Emblem Warhorse

From Blaseball Wiki

See Emblem Warhorse (bar) for the establishment of the same name.

Emblem Warhorse is a player in the Shadows for the Seattle Garages, and has been with the team since the Season β19 Elections.

Official League Records

Warhorse joined the ILB as a lineup player in the Shadows for the Seattle Garages as the Garages' Season β11 Playoff Birth.

During the Season β19 elections, Warhorse joined the Garages' active roster in exchange for Brisket Friendo as a result of the Garages' Foreshadow will.

On Season β21, Day 79, Warhorse retreated to the Shadows in exchange for Oliver Loofah at The Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility via the Ratified Voicemail.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Background

Emblem Warhorse describes many things: a bar, a band, a Blaseball player, but most importantly, a community. The Emblem Warhorse is a dive bar in Seattle, and Emblem Warhorse is a collective of people who have at some point in their life found refuge within its walls, becoming Patrons of The Emblem Warhorse. Patrons can be found doing a variety of activities, including (but certainly not limited to) celebrating after a minor league blaseball game, chatting with fellow motorcycle gang members, performing in the group's band (titled Emblem Warhorse), performing at the bar's drag shows under the moniker Emblem Warhorse, or simply enjoying the atmosphere of the bar. A watchful reader may have noticed that some of these activities involve being named Emblem Warhorse; this stems from the bar’s motto: “If you’re here, you’re Emblem Warhorse.” Upon entering the bar, one's name becomes Emblem Warhorse for the duration of one's stay. All are Emblem Warhorse. All is Emblem Warhorse.

Warhorses who frequent the bar often note having never seen the bar before finding it, despite it being located across the street from the Queen Anne Dicks Drive In. Some speculate the bar is only visible when one is truly prepared to find it. The exception to this rule is when the bar hosts events, though visitors who are not meant to become a Patron often find themselves shooed out the door by The Emblem Warhorse itself. Visitors have reported experiencing this phenomenon differently, some finding chairs feeling more uncomfortable, others noticing the water tasting off or the music being just a little too loud. Some have taken to challenging The Emblem Warhorse, ready to prove themselves worthy candidates of the Emblem Warhorse name. It is unclear at this point if any such challenges have been successful.

After the name Emblem Warhorse appeared on the Seattle Garages active roster, at least one Warhorse has been chosen to play in each Garages game. How a Warhorse is chosen for play on a given day is unclear, as Patrons have given conflicting reports. It is possible that there is no clear way of deciding play, or that it changes from day to day. Some cite a competitive game of dlarts, others claim they simply feel the compulsion to pick up the bat and head out the doors.

Qualifications of becoming an Emblem Warhorse

Of the players who take up the moniker Emblem Warhorse, only two things are consistent:

  • They have at one point in time been considered a regular at The Emblem Warhorse, and have been deemed worthy.
  • They are required to wear the Emblem, a design featuring an upside-down chess knight, somewhere on their person.

The bar has a strict no quadruped policy, though there have been known instances of quadruped Emblem Warhorses managing to get around this rule.


Patrons of the Emblem Warhorse

Many people and beings have come to take up the moniker of Emblem Warhorse throughout time, as deemed worthy by The Emblem Warhorse bar. Below is one such Warhorse.

This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Patron Rumor from IF-35.782 out of its Patron Rumor Registry...

Emblem “Coffee” Warhorse is a diminutive, androgynous humanoid, whose defining feature is an emerald-green visor Coffee is wearing at all times. The shadow from it obscures Coffee’s face such that none of the other patrons are quite sure what coffhe looks like without it, only that Coffee’s smile is pleasant and unassuming.

Coffee Warhorse is an alien with grey-green skin and a barista visor covered in buttons that covers Coffee's face.
Coffee Warhorse, by Cori

Coffee became a patron of the Emblem Warhorse when Coffee showed up one day, claiming to have been sent to set up a bean roaster and espresso machine behind the bar, despite none of the management remembering having ordered such a thing. Coffee’s nom de guerre comes from coffhe’s having asked for entrance to the Warhorse by saying “Coffee!” and indicating the bags of coffee beans that coffhe was carrying. This was mistaken as an introduction, and the name stuck. Coffee’s real name, if indeed coffhe has one, is as of yet unknown.

Despite initial hesitance, the Warhorse’s coffee offerings are now a big hit, especially in the ever-coffee-thirsty city of Seattle, and especially with in-house roasted beans. It has also allowed the bar to expand its drink offerings to include coffee cocktails, which have since been limited to two per customer per night after several instances of caffeine-amplified mayhem. Plans are in the works to begin shipping the roasted beans nationwide under the emblem of “Warhorse Coffee”. Coffee Warhorse took naturally to heading a small cafe at the edge of the bar, leading some to believe that Coffee has experience working as a barista. When asked, Coffee has been known to respond, “Definitely! A barista with a lowercase b! A totally normal barista! All lowercase. No proper nouns here.” The reason for this clarification is unknown, as is the reason for Coffee’s growing aloof and cagey whenever Sparks Beans is mentioned in coffhis presence.

Coffee Warhorse wears coffhis emblem among the many other pins on Coffee’s visor, which also include every single pride flag yet invented, some which have not yet been invented, and a promotional pin for conquering the Chompin’ Charlie’s Wing Bar’s World Famous Hot Wing Challenge, among others. Coffee is not known to have played Blaseball at any point, and claims not to know what it is, although several of the more observant patrons have noticed that Coffee is conspicuously absent on, and only on, days where there is some variety of coffee weather.

Fan Works

Art