Abner Pothos

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Abner Pothos is a player for the Canada Moist Talkers, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Pothos has previously played for the Antarctic Fireballs during Pre-History I, Seattle Garages, and for the Rising Stars during the ILB Semi-Centennial.

Official League Records

Pothos was first seen as a pitcher for the Antarctic Fireballs after the Fireballs were revealed in the Library, under The First Day, 1st Edition in Pre-History I.

On unknown dates, Pothos was named an MVP a total of three times, resulting in the Ego+++ modification.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Pothos played for the Rising Stars. Pothos then fell to the Seattle Garages as a lineup player.

On Season 24, Day 4, Pothos retreated to the Garages' Shadows in exchange for Parker Parra at The Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the November 18, 2022 Fall Ball, Pothos fell to the Canada Moist Talkers.

Background

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The aftermath of the ILB Semi-Centennial was a difficult time for the Garages. Not only had they witnessed the Forgery of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, but Parker MacMillan's impending Roam around the league caused much worry. Castillo Turner's return to the rotation was something they expected. Finding two new players on the lineup, however, was not.

Abner Pothos ranks among the Garages' oldest players, although its exact age is unknown. When asked, it claimed that as a player from Pre-History, it was "technically about two thousand" years old. Pothos's teammates provided the immensely helpful clarification that Pothos is indeed "pretty old." Abner Pothos and Wyatt Pothos are distant relatives; Wyatt Pothos has explained the relationship as "I don't know. I think I'm its great-great-second-cousin or something. All I know is that it's even less sure than I am." Both are left-handed and share a blood type. Given the considerable turmoil in the league at the time, the two have agreed to remain at a distance for the time being.

Career on the Garages

Seattle news outlets have described Pothos's style of dress as "eccentric," "trendsetting," and "a little weird but kind of killing it?" Its usual jacket has a high collar, long coattails, and is heavily padded for warmth. It also has a collection of top hats, likewise modified for cold weather. Its outfit somewhat resembles that of a stage magician. This is likely intentional, as Pothos has displayed psychic powers on occasion. Although it was only part of the lineup for four games, attendees reported seeing it telekinetically lifting bats and bat-shaped objects in lieu of swinging them manually. Other mentions of supposed psychic powers and levitation are the subject of debate, as Pothos has also displayed a propensity for stage magic and sleight of hand.

Community

Pothos is Ashkenazi Jewish, and has been an active member of the Seattle-area Jewish community since its return to the world of the living. It frequently offers organizational support to local synagogues' community assistance programs in the Seattle area, and eventually helped establish the Big Garage Tzedakah Fund, a nonprofit that helps members of the community manage donations to others in need. Pothos has also provided translation services in Yiddish and Hebrew for the Seattle Garages Lil' Roadies Lil' Readers Language Workshops.

It is a noted socialist and has supported the Garages' mission as an anarcho-syndicalist collective. Shortly after joining the team, it re-established the Magicians' Union it claims to have run during its time as a Fireball. Members include Betsy Trombone, Nandy Fantastic, Mint Shupe, Borg Ruiz, Yeong-Ho Garcia, Scores Baserunner, Chorby Short, and several others, both Blaseball players and not. Meeting attendees agree that the union is "a really important tool for organizing and understanding each other" and also "a great place to go argue about random crap for like an hour," and as such, it fulfills the two main aims of anarcho-syndicalist meetings. Band members cited Pothos's influence when asked about the subsequent uptick in covers of union-themed folk songs in the band's discography.

Abner Pothos Reports

Pothos is a private person; as active as it is in the local community, it has requested that its personal life remain personal. Only a few sources around Seattle have managed to land a rare interview or otherwise learned something of Pothos from it or its teammates. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-97.098 out of its Rumor Registry...

Steely Dads! Interview

Excerpt from Steely Dads! episode #{null}, "Mulling Over Nulling: Pre-Historical Perspectives on the End of the World with Abner Pothos," hosted by Greer Gwiffin. The episode was recorded on Day 97, Season 24 and uploaded following the Garages' Nullification on Day 98, Season 24.

GREER GWIFFIN: Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't fade for Shadows. And that's really fascinatin' to me because — because Parker was just gone, y'know, and for a lot of the team, I figure that's the first time they've been unstable. Malik, he's downright used to it by now, I'd bet, and probably Alaynabella's felt it once, but it's only a week. Then it happens again, and again, it's only a week. And now everyone's got it for a third time, y'know, at minimum. But if you're a Shadow, well—
ABNER POTHOS: It never goes away.
GG: Right. I was about to ask, if you're willin' to talk?
AP: I've been unstable before, with the Fireballs.
GG: Right, right.
AP: When it first hits you, you think… you think I'm never going to forget this. Even if I make it out, I'll always remember this exact feeling.
GG: Like ridin' a bike.
AP: Mmh. Not as fun.
GG: Sure.
AP: You think that, and then… well, I've never felt it fade. So maybe, in a sense, I don't have that perspective that Malik has, or that Tot… had. But when Parker left again—
GG: "Again" bein' the first time for the Garages, the second time for you?
AP: Yes. When he left, it hit me all over again and — you do forget. Maybe not if it's only a couple weeks between, but for me? It's been so long that memories couldn't do it justice. It was — well, it really hit me. All I could think was…
GG: Take your time.
AP: I thought they were too soft. Parker being out, the world falling apart around them, and they were just cheering and rocking out. A few came right out and told me I was being disrespectful of all the crap they'd been through, and, well, we butted heads a few times after that.
GG: I bet. We went through a lot even before I started traveling. And after? I miss 'em, I do, but I'd be lyin' if I said I wish I'd been there for Season 15.
AP: Hah! Don't get me started on Consumers. All this is to say… going unstable again was one of the worst things that happened to me all season. And these kids are still out here on the active roster getting attacked, getting "Redacted" off to who knows where, blood draining and black holes expanding and everything else, and on top of that they're fighting through eclipses while they go unstable again every other week.
GG: It's a different league.
AP: It's a different league. I've still got some issues with how they do things, but I wish I'd believed them sooner.
GG: You apologize yet?
AP: I did.
GG: Good on you. That's a Gwisdom, y'know, one of the best ways to take self-care of, uh, of yourself, is by showin' you have self-care — I mean, showin' you care for your team. Especially when things are lookin' the way they've been lookin' all season, like tomorrow might be too late.
AP: Oy vey.
GG: Oy [expletive] vey.
GG: … Hey, that new kid with the fish tell you about the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus yet?

[end of excerpt]


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