Danny Marinara

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Danny Marinara is a hitting coach for the Miami Dale. Marinara is believed to be one of the best hitting coaches in the league. However, his talents have not transferred to the Dale, in part because he is frequently absent due to numerous breakfast meetings, lunch meetings, and needing to "take care of a thing" for Mr. Wide.

Marinara's coaching style primarily comes in the form of describing, in minute detail, the time he hit the winning home run in game three of the 196X Brooklyn Trees semifinal playoff series. (The Trees went on to lose that series, one game to three). Any player who actually listens to the entire story has been shown to statistically increase their hitting skill. Sadly, few players on the Dale, if any, have the attention span to sit through the whole thing, and certainly never twice.

Marinara also dispenses such timeless aphorisms as "hit with the hips, not with the hands," "keep your eye on the ball, kid," and "well, it's only a game," usually before rushing off to his next "meeting."


Interviews state that Marinara was Mr. Wide's little league coach, and that his kindness toward the kids on his team, who he always took out for ice cream win or lose, garnered him his current coaching position.

There are indeed records of a "Danny Marinara" who played for the Brooklyn Trees between 196X and 197X. If Marinara is actually that same player, according to his Brooklyn Trees trading card, he was born in 194X and would currenly be 76 years old. Despite this, Marinara appears to be in his late 30's to early 40's. When asked his age by one reporter, Marinara responded "Still young enough, you know what I'm sayin'?" Sources have noted that Marinara does not appear to age, his hair is never longer or shorter, and he always wears the same clothes. For these reasons, some have theorized that Marinara is only Mr. Wide's memory of a beloved childhood coach, which has somehow gained sentience.


Marinara has never addressed anyone other than Mr. Wide by name, instead using nicknames such as "kid," "chief," "cap," "bucko," or "sport."