Abner Pothos

From Blaseball Wiki

Abner Pothos is a player for the Canada Moist Talkers, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Pothos has previously played for the Antarctic Fireballs during Pre-History I, Seattle Garages, and for the Rising Stars during the ILB Semi-Centennial.

Official League Records

Pothos was first seen as a pitcher for the Antarctic Fireballs after the Fireballs were revealed in the Library, under The First Day, 1st Edition in Pre-History I.

On unknown dates, Pothos was named an MVP a total of three times, resulting in the Ego+++ modification.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Pothos played for the Rising Stars. Pothos then fell to the Seattle Garages as a lineup player.

On Season 尾24, Day 4, Pothos retreated to the Garages' Shadows in exchange for Parker Parra at The Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the November 18, 2022 Fall Ball, Pothos fell to the Canada Moist Talkers.

During the Season 1 Election as a result of the Moist Talkers winning the NEW Max Out Pitcher Blessing, Pothos' Zone was maxed out.


The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The aftermath of the ILB Semi-Centennial was a difficult time for the Garages. Not only had they witnessed the Forgery of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, but Parker MacMillan's impending Roam around the league caused much worry. Castillo Turner's return to the rotation was something they expected. Finding two new players on the lineup, however, was not.

Abner Pothos ranks among the Garages' oldest players, although its exact age is unknown. When asked, it claimed that as a player from Pre-History, it was "technically about two thousand" years old. Pothos's teammates provided the immensely helpful clarification that Pothos is indeed "pretty old." Abner Pothos and Wyatt Pothos are distant relatives; Wyatt Pothos has explained the relationship as "I don't know. I think I'm its great-great-second-cousin or something. All I know is that it's even less sure than I am." Both are left-handed and share a blood type. Given the considerable turmoil in the league at the time, the two have agreed to remain at a distance for the time being.

Career on the Garages

Seattle news outlets have described Pothos's style of dress as "eccentric," "trendsetting," and "a little weird but kind of killing it?" Its usual jacket has a high collar, long coattails, and is heavily padded for warmth. It also has a collection of top hats, likewise modified for cold weather. Its outfit somewhat resembles that of a stage magician. This is likely intentional, as Pothos has displayed psychic powers on occasion. Although it was only part of the lineup for four games, attendees reported seeing it telekinetically lifting bats and bat-shaped objects in lieu of swinging them manually. Other mentions of supposed psychic powers and levitation are the subject of debate, as Pothos has also displayed a propensity for stage magic and sleight of hand.


Pothos is Ashkenazi Jewish, and has been an active member of the Seattle-area Jewish community since its return to the world of the living. It frequently offers organizational support to local synagogues' community assistance programs in the Seattle area, and eventually helped establish the Big Garage Tzedakah Fund, a nonprofit that helps members of the community manage donations to others in need. Pothos has also provided translation services in Yiddish and Hebrew for the Seattle Garages Lil' Roadies Lil' Readers Language Workshops.

It is a noted socialist and has supported the Garages' mission as an anarcho-syndicalist collective. Shortly after joining the team, it re-established the Magicians' Union it claims to have run during its time as a Fireball. Members include Betsy Trombone, Nandy Fantastic, Mint Shupe, Borg Ruiz, Yeong-Ho Garcia, Scores Baserunner, Chorby Short, and several others, both Blaseball players and not. Meeting attendees agree that the union is "a really important tool for organizing and understanding each other" and also "a great place to go argue about random crap for like an hour," and as such, it fulfills the two main aims of anarcho-syndicalist meetings. Band members cited Pothos's influence when asked about the subsequent uptick in covers of union-themed folk songs in the band's discography.

Abner Pothos Reports

Pothos is a private person; as active as it is in the local community, it has requested that its personal life remain personal. Only a few sources around Seattle have managed to land a rare interview or otherwise learned something of Pothos from it or its teammates. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-41.958 out of its Rumor Registry...

Union Meeting Minutes

Excerpt from the meeting minutes of the Magicians' Union, as recorded by Betsy Trombone, uploaded to Betsy Trombone's Instlagram with the caption "doing very important work here." It was posted on Day 14, Season 24.

(2:30) Call to order: Meeting of Magicians' Union (Seattle Chapter) called by board member Abner Pothos at 2:30 P.M. on Day 14.

(2:31) Roll call: I conducted a roll call. The following members were present: Abner Pothos, Betsy Trombone, Felicity Davidson, Mint Shupe, Tadashi Kimura, Nandy Fantastic. The following honorary members were present: Malik Destiny. Addendum: Though not a stage magician by trade, Destiny is registered to attend meetings to discuss organizing tactics.

(2:36) Approval of minutes: I read the last meeting's minutes. Everyone got bored halfway through and decided they were "probably fine." The minutes were approved.

(2:41) New business: Nandy Fantastic proposed a resolution to partner with international wildlife organizations to ensure the proper care of doves, rabbits, and other animals materialized, transported, vanished, or otherwise affected by magic in the course of a magician's duties. Proposal seconded by Betsy Trombone and Abner Pothos. Discussion of the proposal began.

(3:19) Discussion continued.

(3:35) Discussion continued. Shortlist of potential wildlife organizations formed.

(3:40) Discussion continued.

(4:01) Discussion continued.

(4:20) New business: Mint Shupe called attention to the time and proposed a resolution to alter the flow of time in the Immaterial Plane to magically alter time such that hours would be seventy minutes long, so that clocks could say 69 sometimes. Proposal seconded by Betsy Trombone and Felicity Davidson. Discussion of previous proposal adjourned. Discussion of the new proposal began.

(4:47) Discussion continued.

(5:12) Proposal rejected due to potential ramifications for meeting schedule, potential ramifications for flow of space-time continuum, and infeasibility. Mint Shupe called Abner Pothos a boomer. Arguing ensued.

(5:22) Abner Pothos and Betsy Trombone realized they were 22 minutes late for band practice.

(5:23) Meeting declared a resounding success and adjourned.

Fan Works