Yurts Trunbo

Yurts Trunbo is the groundskeeper of the Crabitat, the ballpark of the Baltimore Crabs.

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The Groundskeeper

Yurts lives in a back room of The Crabitat alongside his uncountable herd of pet pea crabs. Every morning he takes his crabs on a walk during which they repair any damage and restore the stadium to the standard that fans have come to expect. The Pea crabs carefully cut each blade of grass one at a time in the stadium how Yurts Trunbo likes it, sometimes they make zen garden designs in the grass to enhance the experience for fans and players alike.

Yurts's name is itself a sentient entity, coincidentally also named Yurts Trunbo (i.e. Yurts Trunbo's name's name is also Yurts Trunbo). This initially created some awkwardness for the groundskeeper Yurts, whose expression of identity had formed its own nested unique identity, but it seems Yurts and his identity have formed an amicable relationship as of Season 6. Yurtses' nature often leads to those who learn the groundskeeper's name to babble "Yurts Trunbo" in various unrelated contexts as they attempt to converse with the abstract being that is Yurts Trunbo's name.

Yurts Trunbo's name's name is named Phillip.

Appearance

There are several conflicting reports of Trunbo’s appearance, so rather then try to discern which is correct, we have gathered them here for you to come to that conclusion yourself:

• Yurts Trunbo is actually just an extension of the colony of pea crabs, and hides this using the old “30 crabs in a trenchcoat” trick.
• Yurts Trunbo is a moderately large spider crab, who uses their many long limbs to hold the leashes of many, much smaller, pea crabs.
• Yurts Trunbo is an elderly Finnish man with a very large beard who is inexplicably extremely good at communicating with pea crabs.

Assistants

The Crabitat is a large and unruly stadium, and as such Yurts does not go about his tasks alone. There are several well known figures within the stadium that also participate in it’s daily maintenance.

The Pea Crabs

Yurts’ pet pea crabs are actually a fairly advanced, if very small, colony of pea crabs that have built a small underground city called "Crabville" under the stadium. They have been known to communication both with themselves, and with outsiders though complicated and intricate dances with their pincers, though with their tiny pincers and somewhat scattered movements, they are mostly described as “clumsy and adorable”

Reportedly, despite their tiny cute exterior, the pea crabs have a complex society with what is described as “super intense interpersonal drama”. If asked, Yurts will happily explain whatever the latest gossip is amongst the pea crabs, and is Baltimore’s go-to expert on the subject. Before their transfer, Crabs player Parker Parra was known to spend hours with Yurts discussing the subject over tea.

Another Assistant

Recently Yurts has gained a new assistant groundskeeper, but unfortunately no one has been able to see or track down this mysterious assistant. This assistant joined the Crabitat some time after the second Wyatt Masoning, and notably Baltimore was the only stadium to not attune their own Wyatt Mason despite having PsychoAcoustics installed, so there has been some speculation that this assistant may be wow hey slow down there. You’re jumping to some pretty wild conclusions. Maybe skip this bit yeah? Some people have seen which way the wind is blowing and maybe don’t want to be involved in your bloodsplort, thanks. This is of course wildly unfounded.

Memorials

In addition to maintaining the grounds of the Crabitat, Yurts has another less discussed role on the Crabs support staff. On a partially submerged section of the stands there is a very old and very large oyster that lives there year round, since it is very difficult and somewhat impractical to vacate your seat when you are a very old and very large oyster.

This oyster is also able to take the remains of incinerated players and use them to create several small pearls that can be carried as a keepsake. The pearls are completely immune to incineration due to their nature and often a way to mourn and honour someone to take on a pearl that they held onto because of someone they missed. This is considered to be a privilege reserved for players and staff, however a beloved member of the community may also be accepted to be memorialized in such a way.

As for who actually receives such pearls, Yurts acts as the keeper of both the Oyster itself, and of the process of making or requesting pearls. While any incinerated player, or former player, for the Crabs will have at least a portion of their ashes used in such a way, there are very few people who will receive a pearl to commemorate their fallen comrade. While it is not public knowledge who has pearls from each player, it is thought that:

Nora Perez

Nora Perez’s pearls were distributed to Combs Duende, Forrest Best, and Kennedy Loser.

• Tillman Henderson requested one, but was turned down.
  • Upon Combs’ incineration, Nora’s pearl was actually passed on to Tillman.

Combs Duende

Combs Duende’s pearls were distributed to Kennedy Loser, Sutton Dreamy, Valentine Games, Forrest Best, Mickey Woods, and Beck Whitney.

• Tillman Henderson requested one, but was turned down.
• Sutton Dreamy received many of Combs’ pearls to use in a commemorative mosaic that she completed in Combs’ honour.

Tillman Henderson

Tillman Henderson’s pearls were distributed to Kennedy Loser, Adalberto Tosser, Forrest Best, and Declan Suzanne.

• Upon his return, Tillman Henderson requested one of his own pearls, but was turned down.

Chorby Soul

Chorby Soul's pearls were distributed to Thomas Dracaena, Theodore Cervantes, Patty Fox, Fynn Doyle, Schneider Bendie, Andrew Solis, Oliver Loofah, and Kennedy Loser.

• In an unusual turn of events, Soul themselves asked if one of the pearls could be preserved in case they returned. Yurts agreed to this request.
  • Upon their revival as a replica, Yurts passed on the pearl as requested, though Chorby Soul III did not remember the agreement.
    • Upon Chorby Soul III’s death their pearls were distributed to Yurts Trunbo and his assistant.

Luis Acevedo

Luis Acevedo's pearls were distributed to Tot Clark, Oliver Notarobot, Loubert Ji-Eun, Xandra Pancakes, Beck Whitney, Rivers Rosa, Sutton Dreamy, Evelton McBlase II, Edric Tosser, Alaynabella Hollywood and Kennedy Loser.

• Allegedly, the first time that Acevedo haunted Loser they did something with his pearl and Acevedo has refused to tell anyone where it is.

Hewitt Best

Though Hewitt Best was only on the team for a short time due to the team’s Carcinization effect, Yurts still made the offer to preserve his remains with the highest honours. The Kansas City Breath Mints accepted this offer, and Best’s pearls were distributed to their entire roster, past and present, as well as having one sent to his old rival on the Crabs, Forrest Best.

• Upon expressing surprise at the number of pearls to be distributed, the Breath Mints confirmed that, “that was just the kind of guy Hew was” and Yurts was happy to comply.

Logan Horseman

Despite Logan Horseman playing only a single season with the Crabs, the team was quick to reach out to the Miami Dale to make the offer, and Logan’s pearls were distributed to Dunlap Figueroa, Adalberto Tosser, Kennedy Loser, and Jacoby Podcast, with the pearls designated for the Dale being instead used to encrust a pair of shutter shades with and mount them on the wall behind the boat's DJ booth, “so he can always watch over the party”.

• Upon the request of Qais Dogwalker and Riley Firewall a single pearl was also sent to the headquarters of each existing chapter of the Party Animals, with some being reserved for future chapters.

Valentine Games

While Valentine Games was never incinerated, their partner Pedro Davids approached Yurts about having a pearl made for him to keep after Games became Legendary. Since both of them were original members of the Baltimore Crabs, Yurts agreed and was able to make a single pearl for Davids.

• The ashes used for this pearl were said to be made from the letters that the two had exchanged, and it remains the only pearl that was not made in a set due to the unusual circumstances.

Brock Forbes

The pearls of Brock Forbes were distributed to Adalberto Tosser, Kennedy Loser, Pedro Davids, Finn James, Parker Parra, Sutton Dreamy, Silvaire Roadhouse, Tot Fox, Baldwin Breadwinner, Jacoby Podcast, and Cory Twelve.

• The pearl gifted to Cory Twelve was passed on by former teammate Silvaire Roadhouse, who also did an etching of a rose on the surface of the pearl. Twelve will take any opportunity to show it off proudly to teammates and friends.
• Trunbo reportedly reserved an additional pearl for the Olde One.

Other Memorials

Yurts allegedly has one of every pearl that has been made, including one from the Olde One herself that is occasionally used by the Clawricle to look into the future.