in on the particulars of various quests, battles, and that those stories had been heavily edited to exclude the racial and gender identities of various knights Wheeler knew personally, as evidenced by her own appearance and portrayal in history. She was quoted by Pacheco in a paper as saying, "Lancelot had the most beautiful dark skin I had ever seen, and ze was gorgeous to boot, it's appalling that our selfhood was so heavily redacted throughout history!" Since this initial interview Wheeler has spent much of their downtime speaking with various scholars and historians, as a part of living history.

Wheeler was disappointed to find that given the assumption that their life events were fantasy or strictly literary in nature, there was nowhere established they could travel to pay her respects to their former king and fellow knights.

In addition to this Wheeler is familiar with several entities of timeless experience, including having crossed arms with Usurper Violet multiple times in the past and present, finding Thomas Dracaena terribly familiar but not being able to put her finger on it exactly, and having heard tales of Landry Violence long before ever meeting them on the field of play.

In their originating timeline Wheeler was engaged romantically with a silver dragon by the name of Silvia Winner, but has not yet acknowledged any glaringly obvious similarities to her former paramour in the definitely human Lovers pitcher of the same name.

Personal Life and Relationships

Wheeler's been well known for being a bit of a "player" in the ILB, fostering relationships and actively flirting on the field and off throughout the entire discipline era. Since the Grand Siesta Wheeler has mellowed a bit with age, focusing less on expanding her polycule and more on fostering the existing relationships she had cultivated.

Notable relationships Percival Wheeler is in include:

By many reports engaged, potentially married, to former teammate Jaylen Hotdogfingers, though no official statement from either party other than "Hey mind your business" has been made, despite the two cohabitating for the majority of the time Jaylen Hotdogfingers was on the Lovers.

In a long term committed life partnership with Knight Triumphant.

In an ongoing enemies to lovers arc with Usurper Violet who they have known since Wheeler resided in the past. Since reuniting in the present it has been more lovers less enemies.

In a committed life partnership with Theo King.

In a committed partners in crimeship with Don Mitchell.

Married to Ortiz Lopez as of Season 6. This was largely reported as being "so they could both throw a huge party and have fun with their friends and family" but both of them have, in interviews, stated that their commitment to each other is very serious. Press coverage of the wedding also portrayed it as a fairly heartfelt affair, with both parties crying at the altar.

In a state of intense mutual respect with Parker Meng.

Prior to their incineration Boyfriend Monreal was their Boyfriend.

Relationship with Knight Triumphant and Captainship

It is well known that Wheeler is exceptionally close with Knight Triumphant and has spent all of their blaseball career in a very committed relationship with them. Upon Knight leaving in diplomatic missions in Season 12, Wheeler was left a bit adrift, not having been told that Knight would be leaving the team. With encouragement and support from longtime friends and fellow Lovers players Milo Brown and Parker Meng, Wheeler managed to get through the hardest year in Lovers' history and work towards bridging the gap between the Romantic Collaborative of San Francisco and the Kingdom of San Francisco by swapping to the shadows and bringing forth the Kingdom's own King Roland.

Upon returning to active play in Season 14, Wheeler found the team once again without Knight, and took it in stride, supporting Parker Meng acting as solo captain, and taking over training duties for the lineup as needed to help Meng. Since Meng's swap to the Crabs, Wheeler has picked up more and more responsibility as in absentia captain, and reportedly said, "Oh thank the gods I'm so tired..." When post Season 17, Knight Triumphant returned to the team and resumed captaincy.

Since Triumphant's feedback in Season 18, Wheeler has stepped up as co-captains with Alexander Horne.

Suspected Marriage to Jaylen Hotdogfingers

During their time together on the Lovers over the Grand Siesta, Wheeler became incredibly close with Jaylen Hotdogfingers, becoming what some may call primary partners. They spent most of their time together and began cohabitating somewhere around the year and a half mark into the siesta, and reportedly obtained temporary guardianship of NaN. Since the start of the new Era, their relationship has been tested by multiple team swaps and the difficulty of distance, but in Season 13 Wheeler joined Hotdogfingers for their first year of retirement in the Shadows. Wheeler inevitably returned to Blaseball, but cites that year as one of the best in her life.

Since both of them resumed their careers on different teams, Wheeler and Hotdogfingers have started playfully flirting over the plate. Milo Brown was cited as saying, "It's so embarrassing. These are grown adults making goo-goo eyes at each other and saying stuff like "see you at home sweetie!" It's sooooooo embarrassing!" And hiding his face in his hands.

Horse Related Errata

Wheeler was known for pitching from horseback, which is in direct conflict with the rules of Blaseball stating that horses are not allowed. When asked about this she simply said, "You simply need to know the right person to ask, and then challenge them to a duel." Wheeler's horse's name is Wife and is a brindled mare.

Since rejoining the game in Season 14 as a batter, Wife has been retired (Wheeler claimed it was due to Wife being too old to be a decent fielding companion, but perhaps had more to do with keeping Wife out of the line of Umpire Fire) and lives a life of luxury in nearby Slan Jlose, with regular visits from Wheeler. The staff Wheeler hired have been reported as saying "if she could sleep in the barn every day, she would." And "I'm glad Wife is loved, but we have work to do and I wish they'd get outta our way!"

Fan Works