The Baristas

From Blaseball Wiki

For the coffee-worshipping Order within community lore, see Order of the Baristas.

The Baristas are mysterious entities presumed to reside in the Vault. They are believed to be the ones behind the player Redactions that occurred starting in Season 13.

Liquid Friend

The first known explicit mention of the Baristas occurred in a group of redacted messages added to the Feed of Liquid Friend after they and Uncle Plasma were returned to the Vault by the Coin in Season 20's Election. These were later unredacted by Fans via Upfishing over the course of Season 23. A selection of the events from Friend's Feed are as follows:

  • Liquid Friend was returned to the Vault.
  • Liquid Friend was Unscrambled.[1]
    •  Scrambled ->  Hard Boiled
  • Liquid Friend was Taken.
  • Liquid Friend's Soul was Decocted by the Baristas.
  • Liquid Friend's Soul was Placed on the Bar.
  • Liquid Friend's Soul was Served.
  • Liquid Friend and Uncle Plasma are stronger together.
    • +  Yolked

This coincided with Friend gaining 24 Soul (taking them from 7 to 31) – though notably Uncle Plasma, who was also returned to the Vault but not Taken by the Baristas, simultaneously had their Soul reduced from 63 to 31. The fact that both players became Yolked indicates that both were still located in the Vault, even after Friend was Taken, as the Mod only activates when both players are in the same Location.

The Blaseball Beat

In the issue of The Blaseball Beat following the unredaction of Friend's Feed events, the Season 23 issue, a section discussing the events was included:

FISHIN' THE PERCOLATOR
Amatuer sleuths found something fishy in the Feed of Hardboiled Legend Liquid Friend. Unredacted Events seem to suggest that mysterious entities known as the Baristas may actually be the ones behind recent Player Disappearances. Liquid’s soul appears to have been Percolated and served on the Bar to as-yet-to-be-revealed patrons, all before the Scrambled investigator was pumped full of Stars and put back into play, in some sort of catch and release. But who are the Baristas? How long have they been taking our Players? Are they still here, lurking just out of sight?

This contains multiple claims that do not line up with the established series of events, presumed to be mistakes on the part of the Beat writer:

  • Friend's Soul was Decocted, not Percolated as this claims.
  • Friend being "Scrambled [...], pumped full of Stars, and put back into play" seemingly refers to Friend's Redaction and Attraction between Seasons 15 and 16, which is a separate event from the Season 20 events being discussed – the two appear to have been confused by the writer. Because of this confusion, it is unclear whether the claim that Baristas are behind the Redactions can be confirmed to be true, or is based upon that misunderstanding.

Gallery

Fan Works


  1. Friend had previously had their Hard Boiled modification replaced with a Scrambled modification, at some point between being Redacted in Season 15 and reappearing as an Attractor in Season 16.