Miami Dale/History

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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

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The Miami Dale are based in the City of Miami in an unspecified state. They are known for their party culture and expressing that they play "for the love of the game" whenever someone brings up their performance or record.

The Dale are natural partiers who appear to celebrate everything from winning to losing to slightly impressive jet ski tricks to seeing a dog on the way to practice. It is believed that these skills originate from the vast geological formation under the city known as The Party Rock.

Reflected Incinerations

Season 8 heralded the first time any fireproof player reflected an incineration attempt by an umpire. Umpire Husky's attempt to incinerate Beck Whitney backfired spectacularly thanks to Raúl Leal receiving the Iffey Jr. and Fireproofing the entire team at the conclusion of Season 7. Since then the team and its fanbase have leaned into flexing their un-killable party spirit by seeking out further incinerations via blessings. Miami Gerald reported about the first incident in the following article.

• An Umpire Pays the Ultimate Price for Going Rogue To the gruesome delight of many of its fans, Blaseball was turned on its head during Season 8's game day 94. It was Game 1 of the Baltimore Crabs and Miami Dale's series, and like many of blaseball's most hotly anticipated game days it occurred during eclipse weather, however, the danger of incineration to players on the field was turned instead onto the rogue umpires themselves. The unthinkable occurred thanks to an oddity of an item gifted to Raul Leal of the Dale. At the beginning of season 8 Raul had been inexplicably using a sawed off bat with the inscription "Iffey Jr" at all his at bats. When asked about the peculiar bat and its clear disadvantages to any hitter, he said with a wink, "I promise this bat will change the destiny of the team for the better when you really see it in action". Fans finally got an eye full of that action on day 94, and blaseball nation has had an earful of rumours abound from fans who witnessed the death of rogue umpire Husky whose incinerating blast was deflected in the outfield by the Iffey Jr. Testimonials of fans trying to explain how the umpire was stopped ranged drastically. A familiar flash of light and heat smoke blew back from the umpire into the stands but some fans say they could still see it all unfold. One such witness offered, "Yeah, the Ump was staring down Beck, but the blast he let loose swung right into the Iffey like a magnet instead of hitting Beck! The bat started to glow then he just chucked it like a glowing boomerang right into the umpire's head. Whitney turned into a whole cloud of bats and rematerialized next to Husky before really letting 'em have it. When she was done she raised up the umpire's mask triumphantly. She seemed to glow with new power". When Beck was asked to comment she said, "I'm no stranger to what happens when the umpires go rogue, so I was anxious to have a plan when Raul told the team that the Iffey would give us a way to strike back but no one knew what would happen, really. When the incineration occurred, I remember feeling a white hot sensation at my back, and then an inexplicable powerful rage boiling up inside me. I turned around and saw the Umpire's eyes smoldering and knew the Iffey had worked. Raul was there holding this energy in front of me, and suddenly I had a bat in my hand! I can't explain exactly how, but this wasn't my usual bat. This one was a gift from Cali that just.. changed in that moment. It took on a life of its own and hasn't been the same since. I took the opportunity to get revenge with it by hitting that ball of energy right into the umpire. It was all such a rush. I haven't felt this strong since my days with The Flowers" Shortly after the game Beck also tweeted out a warning to the gods themselves, “Commissioner, gods, if you're reading this...i'm gay and stronger than all of you, so don't try anything else funny” Other accounts claimed the Iffey worked more like a powerful wand. Some said the Iffey turned into a flaming sword that Raul used to cut down Husky, turning the umpire into little more than a smoldering pile of limbs. Whatever the particulars may be, one thing is sure. The fanbase has experienced a catharsis that has only left them wanting more.

Linguistic History

Up until Season 6, the Dale were known as the Miami Dalé, but the accent was removed before Season 7 due to concerns about the misrepresentation of Spanish words and the inaccuracy of the implied pronunciation. Officially, the accent was placed there to "suggest something wrong about the world of blaseball;" indeed, while Blaseball.com showed the team name as the Dalé up until the change, the official Discord channel showed it as Dalé, Dałe, Dále, and Dálé at various times.

• MiamiBlaseball [@MiamiBlaseball] (2 Oct 2020). "It was spelled that way on the website and the official dev correspondence I have received said it was there to 'suggest something wrong about the world of blaseball' " (Tweet) - via Twitter.

Dale press release created by Sav.

While the removal of what is sometimes known as the "chaos accent" was broadly popular among both Dale fans and the blaseball community in general, one unforeseen consequence seems to be confusion over the pronunciation of the team's name. A controversy involving popular blaseball news account Blaseball News Network brought this misconception to a head with the release of their historical summary video "Blaseball: The First Eight Seasons," in which the Dale's name was pronounced incorrectly. In response to this and the seemingly widespread lack of clarity regarding the name, the Dale published a press release on Twitter and Discord the next morning that explained the correct pronunciation, history, and meaning of "dale."

• BLASEBALL NEWS NETWORK [@BlaseballNews] (1 Oct 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.
• MiamiBlaseball [@MiamiBlaseball] (2 Oct 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.

Ownership

Rather than being the property of an individual or corporate entity, they are instead owned jointly by their ███████████ shareholders. Shares may be purchased via any currency, through bartering, or by saying ¡Dale! No individual consciousness may own more than 4.20% of the total shares. All shareholders receive are voting rights for what pizza we order at 2 a.m., an invitation to the annual Board of Governors Party, and an opportunity to purchase exclusive shareholder-only merchandise such as limited edition koozies designed by former Artist in Residence Farrell Seagull.

Sponsorship

The unofficial partner of the Miami Dale is Kent's Video Swamp. The Dale's support is estimated to have increased Kent's Video Swamp's customer base by 700% (from one customer to eight). While they have not yet garnered the coveted Official KVS Sponsorship, multiple sources within the team report that they expect it to be made official any day now.

Beverage Culture

A popular pre-game ritual before Dale games is to do communal shots of Cuban coffee. This controversial act has been deemed rule-breaking by many fans; however, the Umpires have gone on record that the practice is defensible as it's "pretty rad" and plausibly leads to decreased performance.

Dale players are known for drinking Blaja Blast or other flavors of Mlountain Dew as a refreshing and energizing splorts beverage during games, either plain or mixed with tequila. This embrace of Mlountain Dew came from team members not wanting to associate themselves with Glatorade, which they consider a Gainesville drink. Lineup player Hahn Fox is known for her endorsement deal with Diet Mlountain Dew.

As a consequence of the rampant caffeine culture during and outside of games, the Dale have been recognized by Miami-Dade County mayor Carlos Gimenez for greatly increasing the number of small businesses founded in the Miami area by members of la familia overcome with great ideas after their 6th 4Loko or so.

However, this culture is anything but monolithic. Notably, lineup player Randy Dennis does not consume caffeine. "I have no eyelids, so it's already annoying trying to sleep in what little off time I have," said Dennis in a XX19 interview with local newspaper personality Miami Gerald. "Plus, I only have grinding teeth, not biting teeth, so I avoid anything that might make me anxious. Except blaseball."

Regarding teamwide acceptance of individual choices, Raúl Leal said during a XX20 combination press conference/afterparty that "there is intense peer pressure within the team to respect our peers' autonomy and judgment. Pressuring someone would be such a party foul. Can you excuse me? I think the beat is about to drop."

Music Culture

Dale fans and players alike are commonly found listening to the works of Pitblull. Players are currently required by management to choose a song by Pitblull as their walk-on music. Pitblull is not known to be a sponsor of the team, leading to speculation about potential "insider trading" [editor's note: this is not what insider trading means].

To motivate the team, Mr. Wide has provided the team with The Playlist, an incredible mix of music that the players listen to on full blast before every game to hype them up. The composition of The Playlist is a closely-held secret--while some fans of the Dale have been provided a diluted version, the True Playlist has never been disclosed. It is known to have powerful enhancement powers; unfortunately, those enhancements do not always translate into increased skill at blaseball. Any player leaving the Dale (such as via a trade or blessing) must be locked in a small room and forced to listen to easy listening music until knowledge of The Playlist fades from their mind.

The Elder League

The Dale currently do not have an Underleague team; however, Miami has a thriving Elder League with a number of teams whose players are age 65 or older. The Elder League is believed to have been founded in retaliation against child star Scooter "Skeeter" Buckley. Buckley, locally famous for his portrayal of Skeeter the Skeeter in the long-running commercial series for OUCH! Mosquito Spray, was invited to throw the first pitch of the 20XX season. By all accounts the youth did a great job, and Dale management approached him with an offer to join the team. Buckley declined, stating that he intended to pursue acting at Juulliard. The Dale took extreme offense to the snub and immediately organized and funded the Elder League.

Players were originally recruited from local assisted living facilities, Jimmy Bluffet concerts, and matinee movies. However, the popularity and exclusivity of the league grew extremely quickly, and it is now more than self-sustaining. The League is more active in the winter due to players temporarily relocating to Miami from colder regions. In addition to blaseball, the Elder Leagues host exclusive late-night bingo games (4 p.m.) and viciously competitive cribbage tournaments.

The Dale reportedly scout potential players from the Elder League, with some sources saying that Mr. Wide believes AARP membership is "one of the most desirable traits in a blaseball player." There is no maximum age for the league; currently, the oldest player is Dorothy Walters of Coral Gables at 2.47 billion years young.