Lang Richardson

From Blaseball Wiki

Lang Richardson is a player in the Shadows for the Seattle Garages, and has been with the team since the Season 22 elections. Richardson has previously played for the Philly Pies.

Official League Records

Richardson joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Seattle Garages with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season 6, Day 26, Richardson siphoned some of Yellowstone Magic pitcher Yeong-Ho Garcia's batting ability in a game with Blooddrain weather, bringing it from to .

On Season 8, Day 21, Richardson was exchanged to the Philly Pies due to Feedback. Richardson was replaced by Nolanestophia Patterson.

On Season 22, Day 34, Richardson retreated to the Pies' Shadows in exchange for Ruslan Greatness at the Tastycake Stadium via the Ratified Voicemail.

Richardson was traded to the Seattle Garages' Shadows with no replacement during the Season 22 elections via the Gachapon blessing.

Personal Life

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Langford Harvey "Lang" Richardson is also a maracas player for the Seattle Garages Elephant Gambit. Richardson is known for his unreliable play in high-leverage situations. One fan has said that Richardson "lives for one thing, and that's making every time he's at bat the most dramatic thing there could be." One anonymous Blaseball writer once said of Richardson, "for better or worse, he turns every at-bat into an adventure."

Richardson's at-bats typically eschew three act structure, which he has described as rote and limiting. He has occasionally left what he describes as "Chekov's Blat" sitting just outside the batter's box before stepping to the plate. He has never touched it except to retrieve it, even when scoring on a tightly-contested play.

Richardson excelled in at the home-school level, captaining the bloxing, water plolo and modern plentathlon teams. Early in Season 3 he returned to his alma mater to deliver the commencement speech to that year's departing class, his sister Laura. He is also a six-time winner of the Garages' traditional pre-season breath-holding competition, a talent he has yet to use to his on-field advantage.

Rumors that Richardson is a vampire, on the grounds that even a thespian wouldn't own that many capes, have been roundly dismissed.

Richardson's fans refer to themselves as the Lang Gang.

During Season 8, Richardson took his feedback swap to the Philly Pies as an opportunity to put on the tear-jerking performance of a lifetime. To express his sorrow at leaving, Lang went went around the field to each of his former Garages teammates and gave a personalized deathbed-style monologue about what they meant to him. This held up the game for several hours.

Richardson was recruited to the Pies by team sponsor Taskykake, who thought that his theatrical stylings would be perfect for their "Krimpets: the snack of existentialism" campaign. Richardson immediately began performing in a series of 3 hour commercials that critics say managed to capture both the darkness held deep in the human soul and the cr猫me contained deep in a Krimpet.

Richardson once impressed his team by singing the entirety of "Guns and Ships" at full speed with a mouth full of 47 goldfish crackers. Observers called the performance "cacophonous, but understandable" and "kind of weird, like, does he think that makes him cool?"

Richardson has said that his dream is to give the perfect sports movie pep talk. He can often be found between innings, wearing old age make-up and talking to his teammates about heart and glory. So far his attempts at inspiring the team have not been appreciated by his fellow players, especially when he monologues in lieu of actually hitting the ball.


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Fan Works