Stephens Lightner/Stephen Registry

From Blaseball Wiki


Stephens Lightner has 6 Stephens written about so far.

Stephens Lightner/IF-23.428

Stephen Fredricks

Stephen Fredricks was the most infamous criminal housed at the IF-23.428 Englewood Federal Correctional Facility. In IF-23.428, they were responsible for the theft of thousands of priceless Colorado artifacts, including the Mlona Lisel, the Dlavid, the only remaining copy of Gland Tuft Otto Englewood Heights (pre-"Mature Content" patch), and a small church mouse named Lucifer who entertained the nuns at Santo Cristobal's Episcopal Daycare.

Stephens Fredricks was one of the most dangerous con artists in their dimension. Though they had been a part of Lightner for at least REDACTED of years, they were able to conceal their former identity as a con artist from The Collective, claiming that they'd been a fortune teller in IF-23.428 to manipulate Lightner into occasionally making decisions they wouldn't have otherwise made. Their former identity was outed on Season 8, Day 36, when in a rather boneheaded move they got careless and used their "divinity" to predict a 3-game winning streak for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, which was immediately disproven by their loss to the New York Millennials. It was the first known incident of a Stephen acting against the interests of The Collective.

Fredricks is said to be responsible for Lightner's proficiency at stealing bases, due to being a master thief.

Stephens Lightner/IF-29.165

Stephen Halloway

Stephen Halloway was the lead back-up dancer for the Colorado Springs Mid-Town Opera. The mayor of Colorado Springs in IF-29.165 once remarked of his figure, "That Stephen, he can really shake it on stage. His support during 'La donna è mobile' really stole the show, while also keeping the attention entirely on the Duke of Mantua."

Halloway is survived by his loving husband, Mark Halloway, and their two cats.

Stephens Lightner/IF-41.930

Stephens Irlwin

Stephens Irlwin was an Australian children's TV star primarily known for their work teaching kids about Australian wildlife, whose show ran for 1-7. They bat with an Animal Control Pole, though sometimes they will try to bat with the rope loop which leads to more strikes than would usually be thrown against them. When not playing Blaseball they run the Australian zloo and live with their husband, 4 kids, and 1 unusually large and scaly dog. Do not let Stephens Irlwin near Lowe Forbes as for unknown reasons Stephens Irlwin's life goal has been to capture a Forbes and they will peruse Lowe until they have evaded Irlwin. They have never tried to capture Brock Forbes, the reason is unknown but many have theorized it is because Irlwin doesn't know that Brock's last name is Forbes.

Stephens Lightner/IF-506.54

Stephen Secily

Stephen Secily was the star kicker in the IF-506.54-unique women's flootball team, the Cloverdale Chefs. She successfully scored 3,076 points during her career, and led the team to victory against the ██████████████████ during the ████ championships.

As part of Lightner, she is credited with providing much of Lightner's baserunning abilities. She still hinders Lightner's defense abilities by reflexively attempting to kick blaseballs instead of picking them up and throwing them.

Stephens Lightner/IF-573.44

Stephen Flash

Stephen Flash was the team captain of the IF-573.44 sloccer team Denver Brights, known for being composed entirely of Goldenrod Gall moths. Despite their composition, they were rather agile and blocked many goals using their 'headbutt', which was actually the combined moths that formed the head and neck throwing their entire weight towards the ball at the same time.

Flash is said to be the reason why Lightner is sometimes distracted by bright lights.

Stephens Lightner/IF-85.395

Stephen Manos

Stephen Manos is a certified counterbalance forklift operator composed entirely of left hands, except for one right hand. He is a fan of jangly elevator music, safety, and step-by-step instructions. Manos helps Lightner remain calm and follow their plans in high-pressure situations, and also helps with fielding. Manos served as the narrator for a training video commissioned by the Hellmouth Counterbalance Forklift Safety Support Board.

Create New Stephen

To create a new Stephen for Stephens Lightner, use the Page Creation tool to the right. The IF number needs to be a randomly generated 4 or 5 digit number with a period placed somewhere within, and it cannot match any numbers currently used on this page. We've generated one for you to use, but feel free to use a different number. This will create a subpage under Stephens Lightner for inclusion in the main page. Visit Interdimensional Rumor Mill/Guide to read more about how to create a new Stephen.