Jacob Winner

From Blaseball Wiki

Jacob Winner is a pitcher for the San Francisco Lovers, and has been with the team since Season 21, Day 70. Winner has played for the Hawai'i Fridays.

Official League Records

Winner joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Hawai'i Fridays with the Return of Blaseball.

Winner pitched a total of 135 innings in Season 2, ranking #1 in the category across the league.[citation needed]

At the end of Season 3, Winner had more road wins than any other pitcher in the Fridays' rotation.[citation needed]

On Season 5, Day 6, Winner became a lineup player due to Reverb.

During the Season 5 election, Winner's pitching and baserunning fell as a result of the Charleston Shoe Thieves' Bad Neighbors blessing.

During the Season 7 elections, Winner received the Idol Immune modification via the Humblebrag blessing.

During the Season 12 elections, Winner received the Flippers modification via the Fridays' Trust will.

During the Season 15 elections, Winner received the Affinity for Crows modification via the Bird Brain blessing.

On Season 21, Day 70, Winner was exchanged to the San Francisco Lovers due to Feedback. Winner was replaced by Percival Wheeler.

During the Season 21 elections, Winner joined the pitching rotation in exchange for Silvia Winner via the Lovers' Roster Swap Will.


COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Jacob Winner, born Jacob Wurst, decided to pursue a professional blaseball career after receiving the "Most Room for Improvement" trophy out of their little league team. When Winner went to Joff Blezos High School, they were known for their fierce competitive spirit and extreme splortsmanship; according to their coach, they were "the best ████ benchwarmer I've had the pleasure of sitting."

When an Underleague scout came to Blezos High, they told the team "I was tasked with finding a winner." Winner immediately changed their last name to fit this task, and they were recruited on the spot. However, when they underperformed in the Underleagues, they were exiled to the Sovereign Nation of Hawai'i where the Fridays found them washed up on a beach. They put a glove on their hand, and they have been their most winningest (by name) pitcher ever since. After being switched to a hitter, Winner has astounded fans by becoming the most winningest (by name) hitter as well, truly a double threat (by name) any team should respect.

Endorsements

Jacob Winner is one of the most heavily endorsed players in Blaseball in terms of both monetary value and body mass. Among his many sponsors include

  • Jacob Winner TV Dinner: The Dinner of the Winner is a brand of microwaveable TV Dinners available throughout Hawai'i. All flavors are health focused, like the "Get Shredded with Shredded Beef" and "Winner Winner Thinner Winner White Breast Chicken Dinner", and all famously come with a sliced pineapple dessert that mysteriously stays cold after 4 minutes in the microwave. During evening games, fans are known to withhold unwrapping their instant meals until after Winner scores a run.
  • Winner's 'waiian Weiners is a brand of hot dog produced by Redlondo. When Winner (briefly) pursued a ketogenic diet and declared WWWs "The best sausage to eat buns-free", the hot dog brand skyrocketed in popularity among nude beach goers.
  • Winnergreen Chew is a sugar-free chewing gum produced by Wrilgley. Winner has been trying to persuade teammate Spears Taylor to sign with Wrilgley as a spokesperson of Spearmint Chew and seems unable to understand just how anti-capitalist Taylor is.

Trivia

  • Before Winner joined the Fridays, the team gym was just some lounge chairs on the beach. Winner personally transported 20 different rocks to the beach for "the sick gains." Winner has offered to spot for the rest of the team, and while no one has taken his offer, they're happy to just support them in whatever way they need.
  • Winner's favorite frosty drink is whey protein in a coconut.
  • Winner loves grilled pineapple and puts it on everything but pizza.
  • Between blaseball and lifting, Winner spends their free time making pottery. They have pieces in a few galleries across the archipelago, and have even received two awards at competitions. An art critic for The Conch said of a recent exhibition that his work was "delicate, elegant, and thought-provoking... indicative of an early visionary who has not yet reached creative maturity." When asked if they would prefer to make pottery or play blaseball, Winner said, "They're both hella rad, bro! I don't see why I can't do both?"
  • Winner got their top surgery scars tattooed two years after they had finished healing. When asked about the significance of the artwork, Winner said, "Gotta be proud of your scars, yeah? Like how muscles gotta break to get bigger and stronger, scars are what make you, you."

Fan Works