Spears Taylor

Spears Taylor
Art by @wrendorphin
Basic Information
Position	Pitcher
Team	Hawai'i Fridays
Former Team(s)	Philly Pies, Hades Tigers
Status	Incinerated
Batting	(3.2)
Pitching	(5.6)
Defense	(4.3)
Running	(2.7)
Modifications	AlternateThis Player is an Alternate... Player is replaced with an alternate reality version, stats are randomized.  NegativeThis Player is a Negative. Negative players have negative eDensity.  SeekerThe Player has a chance to bring teammates back from Elsewhere.  SiphonSiphons will steal blood more often in Blooddrain and use it in more ways.  Walk in the ParkThose with Walk in the Park will walk to first base on one less Ball.
Items	Repeating Broom ●○
Dates Active	Jul 20, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	Not Allergic
Pregame Ritual	Playing pranks
Coffee Style	Anything
Blood Type	Basic
Fate	5
Biographical Details
Pronouns	they/them
Other Background Information
Favorite Pie	Grasshopper Pie

Spears Taylor is a player in the Shadows for the Hawai'i Fridays, and has been with the team since the Season 8 elections. Taylor has played for the Philly Pies and Hades Tigers.

Official League Records

Taylor joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Philly Pies with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season 3, Day 98, Taylor swallowed a peanut and had an allergic reaction. This lowered their overall rating from to .

On Season 4, Day 43, Taylor exchanged to the Hades Tigers due to Feedback. Taylor was replaced by Jessica Telephone. Having played with the Pies during their victories in the first two season, Taylor, alongside Yazmin Mason, became one of the first two players to be on the winning team of three internet league championships. This title would have gone to Telephone had the trade not happened.

On Season 7, Day ██, Taylor entered Party Time with the Tigers. During the remainder of the Season, Taylor partied once, gaining a half star in batting. During the Season's elections, Taylor's batting was then rerolled to 1 star as a result of the Paracuasal Event blessing. Taylor's lost half-star was ultimately restored as a result of the Pretty Plz? blessing.

Taylor was traded to the Hawai'i Fridays in exchange for Aldon Cashmoney during the Season 8 elections via the Blind Date blessing.

During the Season 9 elections, Taylor received the Siphon modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Blooddrain decree.

During the Season 14 elections, Taylor received the Walk in the Park modification as a result of the Solo Stroll blessing.

During the Season 19 earlsiesta Taylor was given the Seeker modification as part of the seasonal reading.

On Season 22, Day 11, Taylor retreated to the Fridays' Shadows in exchange for Cordula Standlake at Hawai'i Viberight Field via the Ratified Voicemail. During the Season 22 elections, Taylor's star ratings were completely randomized as a result of the Shadow Alternate Trust blessing, resulting in Taylor becoming an Alternate and gaining the Negative modification.

Over the course of Season 23, Taylor entered and exited the Fridays' Shadows two times as a result of Hawai'i Viberight Field (Fax Machine events, ending the Season in the Shadows.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Player History

As an imp summoned using demonic magick by the 13th Order of Bloodstone Warlocks, Taylor is considered a native resident of Hades. Although most imps are conjured to perform some menial labor, Taylor proved to be overly capable as a janitor/hoplite and was instead used as a covert agent by the order, capable of breaking into military installations, noble manors, and corporate headquarters while carrying multiple unwieldy pole weapons.

Following the demise of the 13th Order of Bloodstone Warlocks, Taylor was unbound by all fel pacts and able to live and roam freely. They eventually left the underworld to roam Eastern Canada and Europe before reaching the Philly metro region.

Conjured henchmen by nature, imps are known to be impressionable creatures, and Taylor took on numerous jobs during this wandering time. Taylor was approached by Sam Hinkie outside of The Oven three hours before the first match of Season 1 when Hinkie realized the Pies never signed a Third Baseman. Taylor accepted the position despite never watching a Blaseball game. To this day, Taylor rejects any splorts representation or sponsorships, calling them "capitalist distractions".

World Tour

During Season 7, Taylor declared themselves mentor to Richmond Harrison. Taylor taught Harrison everything he knew about Blaseball, which unfortunately wasn't much. During the offseason, Taylor and Harrison then decided to mount a series of expeditions around the world to visit the home cities of other teams and find Blaseball wisdom. It was at their last stop, the infinite Los Angeli, where the pair managed to lose their way in spacetime and encounter their future selves in a paracausal event.

Taylor was disappointed to find that their future self wasn't actually any better at Blaseball at all, and couldn't teach them anything they didn't already know.

Polearm Incidents

Spears Taylor was at one time rated the second most anticapitalistic (warning: FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE) player in the league due to a history of throwing literal spears at capitalists. Taylor is perhaps best known for the incident where they threw a partizan at Bees Kneesos, or the time they made the news for clipping Eli Rank with a halberd. They love to steal... those bases!

Taylor has always had an obsession with equipment management, as players typically share equipment harmoniously without an expectation of ownership. Tigers manager Fearful Symmetry has been wary about appointing Taylor to this volunteer role, since they keep whittling bats into stakes and inserting iron tips into the balls.

Taylor has a lifetime ban from the underworld ride-sharing service Lyfe due to several incidents resulting in pierced upholstery. Since Taylor lives in the Sixth Circle Stadium Equipment Manager's Office and has the Hades Public Bus Route committed to memory, the lifetime ban has had no impact on their life (although they have compensated the drivers for the interior damage after Lyfe refused to).

Footage from Season 3, Day 98. Art by Onjit.

Peanut Vengeance and Feedback

On day 98 of Season 3, Taylor attempted to throw a spear into the heavens in order to bring down the Blaseball Gods themselves. Shortly after this rebellious act, they swallowed a stray peanut and had an allergic reaction. These events are assuredly a coincidence, as is their later banishment to the underworld via feedback.

Since the allergic reaction, Taylor has been prone to shrinking and growing unexpectedly, diminishing their ability to hit and run to bases. However, the new condition has not affected their prowess at throwing spears while playing defensively.

Since feedback-ing from the Pies to the Tigers, Taylor has been provided with, according to onlookers, "just an unreasonable number of pikes, glaives, lances [...] A big pile of loose pole-based weapons." When asked to comment on why, Fearful Symmetry said, "We actually had those lying around already. We've been trying to get rid of them for ages."

When approached by the media, Spears has refused any glory or attention connected to this title, stating such excuses as "I had strep throat during the awards ceremony for Season 1, so I never actually received that award".

Singing Voice

Spears Taylor's origins are shrouded in mystery. However, many claim that they follow a similar fate as fellow Pies player Kennedy Cena, being an amalgamation of both Taylor Swift and Britney Spears. Since joining the Tigers, Hades fans have also begun to speculate that they may be a siren instead. Neither of these theories have been confirmed, but eyewitness karaoke reports testify to the beauty and horror of their singing.

Fan Works

• 

  Spears Taylor
  by @juangeedraws

• 

  More Spears
  by @juangeedraws

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  Mini-Blaseballer
  by @HetreaSky

• 

  Spears Taylor
  by Bells

• 

  Just a little sippy
  by Bells