Lenny Spruce

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Lenny Spruce is a lineup player for the Boston Flowers, and has been with the team since the Season 13 elections. Spruce has previously played for the Kansas City Breath Mints.

Official League Records

Spruce joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Kansas City Breath Mints on Season 4, Day 55 after the incineration of Eduardo Ingram.

On Season 9, Day 85, Spruce swallowed a stray peanut and had a Yummy Reaction, raising his batting and defense by ★, his pitching by ★½, and his baserunning by half a star.

During the Season 13 elections, Spruce was exchanged to the Boston Flowers due to the Breath Mints' Plunder will in exchange for Sutton Picklestein.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Lenny Spruce is a stand-up comedian who originally lived at the edge of The Meadow. Prior to joining the Breath Mints' roster, Lenny was the tree in which Eduardo Ingram made their nest. Whit Steakknife used his sharp head to carve L+E into Spruce's trunk to cement Eduardo and Leach Ingram's eternal love. Spruce joined the team after Eduardo Ingram's incineration, when he thought his jokes would comfort the grieving Leach, but as she is incapable of understanding humor, the results have not been great.

When he joined the team, Spruce had one of his arms shaved into the shape of a bat, and had a glove nailed to a branch opposite the bat. He's still figuring out the rules of Blaseball, but he's doing his best! Spruce has a habit of using non sequiturs and stream-of-consciousness humor to distract umpires and opposing players. He brings his microphone into the batter's box for good luck.

Spruce is Treegan, which is like being a Vegan if you are a tree, which means only eating meat with no exceptions. Known for his voracious appetite, Spruce's displays of eating massive piles of meat products have been known to disgust and intimidate opposing players. He attributes his ability to survive Kansas City's harsh summers to his love of meat.

Spruce is known for his signature scent which surprisingly is not spruce and more closely smells like cedar. When asked about this Spruce simply states, "We all have our secrets."


Time on the Flowers

After Season 13's elections, Lenny was traded over to the Flowers. Despite all election results being based in chance, it oddly made sense: he brought fresh smells and fresh jokes to the Flowers, and the Flowers brought him a forest. The Garden welcomed with open vines another  sentient plantform, and though Lenny never fully vibed with the hivemind, Lenny appreciated the net it provided. If he fell, the Garden-- and the rest of the Flowers-- would catch his boughs.


Famous Quotes

  • "I don't have a bat. I just swing. I'm Lenny Spruce."
  • "Take away the right to say 'great' and you take away the right to say 'The commissioner is doing a great job.'"
  • "The Miami Dale is where neon goes to die."
  • "When you're ten thousand years old, nothing is your business."
  • "That's great, it starts with an earthquake, Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes, and Lenny Spruce is not afraid"
  • "The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide Mountains sit in a line, Whit Steakknife, Eduardo Ingram, Lenny Spruce and Hewitt Best. Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck. Right? Right!"

Fan Works

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