United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers

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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers, also known as the Seattle Garages Mascot Collective, is a union representing the Seattle Garages mascots that appear during home games at the Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility. Following negotiations between players and Garages management, it is also the official mascot for the Seattle Garages.

History

Following the complete rejection by Garages fans of their initial mascot, Jerry the Car, Garages management turned to its active playing roster to come up with a new mascot that would better reflect the city, the team, and their fans. Every single player in the team having pitched their own mascot, the situation quickly reached a deadlock, which was devastating for the team's morale and ability to train. With days left until the start of the regular season, an agreement was reached, letting all 13 mascots represent the Garages during home games. Following the incineration of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, mascots, players, and management agreed to a more formal process of representation, which would allow new player Derrick Krueger to pitch his mascot and have it be part of the collective. The United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers were founded, and declared the official mascot of the Seattle Garages, at the start of Season 2.

Active Members

Mascot Submitter Description
Fanny Flannel Arturo Huerta A cut-up flannel jacket now used as a general purpose washcloth, with googly eyes.
Freezy Malik Destiny A secondary freezer with googly eyes.
Leif Mike Townsend A loaf of bread with googly eyes. Mike also submitted marketing materials and designs to rebrand the Garages as the Seattle Bread; the attempt failed, but the mascot was allowed to remain. For this reason, Leif was generally treated as lesser by the other mascots. Following Mike's career-defining performance in Season 6 and his heroic effort in the resurrection of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, Leif has received positive reevaluations in the Collective, especially since it's "not the kind with seeds and stuff."
Tammy Truck Theodore Duende A skateboard truck with googly eyes.
Terry Tire Oliver Mueller A pile of old tires with googly eyes.
Flailin' Freddy Four-Eyes Oliver Notarobot A googly eyed windup robot toy in the style of midcentury American sci fi, with googly eyes stuck to the back of the head.
Wally Walsh the Washer/Dryer Combo Lang Richardson A washer/dryer combo unit with googly eyes.
Wanda Summers Pony A toy magical girl wand, with googly eyes.
Frank the Big Peanut Oliver Loofah A giant broken peanut shell, with googly eyes.
Bart the Blahaj Brisket Friendo A blahaj with googly eyes.
Emblem Warhorse Emblem Warhorse A 3d printed version of the emblem, with a googly eye over the chess knight’s eye.
Charlie D Nolanestophia Patterson A CD with the entirety of The Sunset Tree by The Mountain Goats (and googly eyes) on it.
Theresa Thrice-Cursed Mcdowell Karim An old coffee mug, with the FWXBC logo and googly eyes.
Jeff the Photo of Jeff the Salmon Lenjamin Zhuge Lenji wanted to bring a salmon in as their mascot but couldn’t find a way to safely transport it, so they instead slapped a pair of googly eyes on a very blurry polaroid picture of the salmon.
Wavery Avery Alaynabella Hollywood An inflatable tube man with googly eyes.
Perry Wyatt Mason X A 1 foot tall letter W with googly eyes.
Igneous Iggy & Friends & Acquaintances & Enemy Penelope Mathews A large and ever expanding pile of stones, each with their own story and pair of googly eyes.
T.E.S.S. Durham Spaceman Some sort of bizarre and incomprehensible tesseract which is impossibly bright, with googly eyes.
Andrew, the Empty Mlonster Energy Drink Can Betsy Trombone A can which Betsy found on the floor of their room five minutes before the mascot meeting, with googly eyes. Initially the mascot’s name was far more vulgar (owing to Betsy’s coming up with it on the spot), which went over well until it was pointed out by a committee member that “There are gonna be kids at the games, man, we can’t call it that”. Since becoming a Friend of Crows, Betsy has attempted to replace their mascot with one of their crows (affectionately named Betsy Jr.), but as of yet they’ve been unable to keep the bird from shaking off the googly eyes for long enough to make it through the meeting.
Bartholomew the Guide to Out Efficiency Ortiz Morse A hardcover research paper designed to teach new pitchers how to maximize their Out Efficiency, and new batters how to minimize the Out Efficiency of the opposing pitcher. Both the front and back covers are entirely obscured by googly eyes.
Wally Wrench Magi Ruiz A large wrench with googly eyes so it looks like a face.
Ferrum Lithocarpus Fitzgerald Wanderlust An odd metal tree, with googly eyes.
Apian Albert Kathy Mathews An artificial bee hive, with googly eyes above the entrances.
Mr. Bubbles Michelle Sportsman A Scuba mask with googly eyes on the outside, she submitted it after she heard Lenji talking about how they wished they could submit a second mascot.
Tristian Discord, the 3D Printer Conrad Twelve A 3D printer that can only print googly eyes.
Tracker the Treadmill Dickerson Morse A well worn treadmill, with googly eyes over the buttons.
Lennifer Lasershow Torus McGhee An automated laser show that runs while the garages play. With googly eyes.
Cycling Carmen Axel Cardenas A motorcycle, with googly eyes on the front.
█████ Fynn Doyle ██████████████ with googly eyes.
Paper Parra Parker Parra A paper crane, with googly eyes.
Barker MacMillan Parker MacMillan Parker's fursona Barker. Despite Parker claiming the eyes were "already googly enough", a set of googly eyes were given to him to use while acting as an official mascot.
Aurora Borealis Abner Pothos A snowball that is enchanted to permanently burn with a cold blue flame, chilling itself and its surroundings. It was created by Pothos and the Antarctic Fireballs, during the brief time the Garages and the Fireballs were in the hall together. The googly eyes quickly frosted over, and removing the frost has proven extremely difficult. Pothos insists this is a temporary mascot, and will be replaced by Aurora Australis once she is unoccupied enough to attend a mascot meeting, but some team members[Who?] believe this is just an excuse for Pothos to attend more meetings.
Marzipan the Marionberry Marion Shriffle A marionberry bush, with googly eyes carefully placed on every single berry.
Barry the Big Balloon Collection The Big Garage The Big Garage cannot officially show up to a mascot meeting and submit them, but every balloon The Big Garage inflates has googly eyes and they are inflated to celebrate the Garages doing well, so they are counted as a mascot by the team.

Semi-Active Members

Mascot Submitter Description
Spencer the Semi-Sentient Superchunk Tour Poster Greer Gwiffin A Superchunk poster from their 2001 tour, with googly eyes.
Connie the Cone Jaylen Hotdogfingers A traffic cone with googly eyes.
Annie Amp Avila Guzman A Vox AC30 Amp with googly eyes.
Pec the Pecs Henry Marshallow Henry's pectoral muscles, on which he has stuck googly eyes.
Hubcap Hank Cedric Spliff A stolen hubcap from a 1970 Volvo P1800 with googly eyes.
Pike Gumson Farrell Seagull A stick of bubblegum with googly eyes. Farell wishes she could change it, but Malik Destiny and Lori Boston won't let her.
Apollo Howell Franklin An out of date model solar system, hanging from the roof of the big garage. Each planet has googly eyes.
Courtney the Catfish Quack Enjoyable A catfish (costume not actual fish) with googly eyes.
Larry Labrys Paula Mason A labrys, lodged in a table, with googly eyes.
Lightning Leo Paula Turnip A lightning rod, installed next to her greenhouse. The googly eyes are made of metal, so they aren’t damaged by lightning strikes.
Flowerful Fred Lotus Mango A large flower pot with googly eyes.
Pinball Parker Hiroto Wilcox A custom made pinball machine, with googly eyes on every bumper.
Armory the Avian Mint Aldon Cashmoney IV A collection of bird themed coins, with googly eyes.
Maddie Mindy Kugel A 3D diagram of the immaterial plane’s various weather phenomena, of the sort one might find in a science centre. Each weather has an associated character with googly eyes, who explains how the weathers function. The diagram is kept up to date by stadium volunteers as more is discovered about immaterial weather patterns.
Stamp the Lava Lamp Chorby Short A green lava lamp with googly eyes.
Dad’s burger for special blaseball players who did a great job today! Terrell Bradley A burger on the menu at Dad's Grill with edible googly eyes on top of the bun.
Sunny the Solar Panel Fairwood Patchwork A Solar Panel with googly eyes, to help power the other electronic mascots.
Mossbound Vivian Liquid Friend VI A small pond, with googly eyes on a central mossy stone. To avoid negative impacts on the stadium’s wildlife, substitute ponds will be used when playing in other stadiums.
Anthony the Plasmarang Uncle Plasma VI A boomerang with googly eyes at one end.
Anthony the Plasmarang -1 Uncle Plasma II A boomerang with googly eyes at the other end.
Mark Castillo Turner A shovel, with googly eyes on the handle.
Dotty Lori Boston The only known mascot without googly eyes (though it could be argued that the fursuit's eyes look pretty googly), Lori Boston dresses as her Fursona and acts as a general team mascot since her resignation from active play.

Retired Members

Mascot Submitter Description
Arthur Bennett Browning An artificial Christmas tree with googly eyes.
Casey Cat Tree Derrick Krueger A heavily clawed-upon cat tree with googly eyes.
Tiana Cash Tiana Cash Tiana Cash submitted herself as her own mascot, and stuck googly eyes to her face during other players' at-bats.
Wally Workbench Shaquille Torres A workbench with googly eyes.
Carrie T Ron Monstera A broken down CRT television with googly eyes.
Rolly Rower Luis Acevedo An old rowing machine covered in dust, with googly eyes.
Seamus the Box of Small Press Comics Allison Abbott A short box of limited run small press comics with googly eyes.
Mx Mug Sparks Beans A coffee mug that they painted at a pottery painting place, with googly eyes.
Hard Rock Henry Carmelo Plums A nice pair of sunglasses, with googly eyes on the inside of the lenses.
Whatever, just take this York Silk York Silk submitted signed memorabilia, an old uniform, and a replica vibe check. Googly eyes were later placed on the items.
Io Underhill Nagomi Mcdaniel Nagomi Mcdaniel was only in Seattle for the duration of a single layover, but when the band gave her an instrument in the airport she gave the band an IOU for 1 hell puppy in return. The team stuck googly eyes to the IOU and use that as her official mascot.
Pete the Party Shark Chorby Soul A shark wearing a party hat and playing the guitar, with googly eyes.
Orangey the Not-blue Juice Goodwin Morin A case of orange juice she found when she first arrived in our Seattle.
Patrick Mercy Pitching Machine A parking meter, still attached to the concrete it was pulled out of. Googly eyes are placed to prevent anyone from being able to insert money.
The Unnamed Ancient Sarcophagus Tot Clark An unnamed ancient sarcophagus with googly eyes.
Sol the Sun Lamp Lenny Marijuana A sun lamp with googly eyes, that he keeps with him while he’s in the shadows.