United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
The United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers, also known as the Seattle Garages Mascot Collective, is a union representing the Seattle Garages mascots that appear during home games at the Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility. Following negotiations between players and Garages management, it is also the official mascot for the Seattle Garages.
Following the complete rejection by Garages fans of their initial mascot, Jerry the Car, Garages management turned to its active playing roster to come up with a new mascot that would better reflect the city, the team, and their fans. Every single player in the team having pitched their own mascot, the situation quickly reached a deadlock, which was devastating for the team's morale and ability to train. With days left until the start of the regular season, an agreement was reached, letting all 13 mascots represent the Garages during home games. Following the incineration of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, mascots, players, and management agreed to a more formal process of representation, which would allow new player Derrick Krueger to pitch his mascot and have it be part of the collective. The United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers were founded, and declared the official mascot of the Seattle Garages, at the start of Season β2.
|A cut-up flannel jacket now used as a general purpose washcloth, with googly eyes.
|A secondary freezer with googly eyes.
|A loaf of bread with googly eyes. Mike also submitted marketing materials and designs to rebrand the Garages as the Seattle Bread; the attempt failed, but the mascot was allowed to remain. For this reason, Leif was generally treated as lesser by the other mascots. Following Mike's career-defining performance in Season 6 and his heroic effort in the resurrection of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, Leif has received positive reevaluations in the Collective, especially since it's "not the kind with seeds and stuff."
|A skateboard truck with googly eyes.
|A pile of old tires with googly eyes.
|Flailin' Freddy Four-Eyes
|A googly eyed windup robot toy in the style of midcentury American sci fi, with googly eyes stuck to the back of the head.
|Wally Walsh the Washer/Dryer Combo
|A washer/dryer combo unit with googly eyes.
|A toy magical girl wand, with googly eyes.
|Frank the Big Peanut
|A giant broken peanut shell, with googly eyes.
|Bart the Blahaj
|A blahaj with googly eyes.
|A 3d printed version of the emblem, with a googly eye over the chess knight’s eye.
|A CD with the entirety of The Sunset Tree by The Mountain Goats (and googly eyes) on it.
|An old coffee mug, with the FWXBC logo and googly eyes.
|Jeff the Photo of Jeff the Salmon
|Lenji wanted to bring a salmon in as their mascot but couldn’t find a way to safely transport it, so they instead slapped a pair of googly eyes on a very blurry polaroid picture of the salmon.
|An inflatable tube man with googly eyes.
|Wyatt Mason X
|A 1 foot tall letter W with googly eyes.
|Igneous Iggy & Friends & Acquaintances & Enemy
|A large and ever expanding pile of stones, each with their own story and pair of googly eyes.
|Some sort of bizarre and incomprehensible tesseract which is impossibly bright, with googly eyes.
|Andrew, the Empty Mlonster Energy Drink Can
|A can which Betsy found on the floor of their room five minutes before the mascot meeting, with googly eyes. Initially the mascot’s name was far more vulgar (owing to Betsy’s coming up with it on the spot), which went over well until it was pointed out by a committee member that “There are gonna be kids at the games, man, we can’t call it that”. Since becoming a Friend of Crows, Betsy has attempted to replace their mascot with one of their crows (affectionately named Betsy Jr.), but as of yet they’ve been unable to keep the bird from shaking off the googly eyes for long enough to make it through the meeting.
|Bartholomew the Guide to Out Efficiency
|A hardcover research paper designed to teach new pitchers how to maximize their Out Efficiency, and new batters how to minimize the Out Efficiency of the opposing pitcher. Both the front and back covers are entirely obscured by googly eyes.
|A large wrench with googly eyes so it looks like a face.
|An odd metal tree, with googly eyes.
|An artificial bee hive, with googly eyes above the entrances.
|A Scuba mask with googly eyes on the outside, she submitted it after she heard Lenji talking about how they wished they could submit a second mascot.
|Tristian Discord, the 3D Printer
|A 3D printer that can only print googly eyes.
|Tracker the Treadmill
|A well worn treadmill, with googly eyes over the buttons.
|An automated laser show that runs while the garages play. With googly eyes.
|A motorcycle, with googly eyes on the front.
|██████████████ with googly eyes.
|A paper crane, with googly eyes.
|Parker's fursona Barker. Despite Parker claiming the eyes were "already googly enough", a set of googly eyes were given to him to use while acting as an official mascot.
|A snowball that is enchanted to permanently burn with a cold blue flame, chilling itself and its surroundings. It was created by Pothos and the Antarctic Fireballs, during the brief time the Garages and the Fireballs were in the hall together. The googly eyes quickly frosted over, and removing the frost has proven extremely difficult. Pothos insists this is a temporary mascot, and will be replaced by Aurora Australis once she is unoccupied enough to attend a mascot meeting, but some team members[Who?] believe this is just an excuse for Pothos to attend more meetings.
|Marzipan the Marionberry
|A marionberry bush, with googly eyes carefully placed on every single berry.
|Barry the Big Balloon Collection
|The Big Garage
|The Big Garage cannot officially show up to a mascot meeting and submit them, but every balloon The Big Garage inflates has googly eyes and they are inflated to celebrate the Garages doing well, so they are counted as a mascot by the team.
|Spencer the Semi-Sentient Superchunk Tour Poster
|A Superchunk poster from their 2001 tour, with googly eyes.
|Connie the Cone
|A traffic cone with googly eyes.
|A Vox AC30 Amp with googly eyes.
|Pec the Pecs
|Henry's pectoral muscles, on which he has stuck googly eyes.
|A stolen hubcap from a 1970 Volvo P1800 with googly eyes.
|A stick of bubblegum with googly eyes. Farell wishes she could change it, but Malik Destiny and Lori Boston won't let her.
|An out of date model solar system, hanging from the roof of the big garage. Each planet has googly eyes.
|Courtney the Catfish
|A catfish (costume not actual fish) with googly eyes.
|A labrys, lodged in a table, with googly eyes.
|A lightning rod, installed next to her greenhouse. The googly eyes are made of metal, so they aren’t damaged by lightning strikes.
|A large flower pot with googly eyes.
|A custom made pinball machine, with googly eyes on every bumper.
|Armory the Avian Mint
|Aldon Cashmoney IV
|A collection of bird themed coins, with googly eyes.
|A 3D diagram of the immaterial plane’s various weather phenomena, of the sort one might find in a science centre. Each weather has an associated character with googly eyes, who explains how the weathers function. The diagram is kept up to date by stadium volunteers as more is discovered about immaterial weather patterns.
|Stamp the Lava Lamp
|A green lava lamp with googly eyes.
|Dad’s burger for special blaseball players who did a great job today!
|A burger on the menu at Dad's Grill with edible googly eyes on top of the bun.
|Sunny the Solar Panel
|A Solar Panel with googly eyes, to help power the other electronic mascots.
|Liquid Friend VI
|A small pond, with googly eyes on a central mossy stone. To avoid negative impacts on the stadium’s wildlife, substitute ponds will be used when playing in other stadiums.
|Anthony the Plasmarang
|Uncle Plasma VI
|A boomerang with googly eyes at one end.
|Anthony the Plasmarang -1
|Uncle Plasma II
|A boomerang with googly eyes at the other end.
|A shovel, with googly eyes on the handle.
|The only known mascot without googly eyes (though it could be argued that the fursuit's eyes look pretty googly), Lori Boston dresses as her Fursona and acts as a general team mascot since her resignation from active play.
|An artificial Christmas tree with googly eyes.
|Casey Cat Tree
|A heavily clawed-upon cat tree with googly eyes.
|Tiana Cash submitted herself as her own mascot, and stuck googly eyes to her face during other players' at-bats.
|A workbench with googly eyes.
|A broken down CRT television with googly eyes.
|An old rowing machine covered in dust, with googly eyes.
|Seamus the Box of Small Press Comics
|A short box of limited run small press comics with googly eyes.
|A coffee mug that they painted at a pottery painting place, with googly eyes.
|Hard Rock Henry
|A nice pair of sunglasses, with googly eyes on the inside of the lenses.
|Whatever, just take this
|York Silk submitted signed memorabilia, an old uniform, and a replica vibe check. Googly eyes were later placed on the items.
|Nagomi Mcdaniel was only in Seattle for the duration of a single layover, but when the band gave her an instrument in the airport she gave the band an IOU for 1 hell puppy in return. The team stuck googly eyes to the IOU and use that as her official mascot.
|Pete the Party Shark
|A shark wearing a party hat and playing the guitar, with googly eyes.
|Orangey the Not-blue Juice
|A case of orange juice she found when she first arrived in our Seattle.
|A parking meter, still attached to the concrete it was pulled out of. Googly eyes are placed to prevent anyone from being able to insert money.
|The Unnamed Ancient Sarcophagus
|An unnamed ancient sarcophagus with googly eyes.
|Sol the Sun Lamp
|A sun lamp with googly eyes, that he keeps with him while he’s in the shadows.
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|The Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility
|United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers · Seattle Garages Stadium and Training Volunteers · Seattle Garages Lil' Roadies
|Dark Seattle · Seattle Gum Wall · Ron Monstera Memorial Cat Cafe and Sanctuary · Seattle Shadows Co-op
|Seattle Garages's History · Jamazon · Dark Seattle Corporates · Operation DEBT Collection
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