Sandford Garner

From Blaseball Wiki

Sandford Garner was a lineup player for the San Francisco Lovers, and was with the team from Season β3, Day 5 until Fall Ball.

Official League Records

Garner joined the ILB on Season β3, Day 5, following the incineration of Paul Barnes.

After the Season β4 Elections, Garner was affected by the Extra Elbows blessing two times, increasing his pitching ability by a total of 40% and bringing his rating up from to .

During the Coffee Cup, Garner played for Club de Calf as a pitcher.

Over the course of Season β23, Garner entered and exited the Lovers' Shadows two times as a result of San Franstadium Fax Machine and Voicemail events, ending the Season on the lineup.


The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Garner (he/him) is an incredibly handsome man in his mid-thirties, whose brown hair is marked by streaks of a premature but distinguished grey. He attended Ye Olde' San Francisco Law School in the Royal Kingdom of San Francisco. Upon earning his law degree and passing the BAR, he relocated to the Romantic Collaborative of San Francisco, where he met his partner Knight Triumphant. When not playing Blaseball, he works as a solicitor for Garner, Garner, Garner and Garner, a law firm he established with his three identical quadruplets.

It is reported that early in his Blaseball tryouts Garner kept distracting the local umpires with his extremely good looks. He made the team despite his incredible lack of Blaseball skills, largely because everyone liked looking at him so much. He was so attractive that other players would frequently inform him of his appearance in their dreams. This event was so common that it earned him the nickname "The Sandman".

Unbeknownst to most, Garner actually possesses the ability to enter the dreams of others while he sleeps. In his younger years, when he was more cutthroat with his law practice, he attempted to use this ability to gain an edge against defendants by searching their dreams for secrets he could use against them. However, he eventually had to accept that people's dreams are too much of a garbled mishmash to rely on for finding any sort of truthful information, even about unimportant things.

Over the years, the calming, spiritual nature of passing through others' dreams with no goals in mind began to mellow out Garner's attitude. One day, he found himself passing through the dreams of Triumphant, who was a lucid enough dreamer to recognize him as a foreign presence and strike up a conversation with him. Their meeting stuck with Garner, who began to seek out Triumphant's dreams every night, and then eventually seek them out in the waking world to start a relationship.

Garner was initially hesitant about joining Triumphant's proposed Blaseball team, but after meeting the rest of their teammates, he was too charmed by them to turn them down. He began walking through their dreams (with their consent) to learn more about them, originally not focusing on anywhere in particular—until he got to know Don Mitchell.

He was appalled to learn that Mitchell was an active, remorseless criminal, but couldn’t shake his inexplicable, powerful attraction to him. Unable to ignore his feelings or convince Mitchell to go straight, he eventually softened his views on Mitchell's brand of nonviolent, "steal from the rich" crime, and switched his law practice from prosecution to defense so that he could at least help keep his boyfriend out of jail.

A depiction of how Sandford's extra elbows benefit his pitching technique. @gfclass


  • After Season 4, due to an increase in elbows, it's now easier to tell Sandford apart from his brothers. It also greatly aids in his pitching prowess.