Lenny Marijuana was a lineup player for the Carolina Queens, and was with the team from Season β24, Day 30 until being incinerated on Season 24, Day 34. Marijuana had previously played for the Seattle Garages and Hades Tigers.
Official League Records
On Season β18, Day 14, Marijuana retreated to the Garages' Shadows in exchange for Summers Pony via The Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility's Fax Machine.
On Season β24, Day 30, The Cookout Thieves' Guild stole Marijuana from the Seattle Garages and gave them to the Carolina Queens. On Day 31, Marijuana joined the Queens' lineup in exchange for Doom Hammer at Hawai'i Viberight Field via the Ratified Voicemail. On Day 34, Marijuana was incinerated and replaced by Clarinet McCormick.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Born in the early '60s, █████████ "Lenny" Marijuana grew up loving blaseball, lead by his father Randolfus von Marijuana. Though giving the splort his all, Marijuana never made it out of the minor leagues. This disappointed Marijuana greatly, but he pressed on. Marijuana's focus eventually turned to raising his two sons, Dominic and Randall Marijuana. They, too, took quickly to Blaseball. Marijuana was reported to be a very attentive father, taking them to all of their games, helping coach, and supplying the snacks and drinks for their blittle league teams. However, one day, Marijuana seemed to disappear without a trace.
Much was unknown about Marijuana's whereabouts until his debut to the league in Season β10, pitching for the Seattle Garages. It was then he sat down to give an interview with historians to detail his time between disappearing and now.
After a particularly promising game for Dominic, Marijuana was approached by someone he could only describe as a "Shadow Broker." This broker offered Marijuana a deal. If Marijuana signed with him, his boys would have the fame and glory Marijuana could never achieve himself. They would, in the words of the broker, "burn brighter than he ever could." The deal would come at a price, though the details of which were unclear. Marijuana was hesitant, but the broker assured him that interested parties had big plans for the boys and that they would be in good hands. Marijuana agreed, and signed the deal. Once the pact was sealed, Marijuana reports a number of things occurred. First, his name █████████ was taken from him, leaving him only with "Lenny" Marijuana. Any early blaseball cards of him in the minor leagues also have the name smudged out. After this, Marijuana was rendered unrecognizable by any and all who knew him, though it is unclear if this was a result of the pact itself or the taking of his name. Marijuana reports helping the boys out from the shadows, even if they weren't able to recognize him any longer.
During this time of unrecognizability, Marijuana pursued many interests. Part of the pact forbade Marijuana from participating in blaseball, however it did not stop him from watching the games. Marijuana reports being at every game during the beginnings of his sons careers, cheering them on from the stands. Marijuana took up hand-drumming and released a number of albums to widespread public indifference, although his track Conversation With The Cosmos can sometimes be heard in the lobby of a Best Western near Dubuque. Other hobbies included motorbiking, holotropic breathwork, tax evasion, and dog fostering.
An anomaly occurred when Marijuana ran into an old friend at a bar in Halifax, Ortiz Morse. Morse is the only person on record to recognize Marijuana during his time in the shadows, and the two rekindled a close friendship during this time. Marijuana joined Morse's Smash Mouth cover band Moist Mouth, given that all players of the band are made anonymous anyway. When Morse was drafted to the Seattle Garages, Marijuana followed, hoping to get further with his music career there.
The day after Day X, Marijuana received a phone call from the head of the Seattle Garages. In his move to Seattle with Morse, the ILB took notice of Marijuana, and noted that his contract with the broker had expired. They noted that his joining of the league was non negotiable, and was being drafted as the next pitcher effective immediately. When asked why they had chosen him, the person on the other end was difficult to hear, Marijuana only making out the word "Townsend". Though his pitching often proves to be marginal at best, Marijuana is known to put his heart into it, citing that he wants to make his boys proud.
Life After Unshadowing
When not at bat, Marijuana can be found hanging out at Dad's Grill, or busking at the Seattle Center with his hand drum. Despite his name, Marijuana claims to be substance free, opting instead to focus on yoga, holotropic breathwork, hypnotism, and ice baths. Members of the Garages have taken to him quickly, dubbing him "Official Weird Dad" of the team. He has a close relationship with team member Greer Gwiffin, helping him on his podcast Steely Dads! and workshopping Gwisdoms together.
Lenny Loops The Sun 2
Marijuana pitched the opening game of the Season β11 Internet Series between the Seattle Garages and the Hellmouth Sunbeams, playing what was arguably the best game of his entire career. Faced with a Sunbeams batting lineup blessed by both Fourth Strike and Walk In the Park, the single star pitcher nevertheless threw 6 strike outs and by technicality pitched a 6-0 Shutout after the Sunbeams’ 10 runs were converted into a win in the Bottom of the 10th inning.
In a rambling address to the press after the game, Marijuana confided: “I’m so proud of my boys, you know? I guess everyone is after the whole thing with that Shelled One character. Nothing like that happened in Blaseball when I was a younger man, let me tell you. Oh, the game? Sure man, what do you want me to say? I could sit here and tell you I pitched this one for Seattle, or for an old man’s vanity… but truth is the whole time I was up on the mound I was thinking about Dominic and Randall. After everything they’ve done for common folks like you and me… I wanted them to finally have a reason to be proud of their old man.”
Not one to change ways, Marijuana plays the hand drum for the band and occasionally lends his gruff voice to tracks.
Box of Lenny Marijuana Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-41.803 and start reading...
Lenny Marijuana grew up around his father, an ex-professional blaseball player who pressured him into the splort. He was good enough to make the minor leagues as a batter, quickly becoming a fan favorite. Marijuana loved playing blaseball, but his real love were his two sons, Dominic and Randy, who he taught the splort to when they were old enough. When Dom was around eight, however, he was approached in the locker room by a mysterious shadow-y figure. It introduced itself as a broker from the Shadows, and offered Marijuana a deal, his sons’ future safety for his soul. Foolishly, Marijuana took this deal and ended up trapped in the Shadows.
Life in the Shadows
He wandered aimlessly for over a decade. The Shadows were dark and swallowed him like ink. He adapted, learned to peel back the smoke and peer through to watch his children play. Marijuana was proud of them, but it hurt to know he couldn’t be with them because of a reckless deal. He was watching when Randy was incinerated, and he never quite recovered from that, believing that the deal he made was a lie and he’d traded his life for nothing.
It wasn’t too long after Randy’s death that he came into contact with Mike Townsend, and an extremely close friendship formed between the two. They developed a system where Marijuana would see through the Shadows and narrate games to Townsend so he wouldn’t be out of the loop. Townsend was with him when Dominic was incinerated.
Marijuana and Townsend were taken from the Shadows at the end of Season 9. He was never sure why the Shadows finally let him go. He had a rough start coming into the league, people steering clear of him due to his striking resemblance to his sons, specifically Dominic. While in the Shadows, he developed many anxious habits, specifically fidgeting with his fingers. Because of this, he struggled with his new pitching position, but thrived with the drums, picking up an old hobby once he joined the Garages. He also retained a crippling fear of the dark.
Since coming out of the Shadows, Marijuana has opened up and developed relationships with people. The league has gotten more comfortable with him being around, especially after Season 10 Day X, when Dominic and Randall came back to fight the SHELLED ONE. Marijuana watched that game with pride, and finally got to speak with his sons upon their release and explain the situation. They are actively working on rebuilding their relationship. Alongside that, Marijuana also began dating pitchers for the Philly Pies, Elvis Figueroa over the Grand Siesta, after a close friendship evolved into sparks of love.
Marijuana is currently in the process of learning from his past mistakes and opening up to others. He is still impulsive, and a bit rough around the edges, but once people work past his hardened exterior, they find a man who cares about everyone in his life and works to be the best he can be.
Lenny Marijuana is the focus of the following songs:
Lenny Marijuana by @mermeag
Lenny and Gwiffin handling the Lil Roadies by seb
Lenny cheesin' by @glassgoblin
|Winning is always in Vogue