Baltimore Crabs/Season 23

🦀 Baltimore Crabs
Season 23
Dates	July 19, 2021 – July 25, 2021
← Previous	Season 22
Next →	Season 24
Results
Overall Record	49-50
Wins	60
Partytime	Day 94
Divine Favor	14
Division	3rd in Mild Low
League	6th in Mild League
ILB Placement	13th overall
Modifiers	CarcinizationWhen this Team activates the Black Hole, they will steal their opponent's best hitter for the remainder of the game.  UnholeyWhen this Team activates the Black Hole, a random Player on their opponent's Team will be impaired by 1%.  0Players with 0 will always swing at strikes while there are 0 Balls and 0 Strikes in the At Bat.
Renovations	Peanut MisterA Peanut Mister will occasionally cure a Player of their peanut allergy. Peanut Misters can also remove the Superallergic modification from players.  PsychoAcousticsIn Feedback or Reverb, PsychoAcoustics will occasionally Echo one of the Away Team's mods to the Home Team, for game-long use.  Secret BaseThe Secret Base is a hidden base beyond 2nd that allows a baserunner to hide between innings.  Flood PumpsFlood Pumps will prevent Flooding weather from making your Ballpark filthier.  Salmon CannonsSalmon Cannons have a chance of expelling pests from your Ballpark. Salmon Cannons can prevent Consumer attacks and send players on the away team Elsewhere.  SmithyThe Smithy will occasionally repair Items for Players playing in this Ballpark.  Event HorizonThe Event Horizon will prevent the first Black Hole activation in each game, converting the Overflow to Unruns for your opponent's next game.  BirdhousesBirdhouses invite Birds to come live in your Ballpark. Every time a foul ball is hit in a ballpark with Birdhouses, a bird will be added to the ballpark, reducing its eDensity.
Light Switch	ON
League Info
Active Rules	Eat The RichAt the end of each Season, the Fans with the top 1% of Coins will have their funds redistributed throughout the 99%.  Party TimeA Team will enter Party Time if receiving 1 Win per remaining game would not land them in the Postseason. In Party Time, they'll receive random Stat Boosts from Partying. See also: Glossary  Wild CardsAt the end of the regular season, 1 Wild Card will be drawn at random from the remaining Teams in each Sub-League to receive a Postseason Birth.  Based EvolutionEvery Third Championship a Team wins will cause the Team and its Players to Evolve. Players that round the phylogenic Bases will get to go Home.  Free WillsThe bottom four finishing Teams in the League will receive an extra Will in that Season's Election.  All You Can EatFans are free to buy and discard Snack Slots in their Snack Pack. The number of Slots they have will determine their Payout Modifier for all Snacks. The less slots, the higher the Payout Modifier.  Community ChestAnytime 3000 Runs are accumulated league-wide, every Team will receive an Item Crate for a random active Player on their Team.  FairgroundsAll games have a chance of being Prize Matches, in which the winning Team will open an Item Crate.  Hype TrainShaming your opponent will build Hype in your Ballpark.  RatificationRenovations built by at least 18 Teams will be Ratified into Non-Physical Law for the entire League.  Hotel MotelThe Hotel Motel will occasionally create Holiday Innings during the Earlseason, where you Party instead of Score.  TurntablesBallpark: Any Win earned from a non-loss in this Ballpark during the Regular Season will be converted to an Unwin. League: Any Win earned from a non-loss during the Regular Season will be converted to an Unwin.  The UnderbracketEvery Postseason, the bottom finishing Teams will compete in the Underbracket while the top finishing Teams compete in the standard Overbracket.  Sun(Sun)All Wins and Unwins earned will be Squared.  TunnelsTunnels allow the Home Team to steal from the Away Team in this Ballpark.  Sun 30When a game enters Extra Innings, both Teams will immediately earn 1 Win.  BalloonsA small, permanent amount of negative eDensity is added for each Run or Win earned in this Ballpark.  Bird HotelWhen the Home Team parties, a number of Birds will come join the Party.  VoicemailWhen the Home Team is shut out in this Ballpark, they'll swap the worst Batter in their Lineup with the best Batter in their Shadows.  Sun .1Weather. Each Run scored is worth .1 more per Inning.  Phantom Thieves' GuildIf the Home Team loses by 9 Runs in this Ballpark, they will steal from their opponent's Shadows.  Equal SunA home run during a game's final out ties the game.  Sum SunWeather. Each successive scoring play by a Team within a half inning is worth an additional Run.  MAXIMUM SUNScoring plays in Maximum Blaseball are worth 3x the Runs.
Roster Changes
Date Change Cause 23 10 - Fairwood Patchwork + Pedro Davids 🦀 Voicemail 23 2400 - Finn James + Axel Campbell 🦀 Fax Machine 23 2401 - Axel Campbell + Finn James 🦀 Fax Machine 23 2402 + Grit Watson 🔥 Thieves Guild (🦀) 23 28 - Alston Cerveza + Axel Campbell 🦀 Voicemail 23 58 - Montgomery Bullock + Alston Cerveza 🦀 Fax Machine 23 77 - Scruffs Sunkcost 🥩 Thieves Guild (🥩) 23 87 - Axel Campbell + Zeruel Kramer 🦀 Voicemail 23 EL - Grit Watson 🌮 Blessing (🌮) Gachapon
Latesiesta
Renovations	+  StablesWhen any Team scores 25+ in this Ballpark, any Instability in the Ballpark will be stabled. The Crabitat's Light Switch is now ON
Gift Shop	Night Vision Sunglasses Drop Kennedy Loser -Parasitic Hearty Shoes +Holey Night Vision Sunglasses of Fourtitude +  Night VisionThis Player will play 50% better in Solar Eclipse weather. +  The Fourth StrikeThose with the Fourth Strike will get an extra strike in each at bat. Squiddish Egg Drop Pedro Davids -Bat +Squiddish Careful Offworld Sharp Egg +  SquiddishWhen a Squiddish player is incinerated, they'll be replaced by a random Hall of Flame player. +  CarefulThis Player's Items will not be damaged by standard game actions. +  OffworldWhen this Player hits a foul ball, it will fly Offworld.
Other Events	Ratification: -  Fax MachineThe Fax Machine will swap the Home Team's pitcher for their best Shadows Pitcher whenever they've allowed 10+ Runs in a game. -  Stables
Tidings
+  Under ReviewThis Team is Under Review...
Party Favors
Team Roamless Crate   +  RoamlessPlayers cannot Roam to this Team.
Blessings
Gachapon   🦀 - Grit Watson, Shadows

The Baltimore Crabs' Season 23 ...

Starting Roster

Lineup	Rotation
Herring Winfield Kennedy Loser Avila Guzman James Mora II Enid Marlow Fairwood Patchwork Silvaire Roadhouse Alston Cerveza Kaz Fiasco	Lorcan Smaht Montgomery Bullock Finn James
Shadows
Axel Campbell Pierre Haley Rosa Holloway Miguel Peterson Robbins Schmitt Alexandria Hess Joyner Rugrat Javier Howe Elijah Glover Thomas Marsh Matheo Tanaka Bevan Underbuck Hercules Lincecum Pedro Davids Squid Galvanic Samothes Thwompson Zeruel Kramer Ilhan Latch Scruffs Sunkcost

Election Outcomes

Party Favors

• Team Roamless Crate passed with 718,394 Votes, 51% of all Decree Votes
  • The Crabs became Roamless.
    • +  Roamless

Season Overview

Down but not Out

The following summary mixes canon events with community lore.
Despite her affinity for theft that was much appreciated by Crabs fans Fariwoods Patchwork struggled with her alternation and within the earlseason had voicemailed out to be replaced by Pedro Davids.

Fellow Shadowed player Axel Campbell also made an appearance as he was called in to pitch when Finn James was faxed out after giving up 10 runs to the Chigaco Firefighters. In his very first pitch of the game, making use of the two runners that Finn left on base, Baby Triumphant hit a 3-run home run, worth a total of 8.7 runs because of their magnification and the Sun .1 weather. This was followed by a triple and a sacrifice fly, prompting Campbell to be faxed in an impressive 3 at bats, and a total of 55 real world seconds, causing him to set a record breaking ERA of 286.2. Axel then shifted to batting and hit an impressive 0.255 for the remainder of the season before being voicemail back out for Zeruel Kramer.

In a unique case of Equals Sun, Montgomery Bullock was the victim of a fax from none other than former Crab Jon Halifax who scored a home run in the final out of a game against the Breath Mints that was worth a record breaking 20.2 runs. This also resulted in the first ever draw for some reason. a floating point error on the back end of the simulation. Rather than go into extra innings as games traditionally had when ending in a draw, the game was called immediately with the Breath Mints as the winner.

With Bullock faxed, fans were surprised to see Alston Cerveza making a surprise return to the field as a pitcher where he proved that he wasn’t ready to retire just yet, throwing a perfect game in his debut with a total of 10 strikeouts in 27 outs, and shutting out the mints five times in the season.

In Silvaire Roadhouse’s triumphant return to batting for the Crabs it signaled both an incredible season for her and her unfortunate debt finally catching up with her. Over the course of the season her unstable outs caused the deaths of Helga Washington, Jon Halifax, Helga Moreno, and Gunther O’Brian.

In other parts of the league, After Finn James’s performance in a particularly interesting flooding game, Polkadot Patterson managed to remain as the Moist Talker’s only batter thanks to her Flippers. After a few innings of this is became hard to call the sport they were playing “blaseball” but they seemed to be having fun at least. The Crabs lost the game 8-2.

Over in Boston Adalberto Tosser and Baldwin Breadwinner were enjoying the new Traitor items from the election, and spent most of the season trading items around with other members of the team and each other, both notably making a grab for the Legendary Super Roaming Fifth Base several times. In the postseason, it was also the secord championship victory for Jacoby Podcast as the Moist Talkers took their Third championship and evolved.

Election

In the scheduled Semi-centennial (as was predicted by many fans) the Force Field was stolen from Parker Macmillan, and the sun went supernova. What came to a surprise is that notable former Crab Tillman Henderson avoided a second round of necromancy through the Rising Stars by accepting a deal made by the Vault Legends, and changing sides, making him one of two original Crabs remaining in the Vault. (Sorry about that Val).

In the Election the Crabs collected their party favour - the anti-roam crate, in an attempt to prevent their imminent demise in season 24 thanks to Parker Macmillan’s Firewalker and Super Roaming modifications.