Freemium Seraph

From Blaseball Wiki

Freemium Seraph is a player in the Shadows for the Canada Moist Talkers, and has been with the team since the Season β21 elections. Seraph has played for the Tokyo Lift.

Official League Records

Seraph joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Tokyo Lift during the Season β10 elections after the Ascension of the Baltimore Crabs.

During the Season β13 elections, Seraph received the Flippers modification as a result of the Spare Flippers blessing.

During the Season β14 elections, Seraph's hitting stats were re-rolled thrice as a result of the Soul Swap blessing. (1.9 1.6 , 1.6 2.5 , 2.5 2.9 )

Seraph was traded to the Canada Moist Talkers in exchange for Cudi Di Batterino during the Season β21 elections via the Lift's Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

On Season β22, Day 25, Seraph retreated to the Moist Talkers' Shadows in exchange for Beasley Gloom as a result of the Gleek Arena's Fax Machine.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Freemium Seraph Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-1667 and start reading...

The waters beyond this point are uncharted, tales from distant shores echoed back into our reality.


The following accounts can be traced to a single leather-bound journal originally found in a locked wooden chest alongside a sextant-like device of indeterminate origin and a shell that matches no known species of mollusc. The chest was located in a storage room in the Legscraper’s lower levels that was described as “smelling faintly of the sea”. Subsequent attempts to locate and navigate to said room have been unsuccessful thus far. The journal details the exploits of the crew of a large sailing vessel, The Tokyo Adrift, descriptions of which are largely consistent with mid-17th century galleons.

With The Tokyo Adrift

Freemium Seraph is a crew member of The Tokyo Adrift, briefly mentioned in several excerpts of the journal. Information and background on Seraph is scarce and the little information available is incomplete at best and contradictory at worst. In one entry, Seraph is described as having “clammy grey skin” and appearing to “constantly give the impression that they had just emerged from the water”.

One fact that is consistent throughout descriptions of Seraph is their tendency to vanish from the crew of the vessel, only to return the next day with no recollection of their whereabouts. An entry dated to January 20 1666, the first full moon of the year, has Seraph disappearing while the ship had run aground on a sandbank. The crew had resolved to deal with the issue the next morning, but during the night, the vessel was dislodged and pushed free by a creature of indeterminate size. A rough sketch in the journal bears a resemblance to oceanic manta rays. Another incident finds the crew chasing down a mysterious shadow spotted by Grollis Zephyr from the crow’s nest, a long serpentine neck breaking the surface of the water silhouetted against the moonlight. The writer called members of the crew out from their bunks but found Seraph’s cot empty. On command of the captain, the crew set a course to investigate but were unable to get the ship close enough to get a good look at the creature. Water-dwelling members of the crew described the creature’s form as reptilian, with flipper like appendages to push it through the water.

Some have posited that Seraph's true identity is inextricably linked to the lunar-cycle based [REDACTED] of the events in 1667 however such claims are heavily disputed as they rely on evidence from the incomplete final entry of the journal, the latter half of which is written in a yet-uncracked runic cypher.

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