Baltimore Crabs

Baltimore Crabs
[src:@4damAvenue]
Division	Lawful Evil
Ballpark	The Crabitat
Home Location	Baltimore (The Oldest Bay)
Team Slogan	"Claws Up!"
Emoji	🦀
Rivals	Everyone, the Umps, the Blaseball Gods, the Commissioner
Social media	Active: https://twitter.com/BlaseballCrabs Inactive: https://twitter.com/crabsofbmore https://twitter.com/BLTCrabs

The Baltimore Crabs are a Blaseball team in the Lawful Evil division of the Evil League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1.

Roster

Lineup

• Pedro Davids
• Valentine Games
• Parker Parra
• Kennedy Loser
• Combs Duende
• Sutton Dreamy
• Forrest Best
• Joshua Watson
• Nagomi Mcdaniel

Pitchers

• Brock Forbes
• Oliver Notarobot
• Montgomery Bullock
• Adalberto Tosser
• Tillman Henderson

Former Players

Incinerated

• Nora Perez

Transferred

• Winnie Hess (To the Kansas City Breath Mints, end of Season 1)
• PolkaDot Patterson (To the Canada Moist Talkers, end of Season 2)
• Holden Stanton (To the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, end of Season 3)

Season Results

Season	Wins	Losses	Notable Events
1	TBC	TBC
2 - 'The Discipline Era'	49	50	First team to reach a 20-inning game, versus the Jazz Hands.
3 - 'Peanut Plague/Uncertainty'	44	55	Lost PolkaDot Patterson. Spent most of the season in 4th or 5th in the Lawful Evil division but finished in a respectable 3rd.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Team Overview

History

For more on the Crabs' history, see Baltimore Crabs/History.

The Baltimore Crabs were founded in 1352 as a sign of worship for The Olde One, a deity that lies dormant in Baltimore Harbor.

Since the start of Internet League Blaseball, the Crabs fans and players have vowed to "turn [their] resentment for the indifferent Blaseball Gods, as well as [their] bitterness and spite, into fuel for the Great Crab Reckoning" due to the disastrous outcomes of the Season 2 election. It is as yet unknown what the Great Crab Reckoning entails, but it is theorized to involve carcinization: the belief that given enough time and evolution, all teams in the league will evolve into identical copies of the Crabs.

Stadium

The Crabs' home stadium is the Crabitat, located on the carapace of a titanic crab of unknown origin known only as The Crabaclysm.

Staff

Poet Laureate

The Crabs are to date the only Blaseball team with a poet Laureate, Runolfio Peeper. Peeper is most famous for his tribute to incinerated player Nora Perez.

Mascot

The Crabs' mascot (crabscot) is a crab named Crab Scott. They wield a knife in one claw and a cigarette in the other. They do not fear death, and harbor endless rage and vengeance against the blaseball Gods. They were originally a pet of PolkaDot Patterson, who in answer to how they came to acquire Scott as a pet simply said “They just kinda showed up one day.” Since Patterson’s defection at the end of Season 2, Crab Scott has since become the pet of replacement pitcher Oliver Notarobot.

Allegiances

• The Seattle Garages, for their shared love of deicide. The Crabs have no other allegiances, as they have declared war on the laws of god and man.

Former Allegiances

• Dallas Steaks, aka the Surf N Turf

Fan Culture

For a more in-depth look at Crabs fan culture, see Baltimore Crabs/Fan Culture.

A novelty oversized foam crab claw, dubbed by fans as "The Big Claw," often hoisted in the stands at Crabs games

The Crabs have a reputation as a hardy bunch. Crabs fans are often seen cheering for draws into extra time. Some suggest they believe this will accelerate the Great Crab Reckoning while others have suggested they merely appreciate a few extra innings. New fans of the Crabs are sometimes referred to as "crablet" or "softshell". Crabs fans refer to players of their team who don't pan out as "Bustaceans". The Crabs fans, though tough and "snip-throat" in competition, are among the most supportive and inclusive teams in the league.

Select Chants

Team-Wide

• Claws up!
• Claws up for Trans Rights!
• Let's go Crabs baby love da Crabs
• Hard Times, Hard Shells
• Call: Old!
  • Response: Bay!
• "Ain't no laws when you have claws" and its popular variant, "Claw's the law"
• Incinerate! Carcinizate! (when incineration occurs)

Player-Specific

• Best is Best! (Showing support for Forrest Best)
• Call: Ollie Ollie Ollie! Response: Snip snip snip! (showing support for Oliver Notarobot)

For Other Teams

• We are not from Chicago!
• Call: Never Look Back! Response: We Do Not Have Necks!

Fan Art

Have more Crabs fan art? Add it at Baltimore Crabs/Fan Art!

Badge by @heycatfish_