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Lōotcrates is the Official Historian of Internet League Blaseball. They first appeared before the Season β15 Elections.

Similar to the Microphone, Lōotcrates will sometimes send messages via Twitter (@ILBLōotcrates). Lōotcrates will also echo messages that receive one thousand upshells in the Feed, sending them out via Twitter.

Visual Appearance

Lōotcrates, when shown in game, takes on the appearance of a stack of crates, with a sparkling background - Likely glitter weather - behind them. Sometimes Lōotcrates has the gate or an image of the gate on one of their crates. Each crate has a black triangle on each of its sides, likely a 'this way down' arrow meant to indicate what way the box should be oriented.


Lōotcrates speaks in cryptic phrases that resemble poetry or riddles, displayed in italicized grey text in quotation marks. However, their words often turn out to be meant literally.

Lōotcrates is dedicated to Preservation, and typically seeks to 'preserve' players, teams, or items by vaulting them.

Lōotcrates often introduces terms completely unfamiliar to fans or other beings, such as 'the delta', 'tributaries', and 'accretion'. Many of these terms deal with rivers or cosmic phenomenon such as stars and black holes. The usage of such terminology is especially common in Lōotcrates library commentary.

'They told me to read this... also.. "nucleosynthesis". no idea what that means' - The Monitor, reading a MVP speech presumably written by Lōotcrates


Lōotcrates mainly acts as an impartial figure, generally staying out of other gods conflicts, though they will often nudge things to try to achieve an outcome they see as preferable.

Though Coin often praised Lōotcrates, Lōotcrates sometimes would speak veiled complaints about her management, and other times seemingly undermining her plans (such as distributing the detective and Chorby Soul replicas to the Gift Shop)

' Upstream, Banks are trawled.
Names Remembered.
legends Crafted.
In the name of Fairness, The Current Dammed, Mistakes Repeated.
Awaiting horizon.

- Lōotcrates, in their first message after the unredaction of Parker MacMillan, noting the fans un-censorship of the library and seemingly deriding the Coins management decisions

'Classified information has been Leaked.
All due to another disappointing oversight By Our Gift Shop Manager.
Security Clearances were bypassed.
Our Historian's generosity was violated.
These Leaks must stop at once.'
- The Coin, speaking against the un-redaction of library entries and blaming the Monitor

Lōotcrates is the first character to mention Namerifeht, via the writing of the library entries.

Lōotcrates seems to have a contentious relationship with The Reader, having a number of small squabbles with them.

'The reader interjects.
Projects upon the text.
fishes from neighboring streams.
Flailing against the current.
At the delta, the historian collects the sea

- Lōotcrates, in response to the readers season 17 reading which gave the uncertain necklace of entanglement and force field of observation. Right after these words, the reader cut off this speech with a 'Materia Materia' message.

Amid rising tides, a curious read.
Undertow tugs against the current.
Sunken costs.

- Lōotcrates, seemingly in response to the growing conflict between reader and coin over Edensity

'The historian calls safe
an open vault
advances runners escaping horizon

flag on the play.

- a late season 24 argument between Lōotcrates and Reader on if teams should flee to the vault or not.

History of Appearances

Season 15 Elections

Lōotcrates first appeared preceding the Season β15 Election Results, offering cryptic messages.

"From the Vault
Gifts forged in Stars.
Tools of the New Age."

"The Enquiry begins again."

"Memories flood.
Overtake the Bridge
Erode the Pillars."

"A witness wades."

"Witnesses shape the Current
Carrying sediment
Etching Names in keepsakes."

"Crafting Legends."

Season 16 Endseason

Lōotcrates appeared following Season β16, Day 99 to introduce the season's MVPs:

"As pressure builds
Names surface
Accolades collect en masse."
"York Silk"
"Aldon Cashmoney"
"Valentine Games"
"Nagomi Mcdaniel"
"Goodwin Morin"
"Pitching Machine"
"Tot Fox"
"Jessica Telephone"
"Hewitt Best"
"Jaxon Buckley"
"From the Bridge
They witness Dawn
Two Stars rising"
"Approaching the Vault."

Season 17 Earlsiesta

During the Season 17 Earlsiesta, Lōotcrates spoke about the Reader, a heretofore unknown entity, who likely provides the readings seen each Season.

"The Reader interjects
Projects upon the text
Fishes from neighboring streams."
"Flailing against the Current."
"At the Delta
Tributaries converge
The Historian collects the sea."

Season 17 Endseason

Lōotcrates arrived in the Season β17 Endseason, but did not announce the list of MVPs for that season, as was expected. Instead, they spoke briefly about "forging legends."

"Sediment Collects in the Delta
Sparking Nucleosynthesis
Forging Legends."
"Stars Vaulted"

Season 17 Elections

Lōotcrates left a message for Fans, appearing to comment on the Fairgrounds decree selected in the Season β17 Elections.

"The Stacks Remember
Prized Fights in the Midway
Keepsakes Reforged."
"Grand Openings."

Season 18 Gods' Day

The Library's first revealed Collection, The First Day, 1st Edition, contained a quote from Lōotcrates that wasn't accompanied by a main appearance on the site, but rather as part of a Feed event:


Season 18 Endseason

Lōotcrates appeared following Season β18, Day 99 to introduce the season's MVPs:

"Amid Rising Tides
A curious Read.
Undertow tugs against the Current."
"Sunken Costs."
"Another Dawn breaks in the Delta.
Vaulting Stars
Legends Forging New Editions."
"James Mora"
"Mcdowell Mason"
"Aldon Cashmoney"
"Valentine Games"
"Rat Mason"
"Goodwin Morin"
"Pitching Machine"
"Tillman Henderson"
"Nicholas Mora"

The Blaseball Roundup: Negative Influence

On the season 18-19 recap episode of the Blaseball Roundup, "Negative Influence," the Anchor reached out to Lōotcrates on the nature of any bias in the Collections in the Library[2], to which the response was:

"Rip Tide overtakes the Current
"The Stacks Repeat, Rhyme
"Spinning History
"Ends over Ends over Ends"

Season 20 Opener

After the Boss spoke prior to the beginning of Season β20, Lōotcrates also made a statement.

"From the safety of the Delta
The Historian eyes the Horizon
Humming a familiar Rhyme."
"A Sun Set.
A Second Day.
A breaking Dawn."

Season 20 Endseason

Lōotcrates appeared following Season β20, Day 99 to introduce the season's MVPs:

"Rising Stars"
"Paula Turnip"
"James Mora"
"Beck Whitney"
"Mcdowell Mason"
"Nagomi Nava"
"Wyatt Glover"
"Jessica Telephone"
"H-t-ie-d S-z-ki"
"Adalberto Tosser"
"Commissioner Vapor"
"Don Mitchell"
"Jaylen Hotdogfingers"
"Gerund Pantheocide"
"Golden hours
A trail of Embers
Dark Horizon"
"Approaching Ends."
"Desert, Conflagration
The Historian beckons
Offering Preservation, Containment"

Season 21 Endseason

Lōotcrates appeared following Season β21, Day 99 to introduce the season's MVPs:

"Upstream, Banks are trawled
Names Remembered
Legends Crafted"
"Echoes across Eras"
"Don Mitchell"
"James Mora"
"Paula Turnip"
"Wyatt Glover"
"In the name of Fairness
The Current Dammed
Mistakes Repeated"
"Awaiting Horizon."

Season 22 Endseason

Lōotcrates appeared following Season β22, Day 99 to introduce the season's MVPs:

"Speculation, Nucleosynthesis
A Bubble bursts
An Economy Collapses"
"A Golden Glove"
"Castillo Turner"
"Wyatt Glover"
"Collins Melon"
"Don Mitchell"
"Paula Turnip"
"Beck Whitney"
"Jaxon Buckley"
"Caleb Novak"
"Tiana Wheeler"
On the Horizon, an Event
A Constellation Opposes Rising Stars"

Season 23 Endseason

Lōotcrates appeared following Season β23, Day 99 to introduce the season's MVPs:

"Stars Rise
Expanding Constellation
Setting course for Waters Above"
"An Ending Begins"
"Events Horizoned
And Beyond
An Archipelago"
"Collins Melon"
"Castillo Turner"
"Beck Whitney"
"Don Mitchell"
"Jaxon Buckley"
"Nagomi Nava"
"Paula Turnip"
"Winnie Hess"
"Agan Espinoza"
"Dunlap Figueroa"
"Jessica Telephone"
"Gunther O'Brian"
"Sutton Bishop"
"Vessalius Sundae"

ILB Semi-Centennial

Lōotcrates appeared to host the Semi-Centennial at the Vault ballpark. Lōotcrates provided introductions to each inning and commentated on events that took place during the game until inning 22, when they retreated.

For a complete listing of Lōotcrates's commentary, see ILB Semi-Centennial.

Season 24

In Season 24, Lōotcrates appeared in the Vault corner of the map. After the Georgias reached that corner on Day 57, Lōotcrates spoke.

"At the Final Out
Dawn of a zeroed Horizon
The Historian Steels Second"
"Awaiting Sacrifice"
"Affording Scoring Position"

At the start of Day 82, Lōotcrates reacted to the Coin melting and the expansion of Black Hole (Black Hole).

"An Open Vault
Advances Runners
Escaping Horizon"
"The Historian Calls Safe"


Fan Works

  1. Lahiik [Lahiik#7219]. (29 July 2021). "CAP'N CRATES, WE AWAIT YER ORDERS!". (Message) - via #🔱ouch-ouch-suns-molten, Blaseball Discord.]
  2. The Blaseball Roundup: Negative Influence