United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers

The United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers, also known as the Seattle Garages Mascot Collective, is a union representing the Seattle Garages mascots that appear during home games at the Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility. Following negotiations between players and Garages management, it is also the official mascot for the Seattle Garages.

History

Following the complete rejection by Garages fans of their initial mascot, Jerry the Car, Garages management turned to its active playing roster to come up with a new mascot that would better reflect the city, the team, and their fans. Every single player in the team having pitched their own mascot, the situation quickly reached a deadlock, which was devastating for the team's morale and ability to train. With days left until the start of the regular season, an agreement was reached, letting all 13 mascots represent the Garages during home games. Following the incineration of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, mascots, players, and management agreed to a more formal process of representation, which would allow new player Derrick Krueger to pitch his mascot and have it be part of the collective. The United Seattle Garages Mascot Workers were founded, and declared the official mascot of the Seattle Garages, at the start of Season 2.

Active Members

• Fanny Flannel (submitted by Arturo Huerta) - A cut-up flannel jacket now used as a general purpose washcloth, with googly eyes.
• Freezy (submitted by Malik Destiny) - A secondary freezer with googly eyes.
• Leif (submitted by Mike Townsend) - A loaf of bread with googly eyes. Mike also submitted marketing materials and designs to rebrand the Garages as the Seattle Bread; the attempt failed, but the mascot was allowed to remain. For this reason, Leif was generally treated as lesser by the other mascots. Following Mike's career-defining performance in Season 6 and his heroic effort in the resurrection of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, Leif has received positive reevaluations in the Collective, especially since it's "not the kind with seeds and stuff".
• Tammy Truck (Submitted by Theodore Duende) - A skateboard truck with googly eyes.
• Terry Tire (submitted by Oliver Mueller) - A pile of old tires with googly eyes.
• The Unnamed Ancient Sarcophagus (submitted by Tot Clark) - An unnamed ancient sarcophagus with googly eyes.
• Flailin' Freddy Four-Eyes (submitted by Oliver Notarobot) - A googly eyed windup robot toy in the style of midcentury American sci fi, with googly eyes stuck to the back of the head.
• Dotty (submitted by Lori Boston)- the only known mascot without googly eyes (though it could be argued that the fursuit's eyes look pretty googly), Lori Boston dresses as her Fursona and acts as a general team mascot since her resignation from active play.
• Wally Walsh the Washer/Dryer Combo (submitted by Lang Richardson) - A washer/dryer combo unit with googly eyes.
• Wanda (submitted by Summers Pony) - A toy magical girl wand, with googly eyes.
• Frank the Big Peanut (submitted by Oliver Loofah) - A giant broken peanut shell, with googly eyes.
• Bart the Blahaj (submitted by Brisket Friendo) - A blahaj with googly eyes.
• Emblem Warhorse (submitted by Emblem Warhorse) - A 3d printed version of the emblem, with a googly eye over the chess knight’s eye.
• Charlie D (submitted by Nolanestophia Patterson) - A CD with the entirety of The Sunset Tree by The Mountain Goats (and googly eyes) on it.
• Theresa Thrice-Cursed (submitted by Mcdowell Karim) - A wrapped up tarot deck with googly eyes.
• Jeff the Photo of Jeff the Salmon (submitted by Lenjamin Zhuge) - Lenji wanted to bring a salmon in as their mascot but couldn’t find a way to safely transport it, so they instead slapped a pair of googly eyes on a very blurry polaroid picture of the salmon.
• Wavery Avery (submitted by Alaynabella Hollywood) - An inflatable tube man with googly eyes.
• Perry (submitted by Wyatt Mason X) - A 1 foot tall letter W with googly eyes.
• Igneous Iggy & Friends & Acquaintances & Enemy (submitted by Penelope Mathews) - A large and ever expanding pile of stones, each with their own story and pair of googly eyes.
• T.E.S.S. (submitted by Durham Spaceman) - Some sort of bizarre and incomprehensible tesseract which is impossibly bright, with googly eyes.
• Andrew, the Empty Mlonster Energy Drink Can (submitted by Betsy Trombone) - A can which Betsy found on the floor of their room five minutes before the mascot meeting, with googly eyes. Initially the mascot’s name was far more vulgar (owing to Betsy’s coming up with it on the spot), which went over well until it was pointed out by a committee member that “There are gonna be kids at the games, man, we can’t call it that”. Since becoming a Friend of Crows, Betsy has attempted to replace their mascot with one of their crows (affectionately named Betsy Jr.), but as of yet they’ve been unable to keep the bird from shaking off the googly eyes for long enough to make it through the meeting.
• Bartholomew the Guide to Out Efficiency (submitted by Ortiz Morse) - A hardcover research paper designed to teach new pitchers how to maximize their Out Efficiency, and new batters how to minimize the Out Efficiency of the opposing pitcher. Both the front and back covers are entirely obscured by googly eyes.
• Sol the Sun Lamp (submitted by Lenny Marijuana) - A sun lamp with googly eyes, that he keeps with him while he’s in the shadows.
• Wally Wrench (submitted by Magi Ruiz) - A large wrench with googly eyes so it looks like a face.
• Ferrum Lithocarpus (submitted by Fitzgerald Wanderlust) - An odd metal tree, with googly eyes.
• Apian Albert (submitted by Kathy Mathews) - An artificial bee hive, with googly eyes above the entrances.
• Mr. Bubbles (submitted by Michelle Sportsman) - A Scuba mask with googly eyes on the outside, she submitted it after she heard Lenji talking about how they wished they could submit a second mascot.
• Tristian Discord, the 3D Printer (submitted by Conrad Twelve) - A 3D printer that can only print googly eyes.
• Tracker the Treadmill (submitted by Dickerson Morse) - A well worn treadmill, with googly eyes over the buttons.
• Mark (submitted by Castillo Turner) - A shovel, with googly eyes on the handle.
• Lennifer Lasershow (submitted by Torus McGhee) - An automated laser show that runs while the garages play. With googly eyes.
• Cycling Carmen (submitted by Axel Cardenas) - A motorcycle, with googly eyes on the front.
• █████ (submitted by Fynn Doyle) - ██████████████ with googly eyes.
• Paper Parra (submitted by Parker Parra) - A paper crane, with googly eyes.
• Barry the Big Balloon Collection (submitted by The Big Garage) - The Big Garage cannot officially show up to a mascot meeting and submit them, but every balloon the big garage inflates has googly eyes and they are inflated to celebrate the garages doing well, so they are counted as a mascot by the team.

Semi-Active Members

• Spencer the Semi-Sentient Superchunk Tour Poster (submitted by Greer Gwiffin) - A Superchunk poster from their 2001 tour, with googly eyes.
• Connie the Cone (submitted by Jaylen Hotdogfingers) - A traffic cone with googly eyes.
• Annie Amp (submitted by Avila Guzman)- A Vox AC30 Amp with googly eyes.
• Pec the Pecs (submitted by Henry Marshallow) - Henry's pectoral muscles, on which he has stuck googly eyes.
• Hubcap Hank (submitted by Cedric Spliff) - A stolen hubcap from a 1970 Volvo P1800 with googly eyes.
• Pike Gumson (submitted by Farrell Seagull) - A stick of bubblegum with googly eyes. Farell wishes she could change it, but Malik Destiny and Lori Boston won't let her.
• Apollo (submitted by Howell Franklin) - An out of date model solar system, hanging from the roof of the big garage. Each planet has googly eyes.
• Courtney the Catfish (submitted by Quack Enjoyable) - A catfish (costume not actual fish) with googly eyes.
• Larry Labrys (submitted by Paula Mason) - A labrys, lodged in a table, with googly eyes.
• Lightning Leo (submitted by Paula Turnip - A lightning rod, installed next to her greenhouse. The googly eyes are made of metal, so they aren’t damaged by lightning strikes.
• Flowerful Fred (submitted by Lotus Mango - A large flower pot with googly eyes.
• Pinball Parker (submitted by Hiroto Wilcox - A custom made pinball machine, with googly eyes on every bumper.
• Armory the Avian Mint (Submitted by Aldon Cashmoney IV) - A collection of bird themed coins, with googly eyes.
• Maddie (submitted by Mindy Kugel) - A 3D diagram of the immaterial plane’s various weather phenomena, of the sort one might find in a science centre. Each weather has an associated character with googly eyes, who explains how the weathers function. The diagram is kept up to date by stadium volunteers as more is discovered about immaterial weather patterns.
• Stamp the Lava Lamp (submitted by Chorby Short) - A green lava lamp with googly eyes.
• Dad’s burger for special blaseball players who did a great job today! (submitted by Terrell Bradley) - A burger on the menu at Dad's Grill with edible googly eyes on top of the bun.
• Sunny the Solar Panel (submitted by Fairwood Patchwork) - A Solar Panel with googly eyes, to help power the other electronic mascots.
• Mossbound Vivian (submitted by Liquid Friend VI) - A small pond, with googly eyes on a central mossy stone. To avoid negative impacts on the stadium’s wildlife, substitute ponds will be used when playing in other stadiums.
• Anthony the Plasmarang (submitted by Uncle Plasma VI) - A boomerang with googly eyes at one end.
• Anthony the Plasmarang -1 (submitted by Uncle Plasma II) - A boomerang with googly eyes at the other end.

Retired Members

• Arthur (submitted by Bennett Browning) - An artificial Christmas tree with googly eyes.
• Casey Cat Tree (submitted by Derrick Krueger) - A heavily clawed-upon cat tree with googly eyes.
• Tiana Cash - Tiana Cash submitted herself as her own mascot, and stuck googly eyes to her face during other players' at-bats.
• Wally Workbench (submitted by Shaquille Torres) - A workbench with googly eyes.
• Carrie T (submitted by Ron Monstera) - A broken down CRT television with googly eyes.
• Rolly Rower (submitted by Luis Acevedo) - An old rowing machine covered in dust, with googly eyes.
• Seamus the Box of Small Press Comics (submitted by Allison Abbott) - A short box of limited run small press comics with googly eyes.
• Mx Mug (submitted by Sparks Beans) - A coffee mug that they painted at a pottery painting place, with googly eyes.
• Hard Rock Henry (submitted by Carmelo Plums) - A nice pair of sunglasses, with googly eyes on the inside of the lenses.
• Whatever, just take this (submitted by York Silk) - York Silk submitted signed memorabilia, an old uniform, and a replica vibe check. Googly eyes were later placed on the items.
• Io Underhill (submitted by Nagomi Mcdaniel) - Nagomi Mcdaniel was only in Seattle for the duration of a single layover, but when the band gave her an instrument in the airport she gave the band an IOU for 1 hell puppy in return. The team stuck googly eyes to the IOU and use that as her official mascot.
• Pete the Party Shark (submitted by Chorby Soul) - A shark wearing a party hat and playing the guitar, with googly eyes.
• Orangey the Not-blue Juice (submitted by Goodwin Morin) - A case of orange juice she found when she first arrived in our Seattle.
• Patrick Mercy (submitted by Pitching Machine) - A parking meter, still attached to the concrete it was pulled out of. Googly eyes are placed to prevent anyone from being able to insert money.