Conrad Twelve

From Blaseball Wiki

Conrad Twelve is a player for the Kansas City Breath Mints, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Twelve has played for the Chicago Firefighters and Seattle Garages.

Official League Records

Twelve joined the ILB as a pitcher in the Shadows for the Chicago Firefighters with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season β17 elections, Twelve joined the Firefighters' pitching rotation in exchange for Agan Harrison via the Firefighters' Foreshadow will.

On Season β22, Day 35, Twelve retreated to the Firefighters' Shadows in exchange for Alston England as a result of The Fire Safety Awareness Center's Fax Machine. On Day 37, Twelve rejoined the Firefighters' pitching rotation in exchange for Zi Sliders via the Fax Machine.

On Season β22, Day 57, Twelve once again retreated into the Firefighters' Shadows in exchange for Sliders via The Fire Safety Awareness Center's Fax Machine.

Twelve was traded to the Seattle Garages' Shadows with no replacement during the Season β22 elections via the Gachapon blessing.

During the December 9, 2022 Fall Ball, Twelve fell to the Kansas City Breath Mints.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Conrad Twelve Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-90.94 and start reading...


Conrad Twelve is the twelfth incarnation of a serially-reincarnated personality-bundle called Conrad. Each incarnation of Conrad is substantially different to all the previous iterations, but is also host to the personality imprints (or as the Conrads prefer to tell it, “haunted by the ghosts”) of the prior incarnations. All incarnations of Conrad have dwelt for at least some of their lives in the area now known as Chicago, including the earliest incarnations which date back to pre-Columbian North America.

It remains unclear why Conrad reincarnates in this way, or why Conrad seems to have a link to Chicago. Conrad Twelve has explained only that “it feels like we’re searching for something”.

Conrad Twelve is a forty-three year old African-American person. A qualified electrical engineering major, Twelve worked as a roboticist for NALSA during the Conrads' twenties, before quitting in order to “find the Conrads' selves”. As part of this journey of discovery prior to joining the main roster of the Chicago Firefighters, Twelve was employed for seven years as a long-distance trucker. On this unexpected career move, the Conrads are said to have commented “you can’t find yourself if you don’t go looking in a lot of different places”.

Twelve heard the Call when on a trucking job between Seattle and Washington D.C. While idling in congestion on the Chicago Sklyway, Twelve abruptly exited the cab, abandoned the Conrads' vehicle[1] and set off on foot for the Fire House, where the Conrads would spend a number of years in the Firefighter's Shadows, while also proving to be an excellent driver of fire trucks.

Conrad Twelve has a cheerful, sunny disposition despite the Conrads' complex and crowded psyche. The Conrads' personality is often described as “avuncular”. The Conrads' decision making and awareness of immediate reality can be lacking due to the psychic crosstalk, but the Conrads are also valued amongst the Firefighters for the Conrads' wisdom distilled from the Conrads' many lives. The Conrads are also known for an occasional streak of terrifying ruthlessness, which the Conrads channel especially while on the mound: this is thought to stem from the influence of the DATA MISSING personality.

Twelve’s understanding of the Conrads' gender is in a continuous state of evolution, partly owing to the influence of the Conrads' previous selves. Twelve experiments often with the Conrads' gender presentation.

Like all of us, the Conrads are from Chicago. The Conrads' jersey number is 12.

Previous Conrads

The historical record tell us little about previous Conrads. As such our primary source is Conrad Twelve the Conrads' selves: the Conrads' recorded comments are presented below.

Number Biography
One Twelve appears to have difficulty recalling Conrad One. ”She… she remembers fire.”
Three "He's kind of a straight-laced guy. Big family man, lots of children and grandchildren and so on - I've never looked them up, too weird, although we send money now and then. He doesn't come out much because modern technology makes him uncomfortable."
Four "She had a colorful life, I guess you'd call it. She was a con-artist. She'd been in prison, she ran a bar... You'll know when it's her talking because she's always watching a point just behind your head."
Six Twelve has refused to discuss Conrad Six.
Seven "Seven really believed in our quest, but ze also tried to tell other people about it, and that didn't end up too well for zir... ze spent a lot of time being bounced around unpleasant places who thought there was something wrong with zir. Ze got out, though, and spent the second half of zir life working to improve understanding, conditions and respect for, well, we'd call it neuroatypical people now."
Ten "I think they played Blaseball, before the Return... though I've never proved it, and they don't like to discuss it. But I feel them when I grip the ball, and something in them makes me want to grip it tighter. It's important to them, even though it hurts.

They also love cats. Maybe they're why Socks likes me."

Eleven "She's so great! Very bubbly type, everyone's buddy. It wasn't fair what happened to her."


  • Twelve owns, or at least has the keys to, over two dozen small properties in the Greater Chicago area and across the continental United Stlates, most inherited from prior incarnations. These are largely used to store mementoes, but according to Conrad can "also serve as a great place to lie low for a while".
  • Twelve can play the harmonica.
  • Twelve's CB radio handle was Big Shoulders.
  • One of the previous Conrads ran for Governor of Illinois and placed second. Twelve states: "A lot of ballot boxes went missing."
  • Twelve is alternately fascinated by and infuriated with Firefighters teammate Kennedy Rodgers, who as a clockwork automaton absolutely should not work according to Conrad's roboticist training, but does anyway.
  • An earlier incarnation of Conrad was, decades ago, friends with Firefighters teammate Geepa Beanpot. Twelve and Beanpot have rekindled the friendship since.
  • Twelve has become firm friends with Firefighters teammate Wanda Schenn, who is used to being a person with other forms of life inside of them.

  1. Trucks passing through Greater Chicago are routinely insured for damage or loss caused by driver abandonment due to the frequency of such phenomena.