Bloodhouse
The Bloodhouse is like a clubhouse, but with more blood. So, so much more blood.
Access to the Bloodhouse is permitted to those who commit a monthly sacrifice through the official Blaseball Patreon account.
About
Entry to the Bloodhouse includes this informational brief, written by The Commissioner Prime Minister Parker MacMillan III. This text is periodically updated.
"About Blaseball" (Aug 2020) [1]
May I Have Your Attention Please. This is Commissioner Prime Minister Parker MacMillan III speaking. You are now experiencing the Patreon of the Cultural Event known as Internet League #Blaseball.
Our patron tiers start at $3.33, which gets you access to the Bloodhouse, a Discord Clubhouse where everybody talks about blood. The second tier is $6.66, which also gets you into the Bloodhouse, but with a cooler number.
More tiers, goals and special rewards are coming very soon, so be sure to watch this space.
Any help is appreciated, and all donations go toward making Blaseball sustainable and maintaining our independence. The Front Office has been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support we’ve received in recent weeks. As you can see, we’ve almost reached our first goal of $5k. I’m not sure what happens if we hit it.
Like I said before, I want to thank The Game Band for this unpaid internship. Exposure really is worth more than money. I almost have 10k followers on twitter now.
Anyway, I hope you've had a restful Siesta and are ready for more exciting #blaseball action.
Thank you again for everything. We are all love blaseball.
Sincerely,
Parker MacMillan III
Internet League #Blaseball Commissioner Prime Minister
PS Fall Guys just said they have a million twitter followers. that's fine.
"About Blaseball" (Sep 2020) [2]
May I Have Your Attention Please. This is Commissioner Prime Minister Parker MacMillan III speaking. You are now experiencing the Patreon of the Cultural Event known as Internet League #Blaseball.
Our patron tiers start at $3.33, which gets you access to the Bloodhouse, a Discord Clubhouse where everybody talks about blood. The second tier is $6.66, which also gets you into the Bloodhouse, but with a cooler number. The third tier is $9.99, which gets you into the Bloodhouse and gives you the chance to help name an Egg.
The Blaseball Farm System is a field of Eggs.
More tiers, goals and special rewards are coming very soon, so be sure to watch this space.
Any help is appreciated, and all donations go toward making Blaseball sustainable and maintaining our independence. The Front Office has been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support we’ve received in recent weeks. As you can see below, we already reached our first goal, at which point the fans found the legendary 5-Blood Blagonball.
We're close to reaching our second goal, at which point we plan to break ground on construction of The Hall. When we reach our third goal, the league will Expand.
Like I said before, I want to thank The Game Band for this unpaid internship. Exposure really is worth more than money. Follow me on twitter. I have a blue check now, which means my posts have been verified as true.
Anyway, I hope you've had a restful Siesta and are ready for more exciting #blaseball action.
Thank you again for everything. We are all love blaseball.
Sincerely,
Parker MacMillan III Internet League #Blaseball Commissioner Prime Minister
Stretch Goals
When the Bloodhouse receives more sacrifices[3] that meet particular numeric goals, this results in "stuff happening."
$5,000
The $5,000 goal was described as: "something will happen."
On August 22, 2020, shortly before the start of Season β4, this goal was achieved. It revealed the legendary 5-Blood Blagonball, thereby introducing blagonballs to Blaseball.
$10,000
The $10,000 goal was previously described as: "something else." On September 10 2020, it was updated to: "Break ground on construction of The Hall."
On September 17, 2020, this goal was achieved. Shortly after, the goal description was changed to:
IN THE TRENCH
THE MONITOR WAKES
A NAME IS MISSING
The Hall of Flame was formally opened after The Monitor's appearance during the Season 7 Election Results, allowing fans to pay tribute to incinerated players.
$15,000
The $15,000 goal is currently described as: "Expansion Teams." With the beginning of the Expansion Era, this goal has been removed and implemented.
Naming New Players
See the main article on this topic: Field of Eggs
Starting on September 7, 2020, patrons of the Bloodhouse who pledge at least $9.99 are given the opportunity to submit one word each month that may be randomly selected whenever a new Blaseball player enters the league.
Each Month, patrons are invited to submit one word to be added to the Naming Pool, the platonic body that Irrigates the Field of Eggs. Whenever a new Egg is found, the Generator selects a Forename and Surname at random. You now have a chance to help us name the new Rookies! [2]
Culture
The Bloodhouse is full of blood. Due to its exclusivity, many new Blaseball participants ask what is discussed in the Bloodhouse. The answer is that everyone talks about blood all the time.
Umpire Chaff and Umpire Sunman are seen in the Bloodhouse relatively frequently compared to their official appearances. The Umpires are known to answer questions or talk about blood among the guests. When asked to explain the origins of the Bloodhouse, Sunman simply said: "HOUSE FULL OF BLOOD."[4] Umpire Sunman will also regularly engage guests by chiming into conversations with, "WE TALKING ABOUT BLOOD?" and encouraging guests to discuss their Blood Type with the catchphrase "BLOOD TYPE SOUND OFF".[5]
Incidents
Historically, ████████████ blood in the Bloodhouse, but █████████████ bloody ███████████ and ████████████ blood proved ████████████ leading to ████████████ blood and is difficult, especially ██████████████ of ██████████████████ blood in the carpet/ceiling. As a result, The Commissioner worked overtime hours that day.
- ↑ The Commissioner (Aug 2020). "Blaseball is creating an absurdist, player-driven, online baseball league." Patreon. Retrieved 30 Aug 2020.
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 The Commissioner (Sep 2020). "Blaseball is creating an absurdist, player-driven, online baseball league." Patreon. Retrieved 17 Sep 2020.
- ↑ Patreon subscriptions
- ↑ Umpire Sunman [ump_sunman] (29 Jul 2020). (Message) - via #bloodhouse, Blaseball Discord.
- ↑ Umpire Sunman [ump_sunman] (4 Aug 2020). (Message) - via #bloodhouse, Blaseball Discord.
