Stephens Lightner

From Blaseball Wiki

Stephens Lightner is a pitcher for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, and has been with the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

Lightner joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands with the Return of Blaseball.

Lightner hit a 3-run home run in Season 2, Day 78 in a game against the Hellmouth Sunbeams.

In Season 5, Day 106, during a 23 inning playoff game against the Canada Moist Talkers, Lightner had 9 plate appearances, all strikeouts. SIBR has deemed this accomplishment a "Triple Golden Sombrero", a.k.a. "the 9-gallon bloodhat".

During the Season 14 elections, Lightner retreated to the Shadows of the Breckenridge Jazz Hands in exchange for Bauer Zimmerman as a result of the Jazz Hands' Foreshadow will, becoming a pitcher in the process.


COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Note from Historian Inumo

The primary text of this page documents the most commonly observed version of this player on the Blaseball field. For other versions, see the Interdimensional Rumor Mill below. If you have information regarding this player, see the team's contribution guidelines for information about how to add it to this page.

History

The Jazz Hands often refer to Lightner as Stephens "The Collective" Lightner. Not a single Stephen but rather an eclectic heap of Stephens, these multiple entities share not just a name but also the exact same location in space and time, even across dimensions. This is often understood by unidimensional observers as Lightner "flickering" between different individual Stephens. Incomprehensible to the mortal mind, this state of being has been described by Lightner as "nifty." The Lightner Project was established to investigate when and how this occurred. Preliminary results indicate the superposition took place prior to Lightner's career as a Race Carl driver.

After a decades long career as an undefeated Race Carl driver, Lightner left racing to pursue glory in the greatest game of all—Blaseball. Despite their age, Lightner quickly found a spot in the Jazz Hands' lineup, and have been a core part of the team for over █████ years.

Lightner is known for their unusual bat, which is made from the drive shaft of the Carl they drove to a legendary victory in the Daytona 42069. When asked why they were allowed to use such an unusual bat, The Commissioner did not provide any comment, because they were too busy Doing a Great Job.

When asked in an interview about how they navigate identity labels, Lightner replied, "I don't, don't try it either, next question."

Relationships

Many of the individual Stephens that make up Lightner's existence maintained relationships of varying sorts. After becoming Lightner, however, these relationships underwent various transformations, assuming they persisted; with effort, an individual Stephen can stabilize Lightner long enough to "pilot" a social interaction, but the effort involved is immense. As a result, Lightner expects any potential friend or partner to build a relationship of some sort with all of their constituent Stephens at once, as opposed to consistently interacting only with one Stephen.

The Lightner Project

Through the Lightner Project, some of the Stephens that make up Lightner have been approximately identified across the dimensions. One notable Stephen of the many documented is presented below, utilizing the same technology as the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. To read all about the Interdimensional Rumor Mill, visit Interdimensional Rumor Mill. If you would like to edit this entry, click IF-23.428, or if you would like to see a list of all Stephens, visit the Stephen Registry.

Stephen Fredricks

Stephen Fredricks was the most infamous criminal housed at the IF-23.428 Englewood Federal Correctional Facility. In IF-23.428, they were responsible for the theft of thousands of priceless Colorado artifacts, including the Mlona Lisel, the Dlavid, the only remaining copy of Gland Tuft Otto Englewood Heights (pre-"Mature Content" patch), and a small church mouse named Lucifer who entertained the nuns at Santo Cristobal's Episcopal Daycare.

Stephens Fredricks was one of the most dangerous con artists in their dimension. Though they had been a part of Lightner for at least ███████ of years, they were able to conceal their former identity as a con artist from The Collective, claiming that they'd been a fortune teller in IF-23.428 to manipulate Lightner into occasionally making decisions they wouldn't have otherwise made. Their former identity was outed on Season 8, Day 36, when in a rather boneheaded move they got careless and used their "divinity" to predict a 3-game winning streak for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, which was immediately disproven by their loss to the New York Millennials. It was the first known incident of a Stephen acting against the interests of The Collective.

Fredricks is said to be responsible for Lightner's proficiency at stealing bases, due to being a master thief.

Interdimensional Rumor Mill

No other versions of Stephens Lightner have been observed. If you have information regarding a different version of Stephens Lightner, please add it here.

Fan Works