Abner Pothos

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Abner Pothos is a player in the Shadows for the Seattle Garages and has been with the team since the Season 23 ILB Semi-Centennial game. Pothos has played for the Rising Stars, and was on the Antarctic Fireballs during Season A of Ultra League Blaseball.

Official League Records

History

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Pothos played for the Rising Stars. Pothos then fell to the Seattle Garages as a lineup player.

On Season 24, Day 4, Pothos retreated to the Garages' Shadows in exchange for Parker Parra at The Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility via the Ratified Voicemail.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Background

The aftermath of the ILB Semi-Centennial was a difficult time for the Garages. Not only had they witnessed the Forgery of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, but Parker MacMillan's impending Roam around the league caused much worry. Castillo Turner's return to the rotation was something they expected. Finding two new players on the lineup, however, was not.

Abner Pothos ranks among the Garages' oldest players, although its exact age is unknown. When asked, it claimed that as a player from Pre-History, it was "technically about two thousand" years old. Pothos's teammates provided the immensely helpful clarification that Pothos is indeed "pretty old." Abner Pothos and Wyatt Pothos are distant relatives; Wyatt Pothos has explained the relationship as "I don't know. I think I'm its great-great-second-cousin or something. All I know is that it's even less sure than I am." Both are left-handed and share a blood type. Given the considerable turmoil in the league at the time, the two have agreed to remain at a distance for the time being.

Career on the Garages

Seattle news outlets have described Pothos's style of dress as "eccentric," "trendsetting," and "a little weird but kind of killing it?" Its usual jacket has a high collar, long coattails, and is heavily padded for warmth. It also has a collection of top hats, likewise modified for cold weather. Its outfit somewhat resembles that of a stage magician. This is likely intentional, as Pothos has displayed psychic powers on occasion. Although it was only part of the lineup for four games, attendees reported seeing it telekinetically lifting bats and bat-shaped objects in lieu of swinging them manually. Other mentions of supposed psychic powers and levitation are the subject of debate, as Pothos has also displayed a propensity for stage magic and sleight of hand.

Community

Pothos is Ashkenazi Jewish, and has been an active member of the Seattle-area Jewish community since its return to the world of the living. It frequently offers organizational support to local synagogues' community assistance programs in the Seattle area, and eventually helped establish the Big Garage Tzedakah Fund, a nonprofit that helps members of the community manage donations to others in need. Pothos has also provided translation services in Yiddish and Hebrew for the Seattle Garages Lil' Roadies Lil' Readers Language Workshops.

It is a noted socialist and has supported the Garages' mission as an anarcho-syndicalist collective. Shortly after joining the team, it re-established the Magicians' Union it claims to have run during its time as a Fireball. Members include Betsy Trombone, Nandy Fantastic, Mint Shupe, Borg Ruiz, Yeong-Ho Garcia, Scores Baserunner, Chorby Short, and several others, both Blaseball players and not. Meeting attendees agree that the union is "a really important tool for organizing and understanding each other" and also "a great place to go argue about random crap for like an hour," and as such, it fulfills the two main aims of anarcho-syndicalist meetings. Band members cited Pothos's influence when asked about the subsequent uptick in covers of union-themed folk songs in the band's discography.

Abner Pothos Reports

Pothos is a private person; as active as it is in the local community, it has requested that its personal life remain personal. Only a few sources around Seattle have managed to land a rare interview or otherwise learned something of Pothos from it or its teammates. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-25.280 out of its Rumor Registry...

Lil' Roadies Interview

Excerpt from the Lil' Roadies Lil' Magazine front-page interview "Garages Gain Grumpy Geezer," written by Lil' Roadie Lee Rosenthal, age 6. The article ran on Gods' Day, Season 24.

LEE ROSENTHAL: Hi!
ABNER POTHOS: [expletive]! [expletive], you just about scared the daylights out of me…
LR: It's okay. I won't tell Ollie you said a cuss even though I'm not supposed to know cusses. My first question is about how come you were in the big game when you didn't used to play?
AP: Who are you? Is this an interview?
LR: [silence]
AP: I — it's because I didn't play in this league.
LR: Oh. How come?
AP: I'm old.
LR: Like my grampas?
AP: Older.
LR: Cool. Are you a gramparent too? For the pitcher lady from Becken— Becka— Beckeritch?
AP: Mmh.
LR: I'm gonna write down that you said yes because I think you said yes.
AP: What — hold on. Oy, kids. [sighs] We're related. Distantly, I think. We met, but, well, I was never that involved with family before all this. Antarctica, and all. I got her a card with some money in it for her birthday. I think that's all she and I have the room for right now.
LR: I wanna get a card with some money for my birthday. I always just get itchy sweaters even though they're itchy.
AP: … Hmm. Do you want some keys?
LR: Like car keys?
AP: Just keys on a ring. Here, look — I'm psychic, so—
LR: Sidekick?
AP: Hah! Not me. Psychic — it means I can make things fly with my brain. Even myself. Picked it up back in Antarctica, it… ah. Well, never mind that. I take the keys off the ring and put them back on; here, you try. It's relaxing. Watch your fingers there.
LR: I can't make them fly though.
AP: It's still relaxing to do it with your hands.
LR: Cool.
AP: … well, if that's it, then—
LR: Oh! Oh, yeah, I'm s'posed to ask one more question. How come you joined the Garages?
AP: Hah. I wish I knew. I never heard of this team, you know. The Millennials, the Jazz Hands, I know them. We were in the old league together. The Moist Talkers, well, I don't know when they went to Canada, but I was around when they appeared. I heard about the Firefighters after we — ah, well, my point being that I never heard of any "Garages" until I ended up here with Jimmy and that cactus after the game.
LR: Huh. I heard of the Garages since before I was three because we go to the games. I like Tot Clark because he's cool and one time he hit a ball and I got it.
AP: … alright then.
LR: Okay bye!

[end of excerpt]


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