Kurt Crueller

From Blaseball Wiki

Kurt Crueller was a lineup player for the San Francisco Lovers, and was with the team from Season β18, Day 14 until Fall Ball. Crueller has previously played for the Yellowstone Magic.

Official League Records

Crueller joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Yellowstone Magic on Season β13, Day 13 after the incineration of Sutton Picklestein.

During the Season β14 elections, Crueller's hitting was boosted from 1.8 3.0 as a result of the Precognition blessing. Crueller also lost their Peanut Allergy as a result of the Nut Button blessing.

In Season β15, on Day 78, Crueller, while Observed, entered a Secret Base in Yellowstone National (Ball)Park. Crueller was immediately Redacted, then emerged on the same day from another Secret Base in Choux Stadium with a never-before-seen modification called Attractor, the first player to have gained it. Crueller's Soulscream was gone, and their stats were significantly increased. Crueller was not successfully batted in and disappeared again.

On Season β18, Day 14, Crueller exited the Secret Base at San Franstadium. Upon being batted in by Knight Triumphant, Crueller joined the San Francisco Lovers' bench.

During the Season β20 elections, Crueller joined the Lovers' lineup in exchange for Tot Fox as a result of the Lovers' Swap will. Crueller's batting then increased from 7.1 8.9 as a result of the Lovers' Shadow Infuse will.

During the Season β22 elections, Crueller retreated to the Lovers' Shadows in exchange for Theo King as a result of the Lovers' Swap will. Crueller's Attractor modification was then reformed into the Walk in the Park modification as a result of the Lovers' Reform will.

On Season β23, Day 50, Crueller rejoined the Lovers' lineup in exchange for Theo King at San Franstadium via the Ratified Voicemail.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Kurt Crueller Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-26.445 and start reading...

Kurt is either an ex-criminal, a vengeful spirit, or possibly both? There's no easy way to tell, and he won't confirm either. They're a newcomer to both Yellowstone Magic as well as Blaseball as a whole but are turning out to fit in well with the team. Kurt appeared after the incineration of Sutton Picklestein, in which he took one survey of what had happened and hit an incoming ball so hard the bat cracked.

Kurt's not much of a person who talks about his past, but he will willing info-dump about fishing, bottle-cap buttons (of which they own a collection), and other topics that cement them as basically that weird older cousin who info-dumps to you at reunions but you never see otherwise. They've got an extensive collection of nice-looking knives and are fairly well known for preferring to be outdoors rather than in.

Kurt also has an emotional support animal in the form of a ferret that's often found resting atop his shoulders.

Fan Works