Lenny Marijuana was a lineup player for the Carolina Queens, and was with the team from Season β24, Day 30 until being incinerated on Season 24, Day 34. Marijuana had previously played for the Seattle Garages and Hades Tigers.
Official League Records
On Season β18, Day 14, Marijuana retreated to the Garages' Shadows in exchange for Summers Pony via The Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility's Fax Machine.
On Season β24, Day 30, The Cookout Thieves' Guild stole Marijuana from the Seattle Garages and gave them to the Carolina Queens. On Day 31, Marijuana joined the Queens' lineup in exchange for Doom Hammer at Hawai'i Viberight Field via the Ratified Voicemail. On Day 34, Marijuana was incinerated and replaced by Clarinet McCormick.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Born in the early '60s, █████████ "Lenny" Marijuana grew up loving blaseball, lead by his father Randolfus von Marijuana. Though giving the splort his all, Marijuana never made it out of the minor leagues. This disappointed Marijuana greatly, but he pressed on. Marijuana's focus eventually turned to raising his two sons, Dominic and Randall Marijuana. They, too, took quickly to Blaseball. Marijuana was reported to be a very attentive father, taking them to all of their games, helping coach, and supplying the snacks and drinks for their blittle league teams. However, one day, Marijuana seemed to disappear without a trace.
Much was unknown about Marijuana's whereabouts until his debut to the league in Season β10, pitching for the Seattle Garages. It was then he sat down to give an interview with historians to detail his time between disappearing and now.
After a particularly promising game for Dominic, Marijuana was approached by someone he could only describe as a "Shadow Broker." This broker offered Marijuana a deal. If Marijuana signed with him, his boys would have the fame and glory Marijuana could never achieve himself. They would, in the words of the broker, "burn brighter than he ever could." The deal would come at a price, though the details of which were unclear. Marijuana was hesitant, but the broker assured him that interested parties had big plans for the boys and that they would be in good hands. Marijuana agreed, and signed the deal. Once the pact was sealed, Marijuana reports a number of things occurred. First, his name █████████ was taken from him, leaving him only with "Lenny" Marijuana. Any early blaseball cards of him in the minor leagues also have the name smudged out. After this, Marijuana was rendered unrecognizable by any and all who knew him, though it is unclear if this was a result of the pact itself or the taking of his name. Marijuana reports helping the boys out from the shadows, even if they weren't able to recognize him any longer.
During this time of unrecognizability, Marijuana pursued many interests. Part of the pact forbade Marijuana from participating in blaseball, however it did not stop him from watching the games. Marijuana reports being at every game during the beginnings of his sons careers, cheering them on from the stands. Marijuana took up hand-drumming and released a number of albums to widespread public indifference, although his track Conversation With The Cosmos can sometimes be heard in the lobby of a Best Western near Dubuque. Other hobbies included motorbiking, holotropic breathwork, tax evasion, and dog fostering.
An anomaly occurred when Marijuana ran into an old friend at a bar in Halifax, Ortiz Morse. Morse is the only person on record to recognize Marijuana during his time in the shadows, and the two rekindled a close friendship during this time. Marijuana joined Morse's Smash Mouth cover band Moist Mouth, given that all players of the band are made anonymous anyway. When Morse was drafted to the Seattle Garages, Marijuana followed, hoping to get further with his music career there.
The day after Day X, Marijuana received a phone call from the head of the Seattle Garages. In his move to Seattle with Morse, the ILB took notice of Marijuana, and noted that his contract with the broker had expired. They noted that his joining of the league was non negotiable, and was being drafted as the next pitcher effective immediately. When asked why they had chosen him, the person on the other end was difficult to hear, Marijuana only making out the word "Townsend". Though his pitching often proves to be marginal at best, Marijuana is known to put his heart into it, citing that he wants to make his boys proud.
Life After Unshadowing
When not at bat, Marijuana can be found hanging out at Dad's Grill, or busking at the Seattle Center with his hand drum. Despite his name, Marijuana claims to be substance free, opting instead to focus on yoga, holotropic breathwork, hypnotism, and ice baths. Members of the Garages have taken to him quickly, dubbing him "Official Weird Dad" of the team. He has a close relationship with team member Greer Gwiffin, helping him on his podcast Steely Dads! and workshopping Gwisdoms together.
Lenny Loops The Sun 2
Marijuana pitched the opening game of the Season β11 Internet Series between the Seattle Garages and the Hellmouth Sunbeams, playing what was arguably the best game of his entire career. Faced with a Sunbeams batting lineup blessed by both Fourth Strike and Walk In the Park, the single star pitcher nevertheless threw 6 strike outs and by technicality pitched a 6-0 Shutout after the Sunbeams’ 10 runs were converted into a win in the Bottom of the 10th inning.
In a rambling address to the press after the game, Marijuana confided: “I’m so proud of my boys, you know? I guess everyone is after the whole thing with that Shelled One character. Nothing like that happened in Blaseball when I was a younger man, let me tell you. Oh, the game? Sure man, what do you want me to say? I could sit here and tell you I pitched this one for Seattle, or for an old man’s vanity… but truth is the whole time I was up on the mound I was thinking about Dominic and Randall. After everything they’ve done for common folks like you and me… I wanted them to finally have a reason to be proud of their old man.”
Not one to change ways, Marijuana plays the hand drum for the band and occasionally lends his gruff voice to tracks.
Box of Lenny Marijuana Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-42.959 and start reading...
Eleanor “Lenny” Marijuana (she/her) is the youngest sister to Dominic and Randall Marijuana. Like her brothers, she spent her childhood playing Blittle League and was enamored with blaseball from a young age. The three of them were close: Dom, as the oldest, was more of a caretaker figure to Lenny, and Randy was a troublemaker that inspired her to be a troublemaker too. They lived in close quarters and went to games frequently.
Life in the Shadows
When her brothers signed ILB contracts for the Millennials and Sunbeams, a young Lenny Marijuana was quick to follow in their footsteps. Unfortunately, she failed to realize that her contract had different terms. While she thought she was joining the Seattle Garages’ rotation, she quickly realized that she had actually joined their shadows and, due to the nature of the shadows, could no longer contact her brothers.
Marijuana was devastated, but gradually formed friendships with her fellow shadowed players. She rarely visited her brothers out of fear that they wouldn’t recognize her. Instead, she moved in with Goodwin Morin, who served as an aunt-like figure and caretaker. The rebellious Marijuana helped Morin cut loose, and Morin taught Marijuana valuable life skills about responsibility. During her time in the shadows, Marijuana went to Garages games frequently and learned more about the team. She also began learning to play bass guitar to prepare for the day that she would join the Garages’ active roster and band.
After Mike Townsend retreated to the shadows, he and Marijuana became fast friends. Townsend helped her learn to play bass and helped her bleach her hair, resulting in most of it falling out. In return she pierced his ears, which got infected. This cemented their friendship. The two could often be found together in the shadows baking together, body modding, or watching reality television shows like Tlop Chlef.
Unshadowing and Grand Siesta
Marijuana was randomly chosen to join the Garages’ pitching roster in the Season 9 elections. Having spent several seasons in the shadows, she was disoriented to rejoin society and deal with a new slate of problems, such as fans asking about her brothers and having to pay at restaurants instead of dining and dashing.
Her transition was made easier by Townsend coming with her, acting as a buffer between herself and the rest of the team. Marijuana was disheartened to discover that the Garages already had a bassist, and quickly dedicated herself to learning the glockenspiel. She was not present during the Hall Stars match; however, following Dom and Randy’s release, Marijuana was visibly more excited about playing blaseball.
Over the Grand Siesta, Marijuana adapted easily to life without blaseball, seeing as most of her life had been spent outside of the active roster. She had a brief career as a batter in the inaugural Coffee Cup playing for Cream & Sugar United. Marijuana hit one single. She dedicated this to her brothers, in her only on-the-record comment to date about Dom and Randy.
She and fellow former shadows player Sparks Beans went on a massive road trip and visited all of the continental United States, as well as several regions of Mexico and Canada. Marijuana said of the trip, “It was Sparks’s idea. It started out as a joke about regional coffee shops, but then next thing I knew we had this whole map planned out. And why not? If we have years of free time, why shouldn’t we go on an adventure and get kicked out of both Dakotas or a national park or something?”
Marijuana spent the rest of the Grand Siesta in Seattle. She became a frequent visitor of live music shows, particularly indie punk bands and the occasional trip to the Seattle Phlilharmonic Orchestra, and a regular at several different tattoo shops in the area. Marijuana maintained her close friendship with Mike Townsend despite new barriers caused by his retreat to the shadows. The two of them would regularly bake “together”: one of them would assemble dough or batter and leave it in a refrigerator in the Big Garage for the other to bake.
Expansion Era and Hades Tigers
The Expansion Era proved difficult for the Garages, with the team seeing a flurry of trades and new players. Marijuana struggled to keep up with not only the changes but a new and more ruthless blaseball. She leaned heavily on her teammates, particularly new teammate Alaynabella Hollywood, for support. Hollywood, a close friend of Randy’s, leaned in turn on Marijuana as she adjusted to being in Seattle.
After Chorby Soul joined the Garages, Marijuana became friends with them, citing Soul’s former relationship with her brother Dominic as a reason to feel close to them. She spent the following season supporting them in their consumer-fighting mission and making sure that they had a friend to unwind with. Following Soul’s eventual incineration, Marijuana said in an interview, “I’m just glad they don’t have to hurt anymore. Nobody deserves to go through that.” Soul was later resurrected and incinerated one more time, which Marijuana never commented on.
Marijuana spent Season 17 on the Hades Tigers, her first time leaving Seattle. While she was initially nervous, her boisterous and upbeat attitude was a welcome addition to the Tigers. She organized multiple parties, game nights, movie nights, and a laser tag tournament, the results of which are sealed in an official court document.
During her time on the team, Marijuana also had a friendly rivalry with Tigers pitcher Dunlap Figueroa; this rivalry was less to do with pitching and more to do with the fact that Marijuana was standing closest to Figueroa when ve decided that ve wanted a friendly rival. The rivalry, the Tigers’ passion, and Marijuana’s new fire blood all inspired her to approach her personal and pitching lives with a new level of zeal and lust for life.
Shadows, Carolina Queens, & Death
In Season 18, Marijuana returned to the Garages, and returned to the team’s shadows on Day 14 due to their Fax Machine. Marijuana was disappointed, but simultaneously relieved to be out of the spotlight. Inspired by her time in Hades, she began spending all her free time volunteering in the greater Seattle area. Initially Marijuana volunteered at a wide variety of services, including food banks, zoos, parks, women’s shelters, farmer’s markets, youth charities, and education initiatives.
Eventually, she found her passion in volunteer recruiting and coordination, something that allowed her to work with multiple nonprofit and community organizations at once. Marijuana became a staple of the Seattle volunteer community, helping organizations run events. She was infamous among some circles for her continued laser tag initiatives, which were controversial yet popular fundraisers.
Despite no longer being active on the Garages, Marijuana remained close with the team, and convinced many of her teammates to help volunteer at events that she coordinated. She was present at the game where Sparks Beans was incinerated, and was involved with subsequent memorials for Beans held by the Garages. She also kept close friendships with Hollywood and Townsend through their transfers to the Garages lineup.
As Season 24 approached, Marijuana could tell that something big was coming. She trained replacements for her nonprofit jobs, and began following blaseball again more closely. She was heartbroken when Townsend was redacted, and made a public vow to find him, wherever he went. Along with the rest of the Garages, Marijuana was made unstable by Parker MacMillan; she never made any public comment about this, but teammates noted that she seemed shaken by the ordeal.
Marijuana was stolen by The Cookout Thieves’ Guild - or more accurately, approached by a couple of members of the Carolina Queens and decided to join the team to help them out. She made fast friends with the Queens, particularly de facto captain Jazzmeralda Cevapcici, who allowed Marijuana to move in with her.
Marijuana was quickly brought into the Queens’ lineup by Voicemail, marking the second time in her life that she played as a batter. Following her long hiatus from blaseball, Marijuana was surprised to realize that despite her instability she was having fun again, for the first time in a long time.
During her third game on the Queens, Marijuana was incinerated by a rogue umpire. Despite her death, she was happy to enter the Hall of Flame and see Sparks Beans again. She was also excited when both the Tigers and Garages visited the Hall of Flame. Last reports from the Expansion Era say that Marijuana has left the Hall to explore the Black Hole, repeating her promise to find Townsend.
- Marijuana is noted among the Garages as being a clothes thief, regularly stealing flannels, tights, hair dye, jerseys, shoes, socks, and belts from her teammates. The stealing has nothing to do with whether the items fit her, or whether she plans on wearing them. She will always return items if asked and keeps meticulous track of which items are from which teammate just in case, but such requests are rare.
- During her tenure on the Tigers, Marijuana chose not to steal her teammates’ clothes. Upon her return to Seattle, she discovered a suitcase filled with random items from Tigers players, with a list of what belonged to whom. Marijuana immediately adopted these into her wardrobe.
- Marijuana has had recurring dreams her entire life about being transformed into a duck. She describes these dreams to her teammates so often that several of them have reported experiencing the same dreams.
- Marijuana has 1,291 puzzle game apps on her phone. She has finished seven of them. Most of them have fewer than one level completed.
- Marijuana is a Gluinness World Record runner-up for most colors one person has ever dyed their hair. Says Marijuana, “I didn’t even know that Gluinness did runner-ups.”
- Marijuana coordinates the largest lesbian book club in the Seattle area. She has described this as her most fulfilling volunteer job.
- Following her incineration, the members of the club started a volunteer organization, Lenny’s Library, to run and sponsor diverse book clubs in local Seattle schools.
Lenny Marijuana is the focus of the following songs:
Lenny Marijuana by @mermeag
Lenny and Gwiffin handling the Lil Roadies by seb
Lenny cheesin' by @glassgoblin
|Winning is always in Vogue|