User:QuinnT

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Hi all, I'm Quinn and I'm a fan of the Canada Moist Talkers. I mostly do OLR edits!

Blaseball Return Prep

Canada Moist Talkers
Logo by Q Peiffer. @longhairQ
Former Names	Topeka Moist Talkers
League	Internet League Blaseball
Subleague	Mild League
Division	Mild Low
Ballpark	Gleek Arena
Modifications	Targeted Shame (Season 8, 10)Teams with Targeted Shame will start with negative runs the game after being shamed. See also: Glossary  The Fifth Base (Season 10)Ballpark: Teams playing in this Ballpark must run five bases instead of four. Team: This Team must run five bases instead of four. See also: Glossary  Earlbirds (Season 12)This Team or Player will Overperform in the Earlseason.  Flood BathWhen Runners on this Team are cleared via Flooding, they'll become Slippery for the remainder of the game.  H20Players with H20 will always swing at strikes while there are 2 Outs.  High PressureThis Team or Player will play 25% better in Flooding weather when runners are on base.  ModerationThis Team will accept Unruns after each non-loss so that they only non-lose by 1 Run.  RoamlessPlayers cannot Roam to this Team.  RogueThis Team is Out for a Surprise Attack.  Under ReviewThis Team is Under Review...
Home Location	Topeka (former) Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Team Slogan	"SPRAY IT, DON'T SAY IT" (former) "Talk Spit, Get Hits"
Team Colors	#e5f4f5, #ed1c24, #3B97D3, #035597
Emoji	🗣️
Arcanum	V The Hierophant
Championships	●●●
Team Abbreviation	CAN
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Team Page
Variants
Short Circuits	Canada Moist Talkers (Gamma 1) Canada Moist Talkers (Gamma 2) Canada Moist Talkers (Gamma 3) Canada Moist Talkers (Gamma 4)
Mascot	FASHION
Social media	@MoistTalkers

The Canada Moist Talkers (formerly the Topeka Moist Talkers) are a Blaseball team that competes in the PLACEHOLDER division of the PLACEHOLDER LEAGUE.

During the Discipline Era, the Moist Talkers originally competed in the Chaotic Evil division. After the High Filter decree passed in the election following Season 5, they were placed into the Mild High division of The Mild League, later moving to the Mild Low division after the Season 10 election, where they played the entirety of the Expansion Era. They have been a member of Internet League Blaseball since Season D when they, then named the Topeka Moist Talkers, joined as an incineration replacement for the Canada Artists.

Following Fall Ball, TBD.

Roster

Lineup	Rotation
Eris Street Russo Slugger Nerd James Abner Pothos Tad Seeth Gloria Bentley	None
Shadows
None

Select Tlopps cards can be found here

Former Players

The Discipline Era (Seasons 1 to 11)

Beta
Date	Removed		Added			Cause
02 72	Trevino Merritt	🏏	Simon Haley	🗣️	🏏	Incineration
02 EL	Oliver Notarobot	⚾	PolkaDot Patterson	🦀	⚾	Blessing (🗣️)	Defection
03 19	Kennedy Alstott	🏏	Lachlan Shelton	🗣️	🏏	Incineration
03 44	Tyler Violet	🏏	Ziwa Mueller	🗣️	🏏	Incineration
04 28	Joe Voorhees	🏏	Workman Gloom	👟	🏏	Feedback
06 19	Richmond Harrison	🏏	Fish Summer	🐅	🏏	Feedback
06 23	Lachlan Shelton	🏏	Antonio Wallace	👟	🏏	Feedback
06 82	Hobbs Cain	🏏	Alston Cerveza	🥧	🏏	Feedback
07 32	Elijah Bates	🏏	Kiki Familia	🗣️	🏏	Incineration
07 33	Kiki Familia	🏏	Quack Enjoyable	🗣️	🏏	Incineration
07 33	Antonio Wallace	🏏	Beans McBlase	🗣️	🏏	Incineration
07 81	Workman Gloom	🏏	Commissioner Vapor	🗣️	🏏	Incineration
08 42	Quack Enjoyable	🏏	Cedric Spliff	🎸	🏏	Feedback
08 44	Eugenia Garbage	🏏	Lachlan Shelton	👟	🏏	Feedback
08 44	Simon Haley	🏏	Eugenia Garbage	👟	🏏	Feedback
09 53	Ortiz Morse	⚾	Jaylen Hotdogfingers	🎸	⚾	Feedback
09 64	Jaylen Hotdogfingers	⚾	Beasley Gloom	👟	⚾	Feedback
10 EL	-		York Silk	🥜	🏏	Fell to Team	SHELLED ONE's Defeat
12 EL	PolkaDot Patterson	⚾	Doc Anice	🛠️	⚾	Will (🛠️)	Exchange
13 41	Doc Anice	⚾	Bright Zimmerman	🥧	⚾	Feedback
13 EL	Shirai McElroy	⚾	PolkaDot Patterson	🛠️	⚾	Will (🗣️)	Exchange
14 87	York Silk	🏏	Lucien Patchwork	🗣️	🏏	Incineration
14 EL	Bright Zimmerman	⚾	-			Will (🗣️)	Revoke
15 EL	PolkaDot Patterson	⚾	Sixpack Dogwalker		⚾	Will (🥩)	Plunder
15 EL	Fish Summer	🏏	York Silk	🦀	🏏	Will (🗣️)	Plunder
16 EL	Alston Cerveza	🏏	Richmond Harrison	🌞	🏏	Will (🗣️)	Equivalent Exchange
16 EL	York Silk	🏏	Carmelo Plums	🎸	🏏	Will (🎸)	Plunder
17 EL	Carmelo Plums	⚾	Goobie Ballson	🔥	⚾	Will (🗣️)	Equivalent Exchange
18 LS	-		York Silk III	🗣️	🏏	Gift Shop
18 EL	Richmond Harrison	🏏	Randy Dennis	🚤	🏏	Will (🚤)	Equivalent Exchange
18 EL	York Silk III	🏏	-			Dust
19 EL	Goobie Ballson	⚾	Cudi Di Batterino	🏋️	⚾	Will (🗣️)	Equivalent Exchange
20 09	Jesús Koch	🏏	-			Super Roamin'
20 27	-		Jesús Koch	💋	🏏	Super Roamin'
20 36	Jesús Koch	🏏	-			Super Roamin'
20 LS			Chorby Soul VI	🗣️	🏏	Gift Shop
20 92	Greer Lott	⚾	Jacoby Podcast	🥧	⚾	Feedback
20 EL	Beans McBlase	🏏	Greer Lott	🥧	🏏	Will (🗣️)	Equivalent Exchange
20 EL	Commissioner Vapor	🏏	-			Blessing (🕵️)	Fringe Benefit
20 EL	Chorby Soul VI	🏏	-			Dust
21 EL	Augusto Reddick	🏏	PolkaDot Patterson	🛠️	🏏	Will (🛠️)	Equivalent Exchange
21 EL	Lachlan Shelton	🏏	Nicholas Mora	🐅	🏏	Will (🗣️)	Equivalent Exchange
21 EL	Cudi Di Batterino	⚾	Freemium Seraph	🏋️	🏏	Will (🏋️)	Equivalent Exchange
21 EL	Nicholas Mora	🏏	-			Blessing	Recruit Ego
22 LS	-		Liquid Friend XII	🗣️	🏏	Gift Shop
22 LS	-		Uncle Plasma XII	🗣️	⚾	Gift Shop
22 EL	Randy Dennis	🏏	Slosh Truk		🏏	Will (🗣️)	Equivalent Exchange
22 EL	Tucker Flores	👥	-			Blessing (🎸)	Gachapon
22 EL	Ziwa Mueller	⚾	Tiana Wheeler		⚾	Blessing (✨)	Little Swap
22 EL	Liquid Friend XII	🏏	-			Dust
22 EL	-		Mags Banananana	🏋️	⚾	Roamin'
22 EL	-		Alejandro Leaf	💀	⚾	Roamin'
23 117	Slosh Truk	🏏	-			ILB Semi-Centennial	Entered the Shadows
23 117	PolkaDot Patterson	🏏	-			ILB Semi-Centennial	Entered the Shadows
23 117	Tiana Wheeler	👥	-			ILB Semi-Centennial
23 117	Eugenia Garbage	🏏	-			ILB Semi-Centennial	Entered the Shadows
23 117	-		Slosh Truk	💫	⚾	ILB Semi-Centennial
23 117	-		PolkaDot Patterson	💫	🏏	ILB Semi-Centennial
23 117	-		Tiana Wheeler	💫	👥	ILB Semi-Centennial
23 117	-		Eugenia Garbage	💫	⚾	ILB Semi-Centennial
23 EL	Rosstin Andante	👥	-			Blessing (🌮)	Gachapon
23 EL	Mags Banananana	⚾	-			Roamin'
23 EL	Alejandro Leaf	⚾	-			Roamin'
23 EL	Uncle Plasma XII	⚾	-			Dust

Season Results

The Discipline Era (Seasons 1 to 11)

Discipline Era
Season	Wins	Record	Postseason	Season Summary
1 - The Return	50	50-49	Did not qualify.	Did not receive any blessings in the election.
2 - The Discipline Era	55	55-44	Quarterfinalists L 0-3 vs. Philly Pies	The Moist Talkers won the Defection blessing with 3% of the vote, stealing PolkaDot Patterson from the Baltimore Crabs, and sending back Oliver Notarobot.
3 - Peanut Plague/Uncertainty	53	53-46	Quarterfinalists L 2-3 vs. Philly Pies	Did not receive any blessings in the election.
4 - Feedback	53	53-46	Quarterfinalists L 2-3 vs. Hades Tigers	As a result of the Alternate Reality decree, Moist Talkers batter Jesús Koch and pitcher Jenkins Good had their alternates called, resulting in a reroll of their stats. The Moist Talkers won the Questioning Their Every Decision blessing with 8% of the vote, impairing the vibes of the Houston Spies, Miami Dale, Seattle Garages, and Breckenridge Jazz Hands by 7%.
5 - Reverb	55	55-44	Semifinalists W 3-1 vs. Baltimore Crabs L 2-3 vs. Breckenridge Jazz Hands	As a result of the High Filter decree, the Moist Talkers were moved into the new Mild High division. The Moist Talkers won the Flame-Resistant Foam blessing with 8% of the vote, making them immune to incineration for Season 6.
6 - Idols	48	48-51	Did not qualify.	Did not receive any blessings in the election.
7 - Getting Shelled	42	42-57	Did not qualify.	The Moist Talkers won the Scorpler's Jacket blessing with 3% of the vote, granting Jesús Koch Mclaughlin Scorpler's Memorial Fireproof Jacket, and making them immune to incineration.
8 - Rest in Violence	48	48-51	Did not qualify.	The Moist Talkers won the Barrel of Tiny Eggs blessing with 16% of the vote, granting all fans of the Canada Moist Talkers 10000 peanuts.
9 - Forecast	50	50-49	Did not qualify.	Due to the Season 9 Forecast Decrees, Beans McBlase gained  SiphonSiphons will steal blood more often in Blooddrain and use it in more ways., Jenkins Good gained  Friend of CrowsIn Birds weather, pitchers with Friend of Crows will encourage the Birds to attack hitters. The crows will attack a hitter, resulting in an automatic out., and Fish Summer gained  Fire EaterFire Eaters swallow fire instead of being incinerated. modifications. The Moist Talkers won the Eat me, Drink me blessing with 2% of the vote, boosting Beans McBlase's Power and Max Vibes, but decreasing their Baserunning. The Moist Talkers also won the Tag Team Hitting blessing with 7% of the vote, boosting the hitting of the Moist Talkers and the Unlimited Tacos by 10%. Third, the Moist Talkers won the Boatload of Tiny Eggs blessing with 45% of the vote, granting all fans of the Canada Moist Talkers 10000 peanuts. Lastly, the Moist Talkers won the Fishing Net blessing with 9% of the vote, maxing out the defensive stats of Cedric Spliff. As a result of the Crabs winning the Fifth Base Bubble blessing, Fifth Base was inflicted on the Moist Talkers for Season 10. As a result of the Flowers winning the The Shame Bubble blessing, Targeted Shame was inflicted on the Moist Talkers for Season 10.
10 - Backdraft	67	67-32	Quarterfinalists L 1-3 vs. New York Millennials	As a result of the Shelled One's defeat on Day X, York Silk fell to the Moist Talkers as a lineup player. The Moist Talkers won the Divisional Swap blessing with 38% of the vote, swapping divisions into Mild Low, and sending the Philly Pies into Mild High.
11 - Peace & Prosperity	65	65-39	Quarterfinalists L 1-3 vs. Yellowstone Magic	The Moist Talkers won the V blessing with 51% of the vote, granting them V The Hierophant as their Tarot Card.

The Expansion Era (Seasons 12 to 24)

Expansion Era
Season	Wins	Record	Postseason	Season Summary
12 - The Expansion Era	55	55-44	Did not qualify.	The Moist Talkers received the Trust will with a 1% chance, granting PolkaDot Patterson the  FlippersWhen immateria floods, this Runner will score instead of being cleared from the Bases. modification. The Moist Talkers also received the Infuse will with a 43% chance, granting Greer Lott a stat increase from 11.5 → 15.9 combined stars. The Moist Talkers won the Earlbirds blessing with 2% of the vote, giving the team the  Earlbirds modification for Season 13's Earlseason. The Moist Talkers also won the Tag Team Hitting blessing with 4% of the vote, boosting the hitting of the Moist Talkers and the Ohio Worms by 10%.
13 - Home Free	57	57-42	Quarterfinalists L 2-3 vs. Hawai'i Fridays	The Moist Talkers received the Foreshadow will with a 26% chance, shadowing Mooney Doctor in exchange for Shirai McElroy. The Moist Talkers also received the Plunder will with a 6% chance, targeting PolkaDot Patterson in exchange for the freshly-unshadowed Shirai McElroy. The Moist Talkers won the High Pressure blessing with 25% of the vote, granting the team the  High Pressure modification.
14 - The -ides	68	68-31	ILB Champions W 3-0 vs. Baltimore Crabs W 3-2 vs. Yellowstone Magic W 3-0 vs. LA Unlimited Tacos	The Moist Talkers received the Infuse will with a 5% chance, granting Lucien Patchwork a stat increase from 6.0 → 11.1 combined stars. The Moist Talkers also received the Revoke will with a 38% chance, revoking Bright Zimmerman, who then roamed to the Charleston Shoe Thieves. The Moist Talkers won the Headliners blessing with 7% of the vote, sorting their lineup by Idolatry.
15 - Live Bait	62	62-37	ILB Champions W 3-1 vs. New York Millennials W 3-1 vs. Baltimore Crabs W 3-1 vs. Mexico City Wild Wings	As a result of the Bats decree, all players on the Moist Talkers' active roster received a Bat item. The Moist Talkers received the Transfuse will with a 4% chance, granting Greer Lott a pitching stat increase of 3.4 → 4.6 while giving them a batting star decrease of 4.4 → 4.2 . The Moist Talkers also received the Plunder will with an 11% chance, targeting York Silk in exchange for Fish Summer. As a result of the Steaks' Plunder will, Sixpack Dogwalker was traded to the Moist Talkers for PolkaDot Patterson. The Moist Talkers won the Water Logged blessing with 43% of the vote, granting the team the  H20 blood type.
16 - Mass Production	64	64-35	Quarterfinalists L 2-3 vs. Core Mechanics	The Moist Talkers received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 13% chance, trading Alston Cerveza for Richmond Harrison of the Hellmouth Sunbeams. The Moist Talkers also received the Foreshadow will with a 36% chance, shadowing Sixpack Dogwalker in exchange for Augusto Reddick. As a result of the Garages' Plunder will, Carmelo Plums was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for York Silk.
17 - Collections	54	54-45	Did not qualify.	The Moist Talkers received the Move will with a 12% chance, moving Carmelo Plums from the lineup to the rotation. The Moist Talkers also received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 1% chance, trading Carmelo Plums for Goobie Ballson of the Chicago Firefighters. The Moist Talkers won the Necklace Supply Run blessing with 6% of the vote, granting all players on the Moist Talkers' active roster with an available item slot a Necklace. The Moist Talkers also won the Handcrafted Necklace Drop blessing, granting Commissioner Vapor a Head Necklace item after dropping their Chunky Bat.
18 - New Editions	42	42-57	Did not qualify.	The Moist Talkers received the Alternate Trust will with a 2% chance, calling in an alternate for Greer Lott, who gained both the  AlternateThis Player is an Alternate... Player is replaced with an alternate reality version, stats are randomized. and  NegativeThis Player is a Negative. Negative players have negative eDensity. modifications. The Moist Talkers also received the Shadow Infuse will with a 22% chance, granting London Simmons a batting stat increase of 3.0 → 4.1 . As a result of the Dale's Equivalent Exchange will, Randy Dennis was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for Richmond Harrison. The Moist Talkers won the Slow Build blessing with 23% of the vote, granting all lineup players the  Slow BuildThis Player will bat 1% better for each subsequent At Bat they have in a game. modification. The Moist Talkers also won the Open Floor Plan blessing with 17% of the vote, granting Gleek Arena the  Open Floor PlanThis Ballpark's Grandiosity is 5% the eDensity of a standard Ballpark. modification.
19 - Undertow	-58	58-41	Did not qualify.	For finishing in the last four teams in the league, the Moist Talkers became a recipient of  Free WillsThe bottom four finishing Teams in the League will receive an extra Will in that Season's Election.. The Moist Talkers received the Alternate Trust will with a 6% chance, calling in an alternate for Amos Melon, who gained both the  Alternate and  Negative modifications. The Moist Talkers also received the Shadow Infuse will with a 31% chance, granting London Simmons a batting stat increase of 4.1 → 5.2 . Finally, the Moist Talkers received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 1% chance, trading Goobie Ballson for Cudi Di Batterino of the Tokyo Lift. The Moist Talkers won the Super Roamin' Fifth Base blessing with 4% of the vote, granting Jesús Koch The Fifth Base after dropping their Necklace. The Moist Talkers also won the Shadow Helmet Supply Run blessing with 21% of the vote, granting all players in the Moist Talkers' shadows with an available item slot a Helmet. Third, the Moist Talkers won the Headliners blessing with 69% of the vote, sorting their lineup by Idolatry. Lastly, the Moist Talkers won the Moderation blessing, granting the team the  Moderation modification. As a result of the Worms winning the Subtractor blessing, Cedric Spliff was given the  SubtractorWhen this Player bats in a Run or Unrun, the polarity of the Run or Unrun will be flipped (Runs become Unruns, Unruns become Runs). modification.
20 - Win(Win)	40	40-59	Underbracket Quarterfinals L 2-3 vs. San Francisco Lovers	The Moist Talkers received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 2% chance, trading Beans McBlase for Greer Lott of the Philly Pies. The Moist Talkers also received the Reform will with a 9% chance, reforming Cedric Spliff's  Subtractor modification into  FlinchHitters with Flinch cannot swing until a strike has been thrown in the At Bat.. As a result of the Spies winning the Fringe Benefit blessing, Commissioner Vapor was sent to the Spies with no replacement.
21 - Red Herring	67	57-42	Wildcard Underbracket Finalists W 4-1 vs. Seattle Garages W 3-2 vs. Kansas City Breath Mints L 0-3 vs. Hellmouth Sunbeams	The Moist Talkers received the Magnify will with an 18% chance, granting Ziwa Mueller the  2xEvery Run that this Player bats in or allows will be multiplied by 2. modification. The Moist Talkers also received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 4% chance, trading Lachlan Shelton for Nicholas Mora of the Hades Tigers. As a result of the Mechanics's Equivalent Exchange will, PolkaDot Patterson was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for Augusto Reddick. As a result of the Lift's Equivalent Exchange will, Freemium Seraph was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for Cudi Di Batterino. The Moist Talkers won the Shadow Evolution blessing with 8% of the vote, Evolving the entirety of the Moist Talkers' shadows to Base 1 . As a result of the Fridays winning the Recruit Ego blessing, Nicholas Mora was sent to the Fridays with no replacement.
22 - Overdue	41	41-58	Wildcard Round L 2-3 vs. Philly Pies	The Moist Talkers received the Move will with a 19% chance, moving Greer Lott from the lineup to the rotation. The Moist Talkers also received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 1% chance, trading Randy Dennis for Slosh Truk of the Atlantis Georgias. As a result of the Lift's Shadow Revoke will, Mags Banananana Roamed to the Moist Talkers' rotation. The Moist Talkers won the Heads over Tails blessing with 0% of the vote, granting Ziwa Mueller the  Negative modification. As a result of the Magic winning the Little Swap blessing, Tiana Wheeler was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for Ziwa Mueller. As a result of the Fridays winning the Subtractor Avoidance blessing, Lucien Patchwork was given the  Subtractor modification. As a result of the Worms winning the Record Scratch blessing, Slosh Truk was given the  SkippingWhen this Player steps up to bat, they'll start with a randomized count. modification. As a result of the Garages winning the Gachapon blessing, Tucker Flores was sent to the Garages' shadows with no replacement. Alejandro Leaf Roamed out of the Hall of Flame to the Moist Talkers' rotation.
23 - A Set Up	61	61-38	ILB Champions W 3-1 vs. New York Millennials W 4-1 vs. Seattle Garages W 3-2 vs. Ohio Worms	During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Slosh Truk, PolkaDot Patterson, Tiana Wheeler, and Eugenia Garbage were all sent to play for the Rising Stars. After the game, all four players fell back to the Moist Talkers, with Truk and Garbage joining the rotation, Patterson rejoining the lineup, and Wheeler reentering the shadows. The Moist Talkers voted to receive the Team Roamless Crate Party Favor, granting the team the  Roamless modification. As a result of the Reader declaring a 'scoring play', the team was granted the  Under Review modification. As a result of claiming their third championship, the Moist Talkers Evolved and gained the  Flood Bath modification. As a result of the Tacos winning the Gachapon blessing, Rosstin Andante was sent to the Tacos' shadows with no replacement. Both Mags Banananana and Alejandro Leaf Roamed away from the team, Roaming to the Tigers and Fridays respectively.
24 - Fire Sale/Save Situation	Did not finish.	Did not finish.	Did not finish.	The Moist Talkers were nullified by Black Hole (Black Hole) on Day 99.

Team Overview

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

For a more in-depth look at the team, see Canada Moist Talkers/History

The Moist Talker's home stadium is Gleek Arena in the sunken city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. Outside of Canada, this team is widely known by their nickname "The Towelettes."

The mouth in the Moist Talkers logo is modeled after Tom DeLonge, noted musician, Canadian, and UFO Researcher.

As a rite of passage for new players, and also to encourage camaraderie with the Charleston Shoe Thieves, new players are taken out shopping to buy several pairs of cool shoes. Players can expect their shoes to first get stolen by Beasley Gloom, and then when they eventually pass onto the Shoe Thieves, they can often find a little bite mark from Gloom. This is considered good luck, and a good omen for coming games.