Beans McBlase

From Blaseball Wiki

Beans McBlase is a pitcher for the Mexico City Wild Wings, and has been with the team since Season 22, Day 73. McBlase has played for the Canada Moist Talkers and the Philly Pies.

Official League Records

McBlase joined the ILB on Season 7, Day 33, after the incineration of Antonio Wallace.

On Season 7, Day 61, McBlase siphoned some of Philly Pies batter Nolanestophia Patterson's defensive ability in a game with Blooddrain weather, bringing them from to .

During the Season 9 election, McBlase became Spicy due to the Seattle Garages winning the Hot Sauce Bar blessing, and gained the Siphon modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Blooddrain decree. Also during the election McBlase's Power and Max Vibes were increased, but their baserunning went down, due to winning the Eat me, Drink me blessing.

As part of the verdict of New York Millennials v. Parker MacMillan III, McBlase received a half-star increase to their baserunning, bringing them from to .

During the Coffee Cup, McBlase played for Inter Xpresso as a pitcher. McBlase received the Perk modification after the tournament due to being a member of the winning team.

During the Season 18 elections, McBlase gained the Slow Build modification as a result of the Slow Build blessing.

During the Season 20 elections, McBlase was traded to the Philly Pies in exchange for Greer Lott via the Moist Talkers' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

On Season 21, Day 17, McBlase retreated to the Pies' Shadows in exchange for Lucy Tokkan via Tastycake Stadium's Fax Machine.

On Season 22, Day 36, McBlase joined the Pies' lineup in exchange for Doc Anice at Tastycake Stadium via the Ratified Voicemail. On Day 70, McBlase returned to the Pies' Shadows in exchange for Peanut Holloway due to Voicemail. On Day 73, McBlase was stolen by The Bucket Thieves' Guild at the Basin of Mexico Park via the Ratified Phantom Thieves' Guild. On Day 82, McBlase joined the Wild Wings' pitching rotation in exchange for Uncle Plasma II as a result of the Basin of Mexico Park's Fax Machine.

Over the course of Season 23, McBlase entered and exited the Wild Wings' Shadows two times as a result of Basin of Mexico Park Fax Machine events, ending the Season on the pitching rotation.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Hailing from the fleet of cruise ships making up the city of Hamilton, Ontario, McBlase is an attorney for the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety. Originally earning her law degree from UVic, she worked for various law firms across several years before being hired by CCOHS.

Beans is her very long cat.

After a series of incinerations struck the Canada Moist Talkers in season 7—including labour union representative Kiki Familia—the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety sent attorneys Beans & McBlase to look into the matter.

The pair arrived at Gleek Arena to discuss the potential for financial compensation with the Moist Talkers. However, due to a series of clerical errors, the "&" was dropped and "Beans McBlase" was drafted into the ILB as a singular player.  Onlookers present reported McBlase as indignant over the proceedings, while Beans was reported as "soft" and "adorable". Attempts to have the error fixed have been ignored by the league wholesale.

With legal recourse stymied, Beans & McBlase have begun to settle into their new lives at Gleek Arena. McBlase has been collecting refunds on falsely advertised waterproof business suits while leaving the actual splort of blaseball up to Beans.

Fan Works