Miami Dale/History

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Dalé are natural partiers who appear to celebrate everything from winning to losing to slightly impressive jet ski tricks to seeing a dog on the way to practice.

Ownership

Rather than being the property of an individual or corporate entity, they are instead owned jointly by their ███████████ shareholders. Shares may be purchased via any currency, through bartering, or by saying ¡Dalé! No individual consciousness may own more than 4.20% of the total shares. All shareholders receive are voting rights for what pizza we order at 2 a.m., an invitation to the annual Board of Governors Party, and an opportunity to purchase exclusive shareholder-only merchandise like limited edition koozies designed by Artist in Residence Farrell Seagull.

Sponsorship

The unofficial partner of the Miami Dalé is Kent's Video Swamp. The Dalé's support is estimated to have increased Kent's Video Swamp's customer base by 700% (from one customer to eight). While they have not yet garnered the coveted Official KVS Sponsorship, multiple sources within the team report that they expect it to be made official any day now.

Beverage Culture

A popular pre-game ritual before Dalé games is to do communal shots of Cuban coffee. This controversial act has been deemed rule-breaking by many fans; however, the Umpires have gone on record that the practice is defensible as it's "pretty rad" and plausibly leads to decreased performance.

Dalé players are known for drinking Blaja Blast or other flavors of Mlountain Dew as a refreshing and energizing splorts beverage during games, either plain or mixed with tequila. This embrace of Mlountain Dew came from team members not wanting to associate themselves with Glatorade, which they consider a Gainesville drink. Lineup player Hahn Fox is known for her endorsement deal with Diet Mlountain Dew.

As a consequence of the rampant caffeine culture during and outside of games, the Dalé have been recognized by Miami-Dade County mayor Carlos Gimenez for greatly increasing the number of small businesses founded in the Miami area by members of la familia overcome with great ideas after their 6th 4Loko or so.

However, this culture is anything but monolithic. Notably, lineup player Randy Dennis does not consume caffeine. "I have no eyelids, so it's already annoying trying to sleep in what little off time I have," said Dennis in a XX19 interview with local newspaper personality Miami Gerald. "Plus, I only have grinding teeth, not biting teeth, so I avoid anything that might make me anxious. Except blaseball."

Regarding teamwide acceptance of individual choices, Raúl Leal said during a XX20 combination press conference/afterparty that "there is intense peer pressure within the team to respect our peers' autonomy and judgment. Pressuring someone would be such a party foul. Can you excuse me? I think the beat is about to drop."

Music Culture

Dalé fans and players alike are commonly found listening to the works of Pitblull. Players are currently required by management to choose a song by Pitblull as their walk-on music. Pitblull is not known to be a sponsor of the team, leading to speculation about potential "insider trading" [editor's note: this is not what insider trading means].

To motivate the team, Mr. Wide has provided the team with The Playlist, an incredible mix of music that the players listen to on full blast before every game to hype them up. The composition of The Playlist is a closely-held secret--while some fans of the Dalé have been provided a diluted version, the True Playlist has never been disclosed. It is known to have powerful enhancement powers; unfortunately, those enhancements do not always translate into increased skill at blaseball. Any player leaving the Dalé (such as via a trade or blessing) must be locked in a small room and forced to listen to easy listening music until knowledge of The Playlist fades from their mind.

The Elder League

The Dalé currently do not have an Underleague team; however, Miami has a thriving Elder League with a number of teams whose players are age 65 or older. The Elder League is believed to have been founded in retaliation against child star Scooter "Skeeter" Buckley. Buckley, locally famous for his portrayal of Skeeter the Skeeter in the long-running commercial series for OUCH! Mosquito Spray, was invited to throw the first pitch of the 20XX season. By all accounts the youth did a great job, and Dalé management approached him with an offer to join the team. Buckley declined, stating that he intended to pursue acting at Juulliard. The Dalé took extreme offense to the snub and immediately organized and funded the Elder League.

Players were originally recruited from local assisted living facilities, Jimmy Bluffet concerts, and matinee movies. However, the popularity and exclusivity of the league grew extremely quickly, and it is now more than self-sustaining. The League is more active in the winter due to players temporarily relocating to Miami from colder regions. In addition to blaseball, the Elder Leagues host exclusive late-night bingo games (4 p.m.) and viciously competitive cribbage tournaments.

The Dalé reportedly scout potential players from the Elder League, with some sources saying that Mr. Wide believes AARP membership is "one of the most desirable traits in a blaseball player." There is no maximum age for the league; currently, the oldest player is Dorothy Walters of Coral Gables at 2.47 billion years young.

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