Beans McBlase

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Beans McBlase is a lineup player for the Canada Moist Talkers and has been with the team since Season 7, Day 33.

Official League Records

McBlase joined the ILB on Season 7, Day 33, after the incineration of Antonio Wallace.

On Season 7, Day 61, McBlase siphoned some of Philly Pies batter Nolanestophia Patterson's defensive ability in a game with Blooddrain weather, bringing it from to .

During the Season 9 election, McBlase became Spicy due to the Seattle Garages winning the Hot Sauce Bar blessing, and gained the Siphon modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Blooddrain decree. Also during the election McBlase's Power and Max Vibes were increased, but their baserunning went down, due to winning the Eat me, Drink me blessing.

During the Coffee Cup, McBlase played for Inter Xpresso as a pitcher. McBlase received the Perk modification after the tournament due to being a member of the winning team.

During the Season 18 elections, McBlase gained the Slow Build modification as a result of the Slow Build blessing.


The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Hailing from the fleet of cruise ships making up the city of Hamilton, Ontario, McBlase is an attorney for the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety. Originally earning her law degree from UVic, she worked for various law firms across several years before being hired by CCOHS.

Beans is her very long cat.

After a series of incinerations struck the Canada Moist Talkers in season 7鈥攊ncluding labour union representative Kiki Familia鈥攖he Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety sent attorneys Beans & McBlase to look into the matter.

The pair arrived at Gleek Arena to discuss the potential for financial compensation with the Moist Talkers. However, due to a series of clerical errors, the "&" was dropped and "Beans McBlase" was drafted into the ILB as a singular player.  Onlookers present reported McBlase as indignant over the proceedings, while Beans was reported as "soft" and "adorable". Attempts to have the error fixed have been ignored by the league wholesale.

With legal recourse stymied, Beans & McBlase have begun to settle into their new lives at Gleek Arena. McBlase has been collecting refunds on falsely advertised waterproof business suits while leaving the actual splort of blaseball up to Beans.

Fan Works